Can we have a Harry Potter AU where Regulus Black is the Death Eater spy turned potions master instead of Snape?
I can’t believe I only JUST realized all the comedy potential that is Sirius showing up to kill Peter 3rd year and finding his supposedly evil brother working at Hogwarts and having civil conversations with Remus about Harry’s grades
Please let this be after a full year of awkwardness of Regulus working with his evil brother’s ex
Sirius and Regulus are both convinced they’re the good brother
I’m so sorry, but this just looks like a rip from a rap video.
I’m fucking sobbing. Aragorn looks like he’s fighting off a bee before he swoops in to tackle someone. Legolas punching the air like he’s celebrating too early. The dude who’s creeping after Gimli like he’s gonna be an easy target and Gimli charging like a battering ram to crush his kneecaps. Gandalf serenely ignoring all this.
Apparently John Rhys-Davies aka Gimli did not fuck around with that poncy “not hitting the stunt men” shite..so that poor bastard probably did get speared by an armoured dwarf…
I feel like the reason certain dog-lovers insist cats are evil is because they read their body language as if they were dogs. So here’s a very basic guide to common “mean” things cats do that actually aren’t mean at all if you know what they’re thinking.
Rolling and exposing belly- attacks you when touched Does not mean: Give belly rubs! – haha I tricked you! Actually means: I’m playful! If you reach for my belly I’ll grab your arm and bite it because I think we’re playfighting!
Lazily exposing belly – still attacks when touched Does not mean: tricked you again! Actually means: I’m showing you my belly because I trust you. Please don’t break that trust by invading my personal space. I might accept a belly rub if I’m not ticklish and I know you well.
Snapping at you while being pet Does not mean: I suddenly decided I dislike you! Actually means: You’re petting me in a way that gives me too much restless energy. Please focus on petting my head and shoulders instead of stroking the full length of my back next time.
Is in the same room but makes no attempt to interact Does not mean: I’m ignoring you Actually means: We’re hanging out! I’m being respectful by giving you space while still enjoying your company.
Slapping/scratching your hand when you try to pet them Does not mean: I hate you! Actually means: You’ve failed to establish that we’re not playing, or the way you’re approaching me scares me. Be calmer, speak more gently, make eye-contact and blink slowly at me before you try again.
I love this post omg, thank you so much. As a lifelong cat person, dogs perplex me because they’re so completely different behaviourally.
I love dogs too but, I’ve been trying to tell people, you canNOT treat cats like you treat dogs. They arent the same animals and have very different personalities
P.s.: people often pet cats way too hard. Dogs like a firm pet or a pat on the belly, cats dont have the same bone structure and are more flexible than dogs so what you’re doing probably hurts them
Sitting and staring Does not mean: I am challenging you/plotting your demise/just generally evil and creepy. Actually means: I am a desert-adapted species, so my natural tears are very thick and keep my eyes moist for a nice long time. I do find people interesting and enjoy watching them. I just don’t need to blink very often!
Staring and blinking slowly Does not mean: I’m smug and think I am smarter than you. Actually means: I like you! But I don’t need to get up in your face to show it. I can just sit over here and blow kisses at you to show you I am glad you are around!
It’s very frustrating for me when people expect cats to act like dogs, or act like they’re deceitful. They aren’t! They just AREN’T DOGS.
Pour les chats 🐈💞
Get ready for “more reasons why I fucking love cats”
Yes, the legends are true. Cats headbutt you to show their trust and affection. They also do it to show “hey look I see you as family.” Lions do it with members of their pride to say the same. It’s not just because they want food.
Cats nibbling is indeed literally cats grooming you. It’s what mom cats do to their kittens. If a cat is gently biting and/or licking you, they’re now your mom.
Meowing can simply be for the mere fact they want to say hello, want to play or be pet. Again, not just for food.
They barely meow at other cats (except for kittens, they meow at mom cat), mostly just humans. There are exceptions but overall, meowing is almost always for us.
Cats squinting/slow blinking is indeed basically the equivalent of us smiling and/or kissing.
Cats, like humans, prefer to get things without having to work for it- which isn’t very common within other animals.
Cat massages or making biscuits is because they happy! Kneading is another way of saying “hey I like this moment here I enjoy you and my life.”
Cats recognize us by smell, sound, taste, and touch. They recognize us after years as their long term memory is extremely good. This is why abused or neglected cats are so easily scared or hard to connect with. If your scent changes over the years or just in the day, your voice will them it’s really you. Also, they will only remember you if you had impact on their life. If you just existed in the same house, they obviously won’t care.
And yes, they know our patterns in the day. You notice it when it’s beneficial to them (feeding time!). They will often wait for you to come home as well.
To remember: cats think we are interesting as hell. They watch us do everything because we’re fascinating!!!
They also want you to be around when eating because they feel vulnerable. They focus on eating so they hope you protect them. They do the same for you, all the time.
