i just saw a fb post where a man was arguing with a woman about the best way to make macarons and he kept insisting that she was wrong, and then eventually he was like “I’ve never personally made macarons, but if you think about it what I’m saying makes sense, i’m simply stating the obvious. i’m sure there are plenty of youtube tutorials that would show you the same thing.” and the woman replied by linking him to her instagram business page and she makes fuckin macaron towers for parties for a living and i’ve been laughing about it for a solid 5 minutes.
Men automatically assume they’re more of an expert on something than any woman on account of their dicks. I’ve never met such an ignorant and narcissistic creature as a male
I’ll never forget a time when a fb friend of mine posted that she’s on her way to hospital to give birth. Women commented with “good luck” and other encouraging messages. A man’s comment was advice on how to give birth.
You have got to be kidding me
So I was talking about Jekyll & Hyde (the book) at a writer’s museum while we were looking at an Robert Louis Stevenson exhibit. I was giving my take on Jekyll, and my brother tried to counter it. I countered back easily, and then he said “well I’ve never read the book”
My dude………..stop
my ex, whose baking experience was pretty much limited to frying premade biscuit dough in boy scouts to make ‘donuts’, would constantly try to correct me or give me advice on baking
i’m a fucking pastry chef
met a dude at a party who was talking about physics and asked if i’d ever listened to any online physics lectures bc he listened to all of this one series and they were so helpful and maybe i could learn some physics too
i have a degree in physics
and am a published coauthor in astrophysics
the best part is that the woman who invented the term ‘mansplaining’ (her name is Rebecca Solnit and i highly recommend her collection of essays) came up with it when she was at a party one night and a man tried to explain a book to her, and wouldn’t let her speak long enough for her to tell him that
she wrote the bloody book he was mansplaining to her
You know I have plenty examples of this but that last one takes the cake so imma just let it be.
Smash that mf reblog button if you stoically ignore all labelled washing instructions and everything your mama ever told you about laundry and just send those bastards hurgling around in an overfilled tub to meet either death or glory
Something I learned from a costume designer: if an item can be washed multiple ways the designer is only legally obligated to put one of the ways on the tag, but if there’s only one way to wash that item they have to put Only on the instructions
If the tag says “Dry Clean” it’s safe to machine wash but the designer thinks it looks better if you get it dry cleaned
But if it says “Dry Clean Only” you will destroy it if you wash it any other way
Reblogging for that last bit which this 37 yr old adult did not lnowy
I often see foxes referred to as “catdogs” on Tumblr, but I wonder if folks realise how true that really is.
There’s a phenomenon called convergent evolution that occurs when two taxonomically unrelated species exploit the same ecological niche. The features that are needed to best take advantage of a given niche are pretty much the same everywhere you go; thus, over time, those species will become anatomically and behaviourally similar, even though they’re completely unrelated.
And foxes? Foxes are what you get when an ecosystem has no native small felines, so a canine species evolves to take advantage of the ecological niche that would have been exploited by a small feline, if one existed.
In other words, a fox is literally what you get when a dog tries to cat.
So, in a way…
#omg #I knew I had a huge reason for loving foxs #other than #you know #loving fox
on a similar note, hyenas are what happens when there are no dogs so felines fill that niche, Hyenas particularly spotted hyenas are wolfcats
lasf;klaslk;f YEAH (also fuck yeah i’m including both jarvis and friday in on this they’re brother and sister i refuse to give up either)
Supposedly, Justin Hammer released the footage to make sure that the Avengers’ public image was ruined. You know, the usual stuff. See someone in their underwear, cursing, occasionally crying and eating yogurt on the floor at two in the morning.
What Hammer never expected was everyone to be laughing their asses off because Tony Stark doesn’t even mean to be funny, he just stares into his camera like he’s at the office.
Stark cameras are always equipped with a clear image, audio, and the ability to zoom. Since Jarvis and Friday think they’re hilarious, they have full control of the perspectives capture. Jarvis is usually the one who takes care of the serious things, but Friday likes adding zoom and special swivel effects, because she’s the punk kid.
So the public gets compilations of “Tony Stark Wanting to Die But It’s Ten Minutes Long.”
It starts with the first roll of footage. Clint asks if you could eat the beans they put into Beanie Babies.
Tony looks straight into the camera, face entirely dead.
The next instance is when Bucky and Natasha are having a fight, there are knives involved, and one grazes past Tony and creates a hole in his shirt. He just looks over at it, and then looks directly into the camera.
“What the fuck,” he says.
And then, they’re having a meeting about how Steve nearly died, and Steve says it wasn’t that bad, he just leaped from a plane that was in the fucking air, no big deal there, and Tony just blinks, slowly swivels, and looks dead in the camera.
