I wish I knew the exact time and date that harry told snape ‘there’s no need to call me sir professor’ so that I could take a moment of silence to remember the moment each year
Judging from the context of the chapter…
We know that it’s September 2nd. I’d put it between 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM. (They have breakfast and then a free period. They have Snape’s class before their break, which was before their lunch.)
But in the UK first period typically only starts at 9 AM. So free period from around 9-10 AM and Snapes class from 10-11 AM I’d say.
Okay so 10am-11am every September 2nd is now an hour dedicated to remembering the most glorious piece of dialogue ever spoken by a fictional character
ok this just appeared on my blog with ample time for you all to prepare because apparently I stumbled across it months ago, and scheduled it to post on september first. executive function TRIUMPH!!!!!!!
Worth noting that tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of the greatest burn in history
ok so, for people who have seen the LOTR films but not read the book I’d like to share some things that are 100% canon:
– Sam Gamgee uses the word ‘boner’. In a song. Several times.
– he also writes a poem that contains the phrase ‘golden showers’. (this is actually in the extended cut but they changed it to ‘silver showers’)
– at one point after he’s defeated Saruman steals Merry’s weed & runs away
– Denethor has actual mindreading powers
– so does Faramir (but he’s a nice person so they manifest more as heightened empathy)
– Gandalf ALSO has mindreading powers but for entirely different reasons. he reads Frodo’s mind while he’s sleeping at one point, casually reveals this to Frodo, and Frodo’s just like ‘huh neat’
– rather than bravely drawing the orcs away from Frodo like in the film, in the book Merry and Pippin just kind of, panic, bolt into the woods, and run directly into the orcs’ arms.
– Merry then draws his sword and hacks a bunch of orc hands off
– Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli name themselves ‘the three hunters’ before setting off to rescue Merry and Pippin because they are dorks
– they also improvise a whole song about how much they loved Boromir
– Aragorn does not initially tell the hobbits he’s a friend of Gandalf bcos he wanted them to like him for who he is. im not kidding. he openly admits to this.
– i feel like this is fairly well known but, if you didn’t know Frodo is 50 years old and looks 33
– hobbits PROBABLY age different to humans so looking 33 in practice means he looks about 21
– in accordance with the above Pippin is the equivalent of a 16-17 year old human
– Pippin can pass for a human child and looks like ‘a boy of nine summers’
– this isn’t that weird i just think it’s really cute: Pippin has 3 older sisters and their names are Pearl, Pimpernel and Pervinca.
– Sam & Rosie have 13 children. One of them is called Goldilocks.
– Frodo has another best friend. His name is Fatty. He stayed behind in the Shire to cover for Frodo’s absence and ends up getting jailed for months by Saruman’s forces.
– Lobelia Sackville-Baggins, who steals spoons, is also jailed by Saruman. (She whacked one of his goons with an umbrella.)
– Grima Wormtongue MAY have eaten an entire hobbit
– Saruman invades the Shire and turns it into a communist hell police state.
– the whole Tom Bombadil thing is common knowledge but if you haven’t read the book i guarantee you he is weirder than you think.
– to give just 2 examples: 1) the whole tom bombadil arc provides the explanation as to how Eowyn and Merry were able to dispatch the Witch King
– and 2) for unknown reasons sleeping in his house causes everyone to have horrible nightmares… EXCEPT for Sam who has a peaceful and dreamless night. no explanation offered for any of this.
considering that Pippin’s dad is named Paladin, you fucking know he claimed the right to name each and every one of his children and his poor wife just begged him to choose a different letter to start with
also aragorn openly admitting to being fucking lonely and just wanting friends is treated like a weirdly funny joke in the book by the way that some of the hobbits react to it, and frodo also proceeds very soon after to basically tell aragorn that he’s pretty foul-looking but seems a good guy
yes to the above & a small correction + one i forgot:
– Merry does in fact gift Saruman the weed. It’s the bag it’s in that Saruman steals and runs off with. (also give that Merry stole the weed from Saruman’s personal supply in the first place i can’t say i blame him)
– Aragorn literally has magical healing powers. i don’t think they ever explain this in the films but he does very much have healing powers.
– the Ents are able to tear down the entire wall around Isengard, but can for whatever reason not make a single dent in the tower of Orthanc itself
– several riders knew that Merry was there and coming with them to the fields of Pelennor even though he was forbidden to do so, and they just sort of shrug and don’t tell the king
– GOD Merry and the riders: they don’t just shrug they straight up act like he isn’t there. to the point where if he talks they just pretend like they don’t hear him. this hurts his feelings.
– Merry doesn’t recognise Eowyn until she reveals herself to the witch-king. it could be that her disguise is just that good but Eowyn herself seems to be kind of surprised that he doesn’t recognise her so it’s possible he’s just a dumbass.
