Tag: asexuality

stele3:

randomslasher:

vladtheimpalainvalhalla:

vaspider:

notalwaysweak:

joannablackhart:

yamino:

tristifere:

himteckerjam:

intersectionalfeminism:

Acephobia in the LGBT+ Community from the documentary (A)sexuality. 

It is just…so fucking weird how threatened people feel when it comes to Asexuality.  I still can’t wrap my mind around it.

I’m so happy this post is being reblogged by LBGT+ people who aren’t asexual. I keep on reading posts by non-ace LGBT+ people of support to the ace community, and of being stunned by this reaction by a movement which should know better than to judge. AND THAT MAKES THIS ACE SO FREAKING HAPPY. The woman in the first photo expresses my sentiment. I know I belong in the queer/LGBTQIA movement. I want to belong. But I just don’t know if I’m welcome. I’m so happy that there are so many people on Tumblr who do not fall into the catagory of outright refusal of asexuality.

I know not a lot of people understand asexuality. And I know there’s confusion about it, about our experiences, and about how we fit in the movement. But let’s talk about this. Let’s have this conversation.

I mostly don’t delve into the ace tags, but I hear there’s a lot of ace-hate that and I really don’t get it.  I don’t understand how asexuality is threatening.

You know what I (as a queer ace-spectrum person) find most threatening?  Getting unwanted sexual unwanted advances from both queer and straight people. I’ve gotten them from people of all spectrums and it always makes me profoundly uncomfortable, and often unsafe.  It just boggles my mind how people are upset by the concept of asexuality.  That’s like getting really mad at someone who isn’t hungry.  What’s the point?  Just shut up eat your own sandwich. (And stop chewing on me.)

Wow, the fuck the people in those images.

Nobody has the right to disrespect anybody else’s sense of self. It may not be for, you but that does not give you the right to be an asshole.

We really need to push more for LGBTQIA+ to be a standard, instead of just LGBT, especially considering that even the B and T are already invisible in much of the community.

Not supporting some of us = not supporting all of us.

Not supporting some of us = not supporting all of us.

It really, really does bear repeating.

I couldn’t be further from ace, but for serious.

If we’re not in this together, we’re not in this at all.

This makes me so angry. I have friends who are ace, and they are just as much a part of the queer community as I am.

We need to embrace asexuality and treat it with the respect that it deserves.

I heart the non-aces who reblog this so hard. ❤ Thank you friends. 

Bless you guys so much.

akamine-chan:

the-s-s-anna:

I wanna tell you guys a story,

Not too long ago, my friend Bella came out as aromantic to me, and now I’ve got some things to say.

I was the one who told her what aromantic means, because I was explaining different sexual orientations to her. I remember saying, “Asexualiy is when you have romantic attraction, but no sexual attraction.”

Bella immedently, without missing a beat, asked, “Is there an opposite to that?”

I asked what she meant, and she asked if there was a term for sexual attraction but no romantic attraction. I told her about aromantics. She got weirdly quiet, then excused herself.

Not two weeks later I was heading to my boat. I was supposed to meet Bella and another one of our muteral friends there for a day of fishing.

As soon as I was in earshot, I saw Bella storming off the boat, and our other friend standing there like an idiot. Boi had no idea what was happening.

Anyway, Bella isn’t looking where she’s going and walks smack dab into me. That’s when I realized she was crying. Puffy red eyes, wet cheeks, the whole nine yards… And if you know anything about Bells, she does not cry. Ever.

She’s been through some serious crap in her life, and she does not cry. She’s tough as nails. Bella has a steel core. She does not not cry. I’ve seen her fall off a roof and break her arm before, not a single tear. I can’t stress this enough, Bella. Doesn’t. Cry.

So seeing her in tears shook me. I took her by the shoulders and escorted her somewhere more private where we could talk. We ended up in the women’s restroom, which was weird as fuck for me, because haven’t been in a woman’s rest room for years. Luckily it was empty, and I’m realistic, I know I don’t pass so well, so I don’t think anyone would have said anything anyway.

Before I can even ask her what’s wrong she hugs me around my middle and burys her face in my hoodie. Then, in a voice I can only describe as traumatized, she says, “I think I’m broken.”

