Tag: au

nebezial-asheri:

decided to put these in a bit of a chronological order as i can’t help but form a story behind the scenes. it’s a storyteller’s habit. and yeah i do have an idea i would genuinely like to explore with gail simone as a crossover comic. 

i don’t want to be the writer for this. but at the same time i always found diving into these things and exploring the character chemistry was the best way to get an artistic feeling for it.

this is also how i usually develop my own stories.

anyhow, while many think this is me drawing some shipping, in fact this a proof of concept for an adventure story  featuring lara and diana. Gail simone at some point asked if they would kiss and i gave it some genuine thought. i am a character first kind of a writer, myself, so i contemplated this. then i decided, yes, probably.

after all, romantic subplots have been the bread and butter of adventure writing since its inception and i always liked that aspect of adventure stories.

 i hope this puts some things in context from my end XD

and while

there will probably be a few more of these, there will be no nsfw pics. after all, camera pans away from indiana jones in those moments as well  XD

okay… there may be a chance of a kiss… but that’s about it. 

emily84:

celesteandtheirfandoms:

inspectorclarke:

octoberreads:

farashasilver:

lycanography:

What if instead of gilly weed Harry had showed up to the black lake challenge in muggle scuba gear like “like where’s your advanced magic now bitches? Got me a free fishing knife with this thing”

Honestly I just want an AU where Harry approached all his magical problems with muggle solutions. Nobody knows how to handle it because he’s supposed to be there learning magic but you know what, it fucking works.

Give me Harry Potter who is like fucking MacGuyver up in this shit, creating his own non-magical solutions to magical problems.

“Potter how did you get past the enchanted keys to the Sorcerer’s Stone?”

“I used a fucking net.”

“How did you get past the dragon?”

Harry shines a little red light on the wall “works on cats, why not a dragon”

“How did you get through the hedge maze?”

“Weed-b-gone, it’s like a pound. Nothing will ever grow there again”

“How did you kill He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?”

“Shotgun.”

I’m crying

@charlotteisreading

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

starofthemourning:

kyraneko:

uncontinuous:

uncontinuous:

AU where Minerva McGonagall has a little less faith in Albus Dumbledore so she does agree to leave Harry at the Dursleys.

But then proceeds to move right in next door with her wife because Albus never said that she couldn’t.

So Harry grows up with two grandmalike aunties next door, who basically finnagle him into living with them in all but name. It’s great, until he gets to Hogwarts because he keeps accidentally calling McGonagall Aunt Min instead of Professor.

The more I think about this the better it gets because suddenly a small biracial orphan appearing on the Dursley’s doorstep is less scandalous and gossip worthy in the
pasty ass white suburbia of Privet Drive, when it’s compared to the elderly lesbian interracial couple who moved in next door.

Okay this has an amazing amount of potential for Harry, but I am very filled with curiosity about Minerva’s wife.

1) Who is she? and more importantly

2) How did this marriage come to pass?

I mean I am all for Minerva McGonagall having had a wife already at this juncture in her life, but consider 

1) Utter BAMF who is acknowledged to be out of everyone’s league Minerva McGonagall walking into a Ministry break room full of lady Aurors and the like and saying, “I have a child that needs looking after and a neighborhood full of prats who need scandalizing and will marry the first woman to say yes” and there is a moment’s shock and then the verbal equivalent of half a dozen bridesmaids diving for the bouquet with one clear winner who was a split second faster on the uptake and they end up in love by the time Harry is old enough to toddle properly.

2) The house next door is being sold by the daughter of its occupant who just inherited it and wants nothing to do with Little Whinging except to inflict herself on all the narrow-minded bastards long enough to get a good price for it; when Minerva walks in the door there is a mental adjustment that leaves her swooning (or maybe that’s Minerva) and after tea, dinner, and certain other activities she invites Minerva to live with her instead of selling it.

3) Minerva specifically tracks down the schoolmate she knows to be best at making stupid people regret everything, and asks her to pretend to be her wife, share a house in Little Whinging with her, and help keep an eye on Harry Potter. Both of them solidly overestimated their ability to keep the relationship fake.