– Pippin goes all in for a suicide mission at the Black Gate because he thinks that Frodo and Sam are captured and/or dead and everything is lost anyway, so he just decides that if he’s going to die, he’s going to die fighting, and then he almost gets squashed by a troll
– Gimli found Pippin underneath said troll after the battle, only because Pippin’s fucking foot was sticking out, and probably had a bit of a panicky moment while he was MOVING the troll to drag Pippin out of there
– i can’t believe i forgot about the troll: Pippin single-handedly slays a troll & then its body falls on him and he’s just lying there like ‘well i guess this is how i die’
– Gimli 100% thought pippin was dead when he found him and was so distraught he almost ripped his beard out
– There’s also Aragorn making the Mouth of Sauron flee with terror because he glared at him. Not a joke. (An argument can be made here for Aragorn having psychic powers)
Or intimidation proficiency
If I may add…
– Legolas falling out of a tree and screaming.
– Legolas dropping hie bow. And screaming.
– Legolas just screamed. A lot.
– Legolas singing a song that he only knew half of.
– “Do what you will in your madness but I wish to see no eyes!”
– Legolas straight up walking away after a battle and singing
– Legolas sneaking Gimli into Valinor like contraband Twizzlers into the movie theater.
FINALLY receiving some validation for my Catholic Boba Fett headcanon !
I…..
who wrote the book.
Daniel Keys Moran, it’s from a collection of stories called “Tales of the Bounty Hunters”
I am SO happy with Catholic Boba. I am SO pleased that Boba Fett is a PAPAL LOYALIST. Thank GOD (And the Pope) For this.
Okay, but can we just appreciate the fact that this scene is Boba being handed Leia in her slave outfit to rape as a gift from Jabba the Hutt, and Boba’s response is not only to refuse touching her but handing her a sheet to cover herself and even offering that she can sleep on the bed while he sits in a chair across the room?
Boba tells Leia, “Sex between those not married is immoral,” which is a Mandalorian cultural thing
because children are everything to Mandos and sex which might result in
pregnancy is a big no-no unless both parents are ready and willing to
raise that child; marriage to Mandalorians is two people making a mutual promise to help each other, particularly helping each other raise any children they might conceive or adopt (adoption happens a lot in the heat of the moment, apparently; it canonically appears to be a bigger risk than unplanned pregnancy – “whoops, honey, I accidentally adopted this kid I found on the battlefield” “oh. well. we knew that might happen having unprotected combat and all”).
It just says a lot about Boba, and Mandalorians in general, that they’re big buff armoured warrior types who apparently canonically have a very strong cultural bias for responsible sex. I mean, how many times do we see the fantasy/sci-fi warrior soldier stereotype = rape, or at the very least coercive sex, in pop culture? In so many movies and comics and novels, the female heroine/hero’s woman is captured by bad guys and offered as a “gift” to some big hunk of a warrior/gladiator/what have you who either does whatever he wants with her (explicitly on screen or implied off-screen by her ruined makeup and torn dress) to further the hero’s rescue-and/or-revenge-journey or maybe seduces her with his ~manliness~ and huge muscles/weapons even while there’s still that element of power imbalance as she surrenders helplessly to the ~instinctive urge~ to mate with the alpha male. Sex, or they-were-going-to-but-last-minute-interruption/rescue, is the inevitable outcome of a sci-fi/fantasy woman in a gold bikini being shoved into a soldier/warrior/gladiator dude’s quarters/cave/den/hovel.
And Leia is genre savvy and knows this. She fully expects Boba to rape her, and says as much. But his response to her threatening to kill him or kill herself if he touches her is just “woah there, lady, have we entered a culturally binding contract to conceive and raise children? no, we have not. so don’t flatter yourself thinking I’ll get my gametes anywhere near your uterus, thank you very much!” And Leia is a bit offended and wrong-footed, telling him “um, rape is immoral too, y’know,” but Boba just dismisses it all, “well, yes, rape is bad, but like it’s so far off the table here that it’s basically a non sequitur, why would I rape you when I don’t even want to have consensual sex with you, come on.”
I just love the fact that in Mando culture, consensual sex is EVERYTHING, it’s even CONTRACTUALISED. You know how all those MRA anti-feminists are all up in arms about movements like #MeToo and whining about how totally unreasonable it is to expect everyone involved to consent to sex, what, do femi-nazis want everyone to fill out consent forms before sex haha how ridiculous – and then we have Mandalorians, the most alpha of alpha people of all genders, all fake nerd boy incels’ epitome of badassness, literally contractualising consent. Boba Fett, pop-cult bad guy extraordinaire, not only refusing to rape Leia in her slave costume (unlike every single incel in the world who has masturbated to that scene of her on her knees in chains) but being genuinely offended at the thought of having sex with someone without pledging himself fully to her safety and welfare.
This short story was the moment I fell in love with the EU’s Boba Fett and Mandalorians in general. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.
This is amazing, I had no idea of the context! Thank you for writing this!
@cinlat and @kunoichi-ume this is kind of confusing to me in the respect that I’d also heard folks make mention of things like “what happens at Mandalorian parties, stays at Mandalorian parties”, obviously consent still being a thing…it’s the “before marriage” or “outside of marriage” thing I’m confused on. Because clearly you -can- have sex without the intent on having children. I defer to your knowledge of Mando culture…
Okay, so here’s my take on it.