I’ve never seen her in so much pain, and Bella and I are CLOSE. She’s one of my dearest friends. She’s like my little sister, but if she’s like my sister, our other muteral friend is like her twin. He and Bella have know each other WAY longer, they’re practically inseparable. They come as a pair. They’re a duo. They’re a package deal.

Appearently, said muteral friend asked Bella out and forcefully kissed her. She shoved him off, and told him she’s aromantic, which she only recently figured out. She wasn’t ready to be out, but this muteral friend left her no choice. She tried telling him no, and he didn’t listen. Bella saw no other option.

Quote on quote, this is what he said to Bella. “That’s okay. You just haven’t dated me yet. We’ve been like, unofficially together for years. You’re probably just freaked out that it’s finally going somewhere.”

After that I’m not 100% clear on what happened, but apparently Bella kept saying no Nd trying to explain herself, but he kept insisting he could ‘fix her.’

Eventudally she started crying and stormed away. That’s when I found her.

Keep in mind, this was her first experience coming out, and her best, closest friend insisted he could fix her and forcefully kissed her. I found out later he also implied corrective rape would ‘solve the problem.’

Bella was traumatized. She’s still traumatized. I tried to make her feel better by buying her an aro pride shirt, and taking her go a local LGBTQ+ hang out. I wanted her to be around like minded people, so she could see she wasn’t broken, and her identity deserved to be respected.

Instead of a warm, welcoming environment… The first thing someone said to her was, “This place is for REAL lgbt people. You don’t belong here.” He also implied she wasn’t human.

Just think about that for a minute. Her first experiences with being an out aromantic have been limited to;

  1. A person she trusted more than anyone forcing himself upon her, claiming she was ill, and needed to be fixed. (Raped.)
  2. Sobbing in my arms in the women’s restroom because she thought she was broken and defective.
  3. Being told she wasn’t welcomed in LGBTQ+ spaces and called inhuman.

This isn’t what I want for her. Bella deserves better than this. She needs a support system, not all this crap. I’ve spent the past week trying to undo all the damage exclusionists, arophobes, and people she trusted did.

Aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQ+ community. You literally cannot change my mind.

Did I already queue this? Dunno. But let me say that I’ve never stood by while gatekeepers try to well, gatekeep.

I didn’t put up with it as a teenager really into sci-fi, I didn’t put up with it from the dude bros in game and comic shops, and I certainly won’t stand for it in my LGBT+ community.

Aces and aros are welcome in my community.

Reasons why I need the A in LGBTIAQ to stand for Asexual, not Ally

defira85:

Because my mother told me that all I needed to do was get drunk and lie back and let me husband have his fun. Because if I was drunk, I’d be more relaxed and it’d be over sooner

Because my sister told me that I was trapping my husband in an abusive marriage, and that one day he was going to leave me

Because both of them looked at me in disgust

Because my asexuality is considered to be as great a crime against my husband as a woman who has affairs and cheats on her husband

Because my cousin didn’t even try to understand, and just kept asking ‘but what about in five years? how will you feel then?’

Because I was so afraid of my body and so afraid of sex that I didn’t seek medical help for a legitimate question for over a year for fear of being labelled a deviant or something broken

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if my husband wouldn’t be better off without me

Because I still ask myself at least once every day if I’m broken

Because I still tell myself at least once every day that I’m pathetic and useless and an abnormality

Because I love my husband with every fibre of my being, but everywhere I turn I’m told I really don’t, because love = sex

I need A to stand for Asexual because nobody ever talked to me about asexuality even when I was an outpatient at the women’s hospital for 18 months, and everyone told me desire would come in time

I need A to stand for Asexual because we are literally invisible, and so unimportant that people assume we don’t even need representation, because everyone assumes our lives must be bland and unimportant and lacking in challenges or bigotry

For every asexual that wants a relationship, for every asexual that does not want a relationship, for every asexual who has not yet come to terms with their identity, for every asexual who was told we were abnormalities, for every asexual who was told we just weren’t doing sex right, that we needed a good fucking, that we needed to be drunk, that we needed to relax, that we needed to be raped

We need representation, and we need visibility

That is why the A needs to stand for Asexual, and never for Ally

tehriz:

bi-asexual:

davidsjay:

aces-aint-cishets:

davidsjay:

aces-aint-cishets:

allocrowking:

aces-aint-cishets:

allocrowking:

aces-aint-cishets:

allocrowking:

ive said it once before but ill say it again now. claiming you’re ace when you still have sex, and claiming you’re aro when you still date, is utterly useless. if you dont experience sexual attraction then dont have sex. if you dont experience romantic attraction (which imo there is no difference between the two) then dont go on dates. otherwise what is the point of the label

Why is it only okay to police the sex lives of ace people?

if i had sex with someone and they later told me that they werent attracted to me i’d be pissed and feel used.