@deadcatwithaflamethrower

I love the variants of this that have cropped up of late, it’s fantastic.

kyraneko:

penny-anna:

linguisticparadox:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Other arguments I imagine the Fellowship having:

1) Pippin professes atheism, argues so persuasively he somehow manages to get GANDALF to second guess himself for a split second

2) “what if we put the Ring in a catapult & launched it into Mount Doom from a distance”: dismissed as a serious plan very quickly due to high margin for error but the argument simmers for several days as Gandalf refuses to concede that it would work in theory. (Pippin also started this one.)

3) Who Started It: Legolas or Gimli edition

4) Who Started It: Merry or Pippin edition

5) Who ate the last *insert food item here* I know it was one of your four FESS UP (one time it was actually Gandalf, he never fessed up)

6) Legolas is mad at Gimli but whenever anyone asks why he just says ‘the dwarf knows what he did’ (Gimli hasn’t a clue)

7) who made Sam cry??

8) Relative attractiveness of beards


       i dont want ‘who made sam cry to be a common argument’
       but to be fair he cries a lot
       so the others might not even have done anything deliberately

Somebody made Sam cry one (1) time early on & after that every time he cries the entire company starts slinging accusations like there’s no tomorrow

Further thoughts:

1) although Pippin started the catapult argument the ppl who keep it going are Frodo and Boromir (both of whom were momentarily 100% down with it until they realised what a horrible idea it would be in practice, ie miss & the Ring is just lying about in Mordor for any orc to grab)

2) the beard argument:

pro-beards: gandalf, aragorn, boromir, gimli, pippin

anti-beards: legolas, merry, frodo, sam

  it’s all fun and games till one of the hobbits calls beards ‘unsightly’ and Gimi shoots back ‘that’s a bit rich coming from someone with that much fOOT HAIR’ and after that it is fucking ON and once the dust settles certain people don’t speak to certain other people for like 3 days

Sam: *bursts into tears because idk he just does that sometimes*

Frodo: For fuck’s sake Sam just yesterday you were crying about snakes.

Sam, bawling: They don’t have any arms Mr. Frodo!

Pippin: isn’t a dragon a snake with arms

Sam: *thinks about that for a moment*

Sam: *bursts into tears all over again*

Frodo: sam please

If you think about it the Fellowship is basically just a road trip without the car.

… Having said that, I need a LOTR Road Trip AU where it’s the nine of them packed into a 1971 Ford Bronco, trying to get to Washington DC with the One Ring which is proof that President Sauron is guilty of High Crimes and Misdemeanors, while being chased by this biker gang in Sauron’s employ, hunted by corrupt Sheriff Saruman (Gandalf’s old high school classmate), and at some point in time losing the Ring to the monkey in a diaper that they found wandering around a shopping mall in Cleveland, Ohio and Frodo insisted on adopting.

rrrebeccabee:

I started listening to a lute playlist the other day and then someone brought up The Road to El Dorado and lo, I was contractually obligated to doodle up a modern AU OT3 where Tulio and Miguel meet Chel during spring break and they all fall in love. 90% of this happens while Chel and Miguel team up to give Tulio shit about how he would happily spend his entire vacation in a hotel room unless they were around to drag him out.

I’m actually really pleased with the way this one came out, and I hope y’all enjoy it too!

ETA: I’m sorry if the main image is showing up blurry?? I don’t know how to internet, I guess.

Do you have any headcanons or ideas about a trans Obi Wan?

norcumi:

deadcatwithaflamethrower:

My dude, I have an entire PLUNNIE about transObi-Wan.

Obi-Wan was
born biologically female and decided while still in the creche, early in life,
that he had no business being a girl and being a boy was far more to his
tastes. The Jedi see enough species and differing genders that they were accommodating
to this desire: hormone treatments, clothing, full gender identity change—the only
thing they didn’t perform was the surgery Obi-Wan wanted, because it’s safer if
you’re fully grown before going under the knife. Obi-Wan was entirely fine with
that. His breasts are behaving themselves and remaining A-cups, thank you, and
he has an implant that means he isn’t inconveniently bleeding on an
inconvenient schedule.

That is,
Obi-Wan is fine with things right up until Qui-Gon gets himself killed and
saddles Obi-Wan with a Padawan. Now he doesn’t have time to go through the surgery and the recovery period, he has a
wild Anakin Skywalker on his hands.