I’m going to break this down to the best of my ability, bearing in mind that I focus more on the Old Republic (some what, 3000 years before this scene takes place?) Firstly, rape wasn’t an acceptable means of celebration within Mandalorian culture not because they were virgins/committed to their spouse, but because Mandalorians don’t recognize a “Lesser sex”. Women were not tools or property, but fellow warriors. There were not men and women, only Mandalorians and everyone else. Does that mean rapists didn’t exist within their culture? Of course not. Glad to know Boba wasn’t one of them.
Secondly, and the thing @melissagt asked about, was the virginal troupe. Considering how low key of a guy Boba was, I’m not surprised that he held this viewpoint. He had bigger things on his mind than sex and wasn’t raised by a clan. He had his father, who he lost at a young age, then various vagabonds and roughians who took him in after that. Boba didn’t rejoin the mando culture (to the best of my knowledge, again, not a Boba expert) until he was grown. He’s a man who’s formed opinions from experience and exposure.
Thirdly, if you consider that the average age of marriage for a Mandalorian was around sixteen, it wouldn’t be hard to imagine them as virgins. But, that leads into the fidelity of marriage question. War is long. Not only were children adopted on the battlefield, they were sired on it. Not from unwilling partners but from curiosity and general lust. If said man or woman produced offspring, they were honor bound to bring that child home and raise them as Mandalorians. I haven’t come across a single case of jealousy from the other partner because guess what? The war was long for them too. They weren’t just sitting at home pining, they found outlets as well. The mando marriage vows say nothing about fidelity within marriage, merely that their spouse holds their heart, soul, and respect forever. It’s a declaration of the highest love.
I’m not saying there weren’t faithful Mandalorians any more than I think the whole culture respected the consent of others. Merely that was what they held to as a common belief within their race. I commend Boba for his outlook of life and it should never have been expected that he’d rape Leia, so not really a high five moment in my opinion. But, I’ve seen too much to the contrary to believe “no sex outside of marriage” was a common Mando belief. Maybe in the future? Like I said, I’m much less familiar with that time period, but definitely not in the Old Republic.
In The Road to El Dorado there is only really one inexplicable thing within the plot. Miguel and Tulio plausibly bluff their way through or slip out of most situations. However, I’d never figured out why the volcano actually stops erupting when Tulio commands it.
The conclusion I finally came up with is that the actual gods were watching their big entrance go down, and thought “oh, this’ll be hilarious”
The actual reason for this was that the armadillo seen following them was intended to be AN ACTUAL GOD in the original script, but it was scratched during production. You can see during the eruption that the volcano stops erupting the same second the armadillo stops playing and starts paying attention to it. So in summary, armadillo is God, producers decide to not change the plot and leave all the godly armadillo things instead without actually saying that the armadillo is behind it.
Molly and Arthur Weasley raised seven kids on one government salary.
Molly and Arthur Weasley raised those seven children to be courageous and loyal and kind.
Molly and Arthur Weasley were purebloods who made it a point to be known as “the biggest blood traitors there are”.
Molly and Arthur Weasley raised Fred and George during their accidental magic stages without letting the house burn down.
Molly and Arthur Weasley treated Harry as their own child, not because of his fame, but because he was Ron’s friend and he was in desperate need of a family.
Molly and Arthur Weasley made sure that everyone who entered their home felt loved and cared for and well fed.
Molly and Arthur Weasley won money and spent it on a family trip to see their son and help their daughter out of the depression she was sinking into.
Molly and Arthur Weasley sent Easter eggs and Christmas sweaters and fudge to their children while making sure to include enough for friends.
Molly and Arthur Weasley went out of their way to secure two tickets to the Quidditch World Cup on top of the eight for their own family, just to ensure that Hermione and Harry were included.
Molly and Arthur Weasley warned Harry about Sirius Black and tried to keep him with them after Voldemort’s return and tried to shield him from Order business because they remembered how young he was, how utterly unfair it was for the world to expect so much from him.
Molly and Arthur Weasley are so damn important.
Arthur Weasley was supposed to die and JK Rowling couldn’t bring herself to kill him because he was the only living example in the entire series of a good father.
Molly Weasley made Harry eat third helpings of every meal, despite how difficult it may have been for their family just to put food on the table, because she knew that his guardians often deprived him of meals as punishment.
supervillains fucking hate fighting the x-men because the teams change constantly and sometimes there are??? totally new people there???? fuck there’s a teenager who literally just has eyes all over his body. is he even technically a superhero yet or is he a student. who the fuck knows. how do we counter this shit
When one seems completely non-mutated and they’re like
And no matter which team it is, Wolverine is there. Is it the future? Wolverine is there. Is it an alternate reality? Wolverine is there. Is Wolverine dead? Wolverine is there.
Was Wolverine never born in this alternate reality? Wolverine is there.
Does Wolverine only exist as a non corporeal spirit? Wolverine is there.
Is Wolverine only a philosophical construct used to explain our place in an uncaring universe? Wolverine is there.
Is Wolverine only a theological concept used to explain mankind’s struggle against the universe? Wolverine is there.
Is Wolverine there? Another Wolverine is also there.
And let’s not forget when the villains just switch sides. Last week this guy was on your side now he’s next to Wolverine and kicking your ass.
wupacing 