CATS 😍😍😍😍
when a cat turns their back on you, they’re not snubbing you. they’re trusting you to watch their back.
notice how when you’re unfamiliar but nonthreatening, they might loaf facing you and sorta halfway watch you. you’re not fully trusted, but you’re ok by them.
when you’re familiar and liked, they’ll often sit near you facing the same way. imitation of poses is a weird little way cats show solidarity. they do it to each other too. check out these bff’s:
they are doing this on purpose. it’s a buddy thing. so if you’re watching tv and a cat sits next to you and pretends to watch tv too, they are basically calling you bro and declaring friendship.
and if they really love and trust you, they’ll turn their back on you and go to sleep. they’ll sleep facing a wall in your presence, or lounge where they can’t see the room. this isn’t a snub, folks, this is true kitty love. they’re saying, “i feel safe when you’re around. i know nothing’s going to sneak up on me, because you’re here. i feel so safe i can stick my head under a pillow and snore with my butt pointed at you.”
farts aren’t an expression of love, though, as far as i know. they’re just farts.
Sapphire (the cat) keeps headbutting Darian (my senior dog) because Darian is gentle and soft and fuzzy.
Darian, meanwhile, is horrified that this cat keeps getting in his face when he’s trying to nap.
A guy just came to my house while I was home alone to ask if I was single why are men like this
Okay y’know what I’m gonna soapbox for a hot minute
When I was in high school, a man who I’d thought was the parent of a school friend followed me out to the grocery store parking lot greenhouse where I worked. It was dark, and late, and it was me, alone, in a chain link enclosure with one exit and a register full of cash. He called me up to the fence and asked if I wanted to get dinner, or go dancing. I was scared and shaking and told him no several times, and he only left when I falsely said I had a boyfriend. I was very aware that if he were to come over the fence, or just wait at the exit until I eventually had to leave, I could do nothing about it.
When my hair was very short, a hairdresser sent me to the barber’s side of the store so they could get the back of my head with clippers. The barber followed me out to my car to ask me out afterwards. I was very aware that we were the only people in the parking lot when it happened, and that the lot itself was tucked behind the building with no clear visibility to the road.
Today, a man I’ve met once made it very clear he knows where I live, and used that knowledge to express a romantic interest. If he ever decides that he’s unhappy with how I responded, he knows where I live. He knows what my car looks like. It is impossibly easy for him to determine when I’m home alone, and now I have to live with that knowledge.
Every woman I know has at least one story like this. My roommate had to be escorted to her car every night when she was a waitress, in case some man was waiting for her or a coworker’s shift to end.
If the person you want to ask out cannot physically run away from you when you are asking, YOU CANNOT ASK THEM OUT. You cannot ask someone out if they are at work. You cannot ask someone out if you’ve followed them to a remote/unoccupied/enclosed area. You cannot GO TO SOMEONE’S HOME UNINVITED to ask them out. You are not being romantic. You are not “taking initiative”. You are terrifying the person you want to woo. If they say yes, it is not because they want to, it is because they are terrified of what might happen if they say no.
I’m so tired of being terrified by men who think they’re being romantic.
“Every woman” you say. Do you personally know every woman in the world? Don’t presume to speak for others, and don’t make this a gendered issue either.
Actually every woman in the world is in one big group chat and they’re all telling you to fuck off
“Joan of Arc came back as a little girl in Japan, and her father told her to stop listening to her imaginary friends. Elvis was born again in a small village in Sudan, he died hungry, age 9, never knowing what a guitar was. Michelangelo was drafted into the military at age 18 in Korea, he painted his face black with shoe polish and learned to kill. Jackson Pollock got told to stop making a mess, somewhere in Russia. Hemingway, to this day, writes DVD instruction manuals somewhere in China. He’s an old man on a factory line. You wouldn’t recognise him. Gandhi was born to a wealthy stockbroker in New York. He never forgave the world after his father threw himself from his office window, on the 21st floor. And everyone, somewhere, is someone, if we only give them a chance.”
you know what i don’t see enough of? circus kid dick grayson critiquing the joker because he’s a bad clown. not like, bad, and also a clown. but bad at being a clown. i want to see dick grayson taking the existence of this horrible clown very personally as a matter of professional pride. he has known clowns, and you, sir, are no clown. the joker is an insult to the legacy of emmett kelly and this shall not stand.
“Sir, you are no clown! Your slapstick is shoddy, your prat falls are practically nonexistent, and you have NO sense of comedic timing! Do you even have ANY idea what type of clown you’re trying to pull off? Are you a Straight Whiteface, or a Grotesque Whiteface? Because you have no commitment to character that I can see! You can’t just slap on some makeup and call yourself a clown. There’s a proud history to be upheld! I BET YOU NEVER EVEN GOT A DEGREE FROM CLOWN COLLEGE!!!”
*Joker and henchmen stare in shocked silence as Dick continues his rant*
#Joker changes his rivalry from Batman to Nightwing because he’s so offended
#Dick storms into Arkham and stomps down the halls to Joker’s cell
wupacing 