That’s why you talk and communicate with your partner BEFOREHAND. Jesus, that’s basic human decency regardless of ace status.

whats the point in saying ur ace if u have sex anyways 🙂

Some of us still get boners. Some of us enjoy the intimacy with our partners. Asexuality means we don’t feel attraction, it doesn’t mean blood suddenly doesn’t rush to our genitals sometimes

hate to tell you but that’s just sexual attraction. i know it’s hard for most asexies on this site to wrap their heads around this but something needs to CAUSE that boner. sexual attraction isn’t some magical feeling only the dirty allos get. if you want and seek out sex, that’s sexual attraction. asexuality will never be a spectrum because you either like having sex or you don’t. if you force yourself to have sex for the sake of your partner then that’s unhealthy and extremely damaging to yourself

Why is it that everyone who’s trying to convince me that asexuality is specifically a sex-based identity are people who aren’t ace and therefore can’t understand something not being sex-based?

asexuality is literally the lack of sexual attraction. that’s it. in it’s most basic definition without mogai bullshit, that’s what it is. if it’s not sex-based then what the fuck is it? or are you just going to go “hehehe it’s our exclusive club that only asexy people understand hehe”

this is literally why people won’t take you seriously. you change the definition every time to fit your agenda and claim that non-asexual can’t understand how Special you are

Hi there. I’m going to address both this post and the one you made before it, because you seem to misunderstand a several things regarding asexuality, attraction, and how human bodies work. 

[First, I’ll address the points made in the post I’m responding directly to:]

“if it’s not sex-based then what the fuck is it?” – You answered this one already; it’s a lack of sexual attraction. Sexual attraction isn’t based on having, or not having, sex. The way that someone behaves (such as having sex) doesn’t actually factor into who they feel attraction toward or what orientation they are. Can the behavior and attraction and orientation all go together, hand-in-hand? Absolutely! There’s nothing wrong with that. However, behavior doesn’t influence attraction or orientation in any way. This might seem confusing, but think about it in the context of literally any other orientation. 

Let’s imagine a gay man who definitely feels sexual attraction to other men. If he wants to have sex with them, that’s great! But what if he doesn’t? What if he’s closeted, or married to a woman, or is someone who is choosing to be celibate for any reason (like to follow religious rules). Does the fact that he isn’t having sex with other men suddenly mean he’s not gay? Of course not, because behavior has nothing to do with sexual orientation or sexual attraction. 

Let’s take it one step further: imagine that this gay man is married to a woman. Why? Maybe he married young, while he was still unsure of himself. So, he marries a woman, has sex with the woman, has a couple of kids. Then he realizes he’s gay. Do we say that he isn’t gay because he’s had sex with a woman? Obviously not, because behavior has nothing to do with attraction or orientation. If he stays in the marriage and has a couple more children because he’s closeted, do we say that he isn’t gay because he’s still in a relationship with a woman? No, because behavior has nothing to do with attraction or orientation. 

Now let’s imagine a bisexual woman. She feels attraction to lots of different people, but she’s only ever had sex with women. No real reason behind it, because she’s not avoiding men and nonbinary people, but she’s just only had the opportunity for sex with ladies. Does the fact that she’s only ever had sex with women mean that she’s a lesbian? No, of course not, because behavior has nothing to do with sexual orientation or sexual attraction. 

Now let’s go back to asexuals. Let’s imagine an asexual person who is also biromantic. They feel no sexual attraction to anyone (that’s the asexual part) but they do feel romantic attraction to people of two or more genders (that’s the bisexual part). Maybe this asexual chooses to have sex, and maybe they don’t. Either way, it doesn’t matter, because the thing that determines a sexual orientation is the feeling of attraction. In an asexual, that can be split so that romantic attraction is felt where sexual attraction isn’t. In an aromantic, that can be split so that sexual attraction is felt where romantic attraction isn’t. In someone who is both aromantic and asexual, neither sexual nor romantic attraction are felt. And none of it requires someone to have, or not to have, sex. Why? Because behavior does not influence attraction or orientation. 