There is no
avoiding telling Anakin, as they live in close quarters, but bitty Anakin just
blinks it off, shrugs, and wants to know why that matters. He was raised on the
Outer Rim in a port. This is not a new thing and is entirely cool, can we go
see Real Grass now? Real green grass is way more interesting than gender stuff.

Obi-Wan
shrugs, mutters under his breath, and just deals with it, because he promised
Qui-Gon a Knighted Anakin Skywalker. He’ll complete that task and then get the surgery, because he’d
like to be able to look at himself naked in the mirror and recognize the person
looking back at him.

But of
course, the universe is an asshole, and galactic civil WAR breaks out. Anakin
is Knighted, but they’re busy. He does not have time to recover from a surgery.
He doesn’t even have time to recover from the wounds he is receiving. Obi-Wan begins to wonder if the Republic supply
depots are spiking their food with stimulants just to keep them all upright.

The clones
are also totally fine with the
transgender thing. Obi-Wan discovers while speaking with Rex (in bed, because
that’s really the only time they have for anything resembling a conversation
not based on the war) that there are female
clones in the ranks, quietly living and doing their jobs as men because the
Kaminoans promised the Republic an army of Fett clones, so the girl deviations
had to conform.

This does
not please Obi-Wan. Or Anakin. or Plo Koon. Or any of the few remaining Jedi
who do not have their entire heads up their asses, spelunking through their own
intestines.

The female
clones get to grow their hair, if they want, and be referred to as their
preferred gender. Several of the male clones jump ship to be women; some of
them give no fucks; some of the women remain men; some of them really don’t
want to have to deal with gender anything,
can we just go blow shit up now??

Dooku dies.
Obi-Wan really doesn’t give a fuck that Anakin executed Dooku after the battle.
It’s a bit vicious, but not only has the Republic already declared in a Senate
session to execute Dooku as a traitor (which is…questionable) but Dooku has
tried to kill Obi-Wan so often that he rather enjoys the idea that Dooku won’t
ever try to kill him again. Either way, if they take down Grievous, then those
are the major military players. The war might be ending.

Obi-Wan
tries breaking his leg by kicking Grievous. Not his best moment, but he still
wins. They’re that much closer. He can feel
it.

Too bad he
was feeling the wrong thing. The Purges happen. Cody tries to kill him. The 501st
marches on the Temple and executes every living being inside.

Mustafar.
Anakin. Anakin who knelt before the Emperor and became Vader. Anakin tried to
kill Padme, and then does his best to kill Obi-Wan until Anakin proves he’s fucking nuts by taking that
leap from a lower position.

Obi-Wan has
no idea what is going on, or why his belly aches like Grievous kicked him (no,
he did not), or why Anakin suddenly went entirely mad.

He does not
have long to contemplate it. Right after he retrieves Padme and gets C-3PO to
pilot them off this horror-rock, he collapses.

R2-D2 takes
some time away from freaking out about Anakin losing his mind to mutter about
having two hapless idiots on his
hands. C-3PO can only carry one idiot at a time!

Padme does not die. Fuck that Losing
the Will to Live shit. Padme was Momma Bear incapsulated, taking on the entire
Republic, before she had kids. After? Man, she would fight the universe to see her kids safe.

Everything
at Polis Massa is great, except for the fact that Padme is giving birth to
twins (!??!) and a medic is telling Obi-Wan that he’s pregnant. (!!!!?!???)

Bail is kind
enough to help clean him up after Obi-Wan vomits in the ’fresher for about an
hour and a half. Then he asks who the baby’s father is.

Obi-Wan
pauses, thinking that Rex adores kids and so does Cody, and Cody will just
never stop teasing him over this—

He decides
he’s just going to keep dry-heaving for a while. It’s kinder than thinking
about any of them.

Then he goes
and tears a medic a new one because he has an implant, this can’t happen.

The medic
asks Obi-Wan when was the last time he had the implant swapped out. They only
last so long before their effectiveness at preventing this sort of thing begins
to deteriorate.

Polis Massa’s
walls echo with the shout of “FUCK!”