“I want to die.”
“Tony! We’ve talked about you!” Bucky yells. “You can’t say shit like that to the camera, what if whoever is watching thinks you’re serious?!”
“If the footage gets released then millennials are gonna see it, and they relate to me,” Tony says. “The Spidey-kid says it all the time.”
“Shouldn’t you get him help?”
“Nah, he said eating Tide Pods was a joke, and now that’s passed. So I think he’s okay, I talked with his aunt about it.”
The footage then cuts to Clint and Bruce doing some sort of dance game on a motherfucking Wii, who let that into his house, and Clint made Bruce dance to “When I Grow Up” by the Pussycat Dolls, and he just walks away slowly.
“I wish I couldn’t see, I wish I couldn’t see, I wish I couldn’t see.”
The public’s view of Iron Man goes up by fifty percent. It’s awesome.
This is the MCU we deserved
The Steve Rogers ‘goddamn fucking republicans’ compliation
The Natasha Romanoff ‘fuck if I know shrug’ compliation
The Clint Barton ‘omg someone get this guy a guide-adult’ compliation
The Bruce Banner ‘ten times the Hulk almost joined a conversation’ compliation
The Thor ‘obvious delight at being introduced to new Midgardian things’ compilation
The Bucky Barnes ‘damnit, Steve!’ compilation
The Sam Wilson ‘facepalm’ compilation
Peter helps FRIDAY and JARVIS make the compilations.
this is too cool not to repost. unfollow if you must
hey! if you like this, go check out the other comics at http://www.johnnywander.com/! they make a bunch of really cool stuff, including Lucky Penny (which is one of my favorite comics ever)
To help with the whole ‘secret identity’ thing, the heroes of Gotham will absolutely wear someone else’s costume to cover for them while out sick/injured or just plain out of the city. This has led to hilariously wild and conflicting images for each of the heroes. Is it gonna be growl-y Batman or the Batman willing to finish a conversation? Extra flippy Nightwing or the Nightwing with a killer roundhouse kick? Maybe you’ll get the Red Robin who offers way too many statistics as a criminal or the eerily silent Red Robin who people swear up and down is a girl, either way this RR is going to body slam a criminal into a wall. Or perhaps the super short but no less deadly Red Hood’ll pop up.
No one knows which version of a mask they are going to get and that is just incredibly stressful for Gotham’s underbelly.
I love the suit-sharing idea so much and it’s given me so many ideas.
-the most popular first choice for a replacement is Cass because everyone knows she’ll make them look super awesome.
-When Cass got sick everyone wanted to be Black Bat, but she named Harper as her successor. Bruce was like “Cassandra honey Black Bat can’t have blue hair for one night, there needs to be a bit of consistency,” so Cass went ahead and dyed her hair blue as well and Bruce almost had a heart attack.
-Once Dick was Red Hood and wasn’t used to the helmet’s more restricted visibility, and he somersaulted straight into wall. Tim found footage of it in a security camera, and the batkids have regular viewings of it in Wayne Manor’s theatre. Dick is on a mission to destroy every copy of the video.
-Bruce would be more open to the idea of his kids being Batman for a night if they didn’t have so much fun with it. They always do horrible over-the-top impersonations of his Batman voice. “Dick I swear to God,” “SWEAR TO ME!!!” He’s tried locking up his suits but just has so many of them, there’s always a spare somewhere in the cave.
-Damian hates the idea of someone else being Robin and won’t turn over his costume, but it’s no use because Dick, Jason, Tim, Steph and Duke already have their own old Robin costumes so anyone can just ask to borrow theirs.
-The batkids start betting their costumes on games nights. Dick is, of course, the reigning champion at Twister, and a standing rule is that if anyone can beat him they can be Nightwing for a month.
-For ages Barbara and Alfred politely refused to join in the costume swapping, but then one night, without any warning, Dick called Oracle and Alfred picked up.
-Some nights, because there was a lot of betting the day before, or just because some kids are lazy and pick up the nearest costume, everyone somehow ends up with someone else’s costume, and the coms is hell. “Red Robin.” “Yes?” “No Tim I mean the Red Robin tonight.” “Oh, yes that’s me?” “Steph I thought you were Nightwing.” “Nope that’s Damian.” “Then where the hell is Duke.” “I’m Red Hood dude, I’ve literally been patrolling with you the whole night.” “What, I thought that was Harper.” “No I’m Batgirl.” “What, I thought that was Jason???” “Only codenames on the coms, everyone.” “Bruce why would you want this to be more complicated.”
– “Damian you little shit.” “Brown you said very clearly that I could choose tonight’s Batgirl.” “I am not being replaced by Bat-Cow.”
wupacing 