“or are you just going to go “hehehe it’s our exclusive club that only asexy people understand hehe”” – Do some people have difficulty understanding asexuality? Sure, and that’s okay. It can be hard for someone who isn’t asexual to wrap their heads around what it feels like to be asexual. But that’s true of understanding any orientation that isn’t yours. I’m nonbinary and bi and ace. I have difficulty understanding how cis gay men feel, but I believe them when they talk about how they feel, and I listen to them when they talk about how they feel, because I recognize that they know more about being cis gay men than I ever will. Why not extend that same courtesy to everyone who has a different orientation than you?

“you change the definition every time to fit your agenda and claim that non-asexual can’t understand how Special you are” – I haven’t changed the definition here at all. (And, for the record, asexuality is neither “special” nor involves an “agenda”.) Asexual still means “the lack of sexual attraction”, just like you said it did. Your problem isn’t in knowing what the definition is, because you do. Your problem is understanding what that definition means, because you’re assuming that attraction must be present for consensual sex to happen (which is false) and that if sex is happening then attraction must also therefore be present (which is false). 

Here are some reasons why a person might choose to have sex even when they don’t feel sexual attraction to their partner(s): 

  • some people enjoy having orgasms
  • some people enjoy giving orgasms
  • use the endorphins from having sex to help relieve pain (such as from menstrual cramps)
  • their partner(s) enjoys sex and they don’t mind going along (think of this like “My partner(s) like taking pottery class, so although I don’t particularly care about pottery one way or the other, we go to pottery class together because I want to make my partner(s) happy,” only with sex)
  • stress relief
  • some people believe having sex boosts immunity and/or heart health
  • fun workout
  • they want to have biological children and sex is a pretty cheap way to make kids, as compared to, for example, in vitro fertilization treatment
  • use sex as a way to be close/get closer with their partner(s)
  • use sex to help them get to sleep at night
  • boredom
  • anyone who wants to break a “dry spell” by having a one night stand
  • they’re a sex worker who doesn’t only pick clients that they feel sexually attracted toward
  • etc.

All of that applies to everyone, not just asexuals. None of that requires that a person feels sexual attraction. 

And, while slightly off-topic, allow me to also mention the fact that the phrase “you can’t have sex without feeling sexual attraction” is absolutely, 100% slut-shaming. People can absolutely have sex without feeling sexual attraction, and there’s nothing wrong with that. As long as everyone involved in the sex is a consenting adult, there’s nothing wrong with it, and that remains true no matter the orientation(s) of the people involved. 

[And now, addressing the points you made in the post immediately prior (in this reply chain) to the one I’m currently responding to:]

“something needs to CAUSE that boner“ – No. Literally, that’s not how erections work. Ask anyone with a penis if they’ve ever gotten a hard-on for no reason, and they’ll say yes. Sometimes dicks just get hard, even when nothing arousing is going on, even when the timing is awful or embarrassing. Ask anyone with a vagina if they’ve ever gotten wet without a reason, and they’ll say yes. Sometimes, vaginas just get wet, even when nothing arousing is going on, even when the timing is awful or embarrassing. Just because someone’s body is physically aroused (blood rushing to the genitals, etc.) doesn’t mean they feel sexual attraction. Can sexual attraction lead to physical arousal? Yes. But physical arousal doesn’t mean that sexual attraction must also be present.


“sexual attraction isn’t some magical feeling only the dirty allos get“ – First and most importantly, there’s nothing “dirty” about being allosexual. There’s never been anything dirty or wrong or impure or bad about being allosexual. Second, you’re right, because grey-asexual and demisexual people exist. Allosexual means “someone who experiences sexual attraction”. It’s a very broad label, just like “asexual” has a very broad label. Allosexual doesn’t mean that the person always feels sexual attraction, or feels sexual attraction every second of every day. It just means that the person in question has the capacity to feel sexual attraction. 

Grey-asexual and demisexual people are interesting, because they’re where the overlap between allosexual and asexual happens. Demisexual: those who never feel any sexual attraction to anyone, ever, until suddenly, after developing a deep emotional connection with someone, they can feel sexual attraction to that specific person.  Grey-asexal: those who think that they might feel sexual attraction sometimes but aren’t sure, or those who know they’ve felt it once/rarely but who cannot feel sexual attraction for the majority of the time, even sometimes to the people they’ve felt attraction toward before. 