Padme has
twins. Luke and Leia. She’s feeding the baby girl when she asks Obi-Wan if he’s
going to abort the baby.

Obi-Wan
stares at her, because it hadn’t even occurred to him to do so. Most of the
known Force sensitives in the galaxy were just wiped out. He can’t bear the
thought of helping the Emperor succeed.

Fuck. Fuck,
this is not fair. Why can’t he put this fetus in an incubator to gestate like
at least five different sentient species he knows of just off the top of his
head? WHY?

Fine. FINE!
Obi-Wan is going to have a child while they’re on the run from the Empire, and
then he is going to have that fucking surgery or he will chew his way through duracrete.

Obi-Wan asks
Padme what it’s like to be pregnant. Padme looks at him, blinks a few times,
and then grimaces.

Duracrete
and durasteel, then.

Obi-Wan and Padme decide to hide from Vader together. Bail does
not get one of the twins. Padme listens to Yoda’s reasons, tells him he’s full
of shit, and tells Bail that there are so many war orphans to choose from,
Breha could raise an entire horde if she likes.

Bail looks
entirely too pleased by this idea. She almost feels sorry for his older
sisters, who have been nattering on for Bail and Breha to have children for
years.

Padme is the
one to suggest that they go to Tatooine. She can’t go home to Naboo, but at
least Tatooine has Anakin’s family. That is her brother-in-law and
father-in-law and—according to the last message she received, she now has a
sister-in-law in Beru Whitesun Lars as well.

Yoda
actually agrees that hiding on Tatooine is a fabulous idea; off you go, shoo,
shoo.

Obi-Wan did
not need that education in what happened on Tatooine with the Tusken Raiders.
He was heartbroken enough. This is almost worse.

Also, he
really was not expecting his father to have quit the Mid-Rim, moved to
Tatooine, and married Anakin’s mother. He is also entirely freaked out about
endangering these people—these near strangers,
no matter their blood—when Padme assures him that Anakin swore an actual blood
oath that he was never setting foot on Tatooine again. They both doubt that
Vader will suddenly forget that sort of vow just to go trolling for victims.

Owen is not okay with Obi-Wan being his brother
instead of his sister, especially with Obi-Wan pregnant but still saying he’s a
man. Obi-Wan tells him to sod off and grow up. Beru laughs when Owen turns
bright red and stomps out of the room.

Padme and
Cliegg assure Obi-Wan that yes, he is handling siblinghood correctly.

They find a
nice, remote farmstead that is larger than Obi-Wan’s quarters in the Temple.
Which is…kind of pathetic, actually. Cliegg and Owen (after Beru threatens her
husband with castration) help to build additional rooms onto the place so that
they have bedrooms for each of them. Obi-Wan and Padme might tell people that
they’re spouses, but Obi-Wan does not want to be anything except Padme’s
friend. Padme is struggling to grieve while also being bright and happy for
twin babies who are far too sensitive for their own good. Obi-Wan is trying to
figure out how to anchor himself back to existence.

The last
room to be built is a nursery for the twins. Obi-Wan stares often at that third
cradle, waiting for a new baby, and wonders what in the entire fuck happened to
his life. He can’t grow a beard right now to save his life because his estrogen
levels are overcompensating after years of being suppressed, his breasts are
larger (FUCK), and he is starting to waddle like the pregnant man he is.

Thank the
Force that Beru loves children and all but moves in with them to babysit as
often as possible. They might have lost their minds that first year without
her.

On the day
Obi-Wan’s daughter is born, he finally sees Qui-Gon’s ghost for the first time.

Unfortunately
for the asshole who up and died on him, it’s during labor. Obi-Wan throws
everything within reach at the ghost, because HOW DARE HE and THIS IS YOUR IDEA
OF TIMING? while Padme holds his hand and tries not to giggle as Obi-Wan
apparently destresses by yelling at a figment of his imagination.

Obi-Wan
names his little girl Anna. Ani for short.

After nearly
a year of holding tight to her grief, Padme finally breaks down and sobs.

EXCUSE ME I WAS USING THOSE FEELS!!!! And holy CARP I desperately hope someone adopts this because AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH SO! MANY! FEELS! AND! AWESOMENESS!