Smash or pass: the sexy tuna guy from the starkist cans
Fuck marry kill: green giant, sexy tuna, mr clean
You are NOT allowed to kill mr clean
This is obvious, kill the sexy tuna because that’s just weird, fuck Mr clean because he’s ripped and you know you won’t catch anything, now here you might think marry Mr clean because he’ll clean the house, but no, his cleanliness standards would be unbearable.
marry the green giant, making you basically a pagan god through marriage, and he can probably make vegetables grow using magic and as a vegan I need that, dick probably too big to do anything with but like, pagan marriages can be poly I think
I want you to know you are so powerful to be able to begin with “this is obvious”
The sun is probably the closest thing we’ll ever have to a true Eldritch Abomination. Hear me out here-
Older than recorded history; was here longer than any of us and will be here long after we leave. Has a finite beginning and end but is still incomprehensibly ancient
Burns itself into your vision instantly and can blind you if you look for too long
Further prolonged exposure can cause cancerous growths
Non-humanoid shape floating through space; colossal flaming tentacles angrily lash out on occasion
Sort of just appeared one day and is now surrounded by the corpses of its stillborn children
People used to sacrifice other people to appease it
wupacing 