They’re not very specific labels, true. My understanding is that they were made vague on purpose to be inclusive for as many people, having a wide variety of experiences, as possible. But this is all getting off track. 

A person who is asexual and who chooses to have sex isn’t suddenly experiencing sexual attraction, because behavior and attraction are not the same thing and do not necessarily influence each other, as we’ve already discussed. 

(And before anyone jumps in with “But that can’t be right, because then EVERYONE would be demisexual/grey-asexual!”, please believe that if you think that the majority of people go through life only once/rarely feeling sexual attraction, or that they spend the majority of their lives feeling no sexual attraction to anyone ever until they form a deep emotional connection with someone, then you really need to understand these experiences are not what the majority of the population feels. The majority of the population does have the ability to feel sexual attraction to complete strangers, celebrities, actors/actresses, musicians, some cute guy on the bus, the hot grocery store checkout clerk, etc. No one feels sexual attraction to everyone all the time, true. But if you think that literally everyone could call themselves demisexual or grey-asexual because you imagine the majority of the world feels like you do, and you feel like demisexual or grey-asexual would fit you as a label, then that’s something you should spend some time exploring.)


“if you want and seek out sex, that’s sexual attraction“ – Not quite. I’ll be the first to admit that asking an asexual to describe sexual attraction is a little bit like asking a colorblind person to describe what colors look like, but I’ll give it a shot. 

People have described sexual attraction as a feeling that causes you to desire having sex with someone you find appealing, or as a feeling that leads to the desire to engage in a sexual relationship, or as a quick burst of feeling that determines whether or not you would wish to have sex with a person, or as an emotional response to someone you find sexually appealing, or as an appreciation for someone you would consider a potential sexual partner, or as having a directed libido (specifically, having one’s libido directed at a particular partner or partners), or a feeling of attraction based on sexual desire, and so on. There isn’t just one widely accepted definition of sexual attraction, at least not at present. 

The one thing we know, despite the fact that there’s no clear-cut definition of sexual attraction available, is that “chooses to have sex with a person” isn’t a defining factor of sexual attraction. You can feel sexually attracted to someone without choosing to have sex with them. You can have sex with someone without feeling sexually attracted to them. This much is clear.

An asexual may choose to engage in sexual relations with a partner or partners, but that doesn’t mean the feeling of attraction must be present, because behavior is not the same as attraction, and it’s absolutely possible to have sex without feeling attraction to one’s partner(s).

“asexuality will never be a spectrum because you either like having sex or you don’t.” – Asexuality has nothing to do with liking sex or not, or with having sex or not. Asexuality as an orientation does mean “someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction” as you yourself pointed out. But asexuality also functions as an umbrella label, under which demisexual and grey-asexual fit, as previously discussed. 

“if you force yourself to have sex for the sake of your partner then that’s unhealthy and extremely damaging to yourself” – Forcing yourself to have sex when you don’t want to is unhealthy and damaging. Choosing freely to have sex because of any of the above mentioned reasons (see the bullet points), or for any reason, is fine. Consenting sex between adults isn’t damaging or unhealthy, no matter what the orientation(s) of the people involved are. 

Also, choosing to have sex because your partner likes sex isn’t an “unhealthy and extremely damaging” reason. My sister-in-law doesn’t care about watching sports, but she chooses to watch sports because it makes my brother happy to watch sports with her. My friend doesn’t care about going to art museums, but he chooses to do it because it makes his partner happy when they go together. As long as choosing to have sex isn’t something you’re forcing yourself to do when you don’t want to, it’s not somehow inherently worse than making any other decision based on your partner’s preferences. That’s true no matter what your or your partner(s) orientation(s) are. 

When someone who is asexual chooses to have sex, that doesn’t invalidate their asexuality, because behavior doesn’t influence attraction or orientation. Asexuals can consent to sexual behavior just like anyone else. 

