Dear Fellow Guys….stop hitting on women at work. Let me explain.

chiribomb:

ms-demeanor:

seriesofnonsequiturs:

blue-author:

evilcoyote:

theblackoaksyndicate:

So i work as your friendly underpaid barista and currently we’re having problems with one of our regulars hitting on our women staff members. The first woman he hit one, he wrote a note to her….as in elementary school note passing. Now of course, she’s at work and the model in f&b and retail is that you do everything in your power not to piss off the guest.

So in hopes of not causing a scene, she kindly wrote on the note that she appreciate the interest but she’s a lesbian. Now, 1) she shouldn’t have to out herself to a complete stranger all to avoid a bad yelp review. 2) She shouldn’t be forced into a situation where she has to entertain a guests unwanted attentions to avoid at the least, a negative review on yelp. 

So once she passes this dude the note, he then starts jokingly exclaiming “I always fall for lesbians” in the middle of our cozy cafe, effectively outing her to anyone within earshot. Now my co-worker isn’t closeted, she’s out and proud etc, etc. However, that doesn’t give someone else the right to disclose her sexuality without her permission, and especially not after he effectively coerced her into outing herself in order to avoid his come-ons.  

Another one of our regular guests, hits on one of our baristas on a regular basis. No matter how much she casually brings up her boyfriend. It’s gotten so bad that I’ve had to literally stand in front of her so he can’t force eye-contact with her (Naturally we do this kind of thing in a low-key manner so that we don’t actively piss off guest and thus put our jobs at risk).

I’ve had to actively shut down people on behalf of my women co-workers (Nah dude, she’s seeing someone. She’s not interested in that sort of thing. Dude, chill out.) because they simply can’t understand the fact that they are at their jobs and simply just want to get their jobs done and go home. Stop taking advantage of the unequal power dynamics to force her to engage you. She’s seem nice? Of course she is, her job revolves around being nice. She seemed into you? No, I can promise she’s not, she’s doing her job and told me five minutes ago how you were clearly staring down her chest. 

“But how am I supposed to let her no I’m interested in her?” you might say. My answer, that’s not my fucking concern. There are plenty of opportunities to meet people in this world that don’t revolve around you forcing them into an uncomfortable position while they’re literally trying to earn a living. Not every person your interested in obligated to entertain that interest. 

Simply put, stop being goddam creepers and let people do their goddamn jobs. 

Fuck off. Some of us have a hard enough time talking to people without shitheads like you guilting us over it.

No one’s guilting you over anything. The point of this post is for you to stop doing it, not to do it and feel guilty.

If you feel awkward hitting on someone who’s not in a position where she can safely be honest with you or leave if you make her uncomfortable, that’s good. Listen to that awkward feeling. It’s telling you that you’re transgressing a boundary.

Now, if you feel like you’re always awkward and always crossing a boundary, then posts like this should be a gold mine. It’s telling you in clear terms where boundaries actually exist and why.

Story time:

There was this dude I knew through a monthly infosec meeting. He knew me and my fiancee and my friends through this meeting and he started coming to the coffee shop while I was working. He took a shine to one of my coworkers. He started asking me when she would be on shift and when I wouldn’t tell him he started showing up every night just in case. So she took on afternoon shifts and he started showing up in the afternoons. So she took morning shifts and he started showing up in the morning. So she started taking random shifts and he started showing up all day, from four thirty am when we opened until close at one am.

The thing is, while this is creepy in hindsight he wasn’t doing anything overtly creepy. The shop billed itself as “Smalltown’s Living Room” and there were a few regulars who hung out all day. And this guy bought endless iced teas and ate all his meals off our menu and bought ice cream for regulars and tipped extravagantly. He must have been spending close to a hundred dollars a day at the shop and never did anything beyond placing his order, chatting for a minute, and sitting in a chair where he could always watch the counter. Sometimes he’d talk to me after I locked up and asked if she liked him and ask me how he could get him to like her and no amount of “dude, it’s not going to happen, she’s not interested” could convince him. “But she’s so nice to me,” he’d say, “she smiles when she sees me and listens when I talk to her. No other girls do that for me.”