Also to throw in a note for the aromantic side: some aro people still want life partners. Some aro people still want sexual partners. Some aro people who are maybe on the gray- or demi-sides of the spectrum go on dates to see if they can find a connection to someone they then may develop romantic feelings for. iT’S ALMOST LIKE YOU CAN CHOOSE TO GO ON DATES FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER AND STILL BE ARO AND THAT’S FINE, MUCH LIKE ONE CAN CHOOSE TO HAVE SEX FOR ANY REASON AND STILL BE ACE AND THAT’S ALSO FINE

Are you married to Kryptaria? Sorry random if not, I just know she recently just got married as well and it seemed like a possibility lol Regardless, congratulations on your one month anniversary!! :)

anauthorandherservicedog:

Thank you! I actually am Kryptaria’s sideblog, but I just got married to @leavesdancing a month ago, so we’ll take it all the same. ❤ ❤ ❤

In the marriage, I’m Dog Mom, she’s Cat Mom, so it’s easy to get confused. But we have a happy, loving, cross-species family – plus we’re both aces, so YAY ACES!

Bucky:

Ilya:

Bucky and TEENY TINY ILYA OMG:

anauthorandherservicedog:

autismserenity:

dailyacepositive:

I get a lot of asks from people who are scared to call themselves aspec because they aren’t sure if they’re ace or aro enough. So if you’re going through this right now, I want you to know this:

It’s never about you being ace/aro enough. It’s about whether you find the labels useful. If you find calling yourself ace, aro, aroace useful then that’s all you need.

ok see, THIS is what I’ve loved about the aspec community since i met it. This, above, is true of all labels, and I almost never hear it. I think the only other place I’ve heard it like this was in the multiple community, years ago.

Ideas like “it’s OK if your sexual orientation, or your understanding of it, changes; it doesn’t make your experience before, or now, less valid,” and “labels are about whether they’re useful to you, not whether someone out there has a yardstick you measure up to,” are so fucking true and important.

And we NEED them, in the community as a whole. We’re pushed so hard to think we’re not whatever enough, and that we have to get our gender and orientation right, right away.

We’re pushed like that because society benefits from making our communities as small and broken-up as possible.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: we need aspecs in the queer community. They contribute really important culture and experience and ideas, that enrich the larger community in ways it desperately needs.

Labels change, and that’s okay.

At first, I assumed I was “normal*”

Then I started dating boys, around 12 or 13, because that was what girls did.

Then at 15 or 16, a boy convinced me to join him and his girlfriend in a threesome. She and I realized we liked each other more than him. So I thought “Hm, maybe I’m bisexual.”

Then in my 30s, I dated a trans man and wondered if that changed my labels. I figured “Maybe I’m pansexual.”

But through it all, as much as I enjoyed spending time with and sharing my life with some of these people (pretty much the ones I didn’t marry – the ones I did marry all demanded sex, whether I wanted it or not), the sexual part of our relationships was uniformly “fake it till you make it.” And I never made it.

But I kept faking it, because I thought I was pansexual or bisexual, which – to me – meant I like some people – so maybe it was just a matter of finding the right person, no matter their gender.

I wasn’t 40 until I heard the word “asexual” applied to a human and not a single-celled organism, and I thought “Oh my god, that’s me!” But even then, my fear and denial drove me to think I was demisexual or gray-ace, because “asexual” felt binary. Complete. Broken.

Seven years later, I’m learning to accept that asexual doesn’t equal broken. Asexual – specifically autochorissexual – equals me, and accepting that is the most wonderful thing I could do for myself.

So now it’s time to figure out this whole romance thing. Right now, I like “wtfromantic” as a label, because it covers the whole “might be aro” thing while expressing that I don’t fully understand aromanticism.

And if that’s not complicated enough, my wife and I – ages 50 and 47 respectfully – are both trying to figure out our genders. I’ve been content to use she/her all my life out of habit, but it’s never felt right. And I never imagined how much more settled in my body I feel now that I’ve had a hysterectomy, especially since I shouldn’t be able to “feel” the aftermath (beyond lack of periods) but I do. I feel like my body is closer to what it should be. And if I could have top surgery without the pain and cost, I’d jump at the chance in a heartbeat.

So what are my labels? Fuck if I know. Autochorissexual wtfromantic gender-questioning is pretty cumbersome, so right now, I prefer queer. And for Pride, I dyed Bucky’s tail in ace colors so people might know which direction my particular “queer” label takes, in a broad sense.

*I hate the word “normal” now. It’s not a label; it’s a prison.