The owner felt a little hogtied by the whole thing – the guy hadn’t DONE anything, except spend more money than my coworkers and I made on a shift each day to have the opportunity to see her. At least five hundred a week on product. Almost the payroll of a full-time employee every week. And there was always a ten or a twenty from him in the tip jar at the end of every shift – five or ten dollars that represented about an extra hour’s worth of labor to everyone working there. So my co-worker and I felt bad too – he wasn’t really being THAT creepy, was it worth it to deprive our other co-workers of this extra income? (Spoilers: yes)

After a couple months of this (and yes, it was terrible that it went on for that long) my coworker got a better-paying, stalker-free job at her university and nobody was happier for her than me. It was my stupid bullshit that had infected her life and if I hadn’t told this acquaintance to swing by the coffee shop sometime she wouldn’t have had to deal with being scared and tense and having to hold a brittle smile every day at work just so that five or ten would reliably show up, so that someone’s hours wouldn’t get cut because of the dip in sales.

And when she left this guy was crushed. Didn’t show up for a month. Then he started coming in again. Started talking to me about how heartbroken he was, hanging out for my entire shift and thanking me for being such a good listener and marveling over the fact that my fiancee, his friend didn’t appreciate me the way I deserved. He’d follow me out on my lunch break and sit at my table. Eventually I went to the Smalltown Police Department and asked what I would need for a restraining order.

“Well, have you told him in clear words that he is not to speak to you and to leave you alone?”

“I can’t, he’s a customer and he only speaks to me in front of other customers.”

“Well, unless you tell him to cut off contact and he violates that there’s nothing we can do.”

And that was the real nastiness of this trick – always being in front of other customers. When you’re on register you can’t tell a customer never to speak to you again then casually move on to the next person in line. When you’re getting a muffin out of the pastry case you can’t tell a customer “go away and never come back” in front of some soccer mom who believes the customer is always right. You can drown someone out with a blender or an espresso machine, but only temporarily. There was a cubbyhole where we put our purses under the register – eventually it got to the point that if I saw him through the windows I’d let my coworker know then crawl into it to hide. Sometimes I’d spend half a shift doing dishes and making sandwiches in the back where he couldn’t follow me. At least we’d never run out of clean mugs, right?

It was too much. I told my fiancee and a couple other infosec friends what he was doing. He’d stopped coming to the meetings months before over a tiff with another dude so they weren’t seeing him. The had jobs to go to, they didn’t have the time to sit at a coffee shop with me all day. So they took a day off work in the middle of the week and when this guy followed me outside on my lunchbreak I texted them that he was there with me. I didn’t respond to anything that he said during that lunch, I only said “I don’t want to talk to you anymore, please leave me alone.” I said it quietly, but I said it in clear words, per what the police department had told me. He continued to talk while I continued to look at my book and try to eat my food when my fiancee and his friend showed up and joined us at the table. My fiancee (who is, by the way, over six and a half feet tall and built like a fridge) sat down next to him, our other friend sat down on the other side. They both very casually asked what he’d been up to recently. He didn’t say anything, just bit his lip, glared at me, and stormed off. He never came back to the coffee shop.

He DID email a friend of mine to rage about how I’d broken his heart and lied to him and misled him and sent mixed signals – how it was so nasty and two-faced to be smiling and nice one minute and turn on him the next, how he thought we had a connection, and why would I spend so much time listening to him and laughing at his jokes and smiling at him otherwise?

For two months nothing happened, then he showed up at the infosec meeting and as my fiancee and I were getting into the car to leave he charged at us and started trying to hit my (once again, goddamned enormous) fiancee and trying to push past him to come at me. This guy was about five ten and not terribly strong, and while we were scared we didn’t want to fucking KILL him, so my fiancee just sort of knocked him down instead of having a serious fight. The guy got into his car, rushed around  bunch of us in the parking lot, which was genuinely terrifying because we thought he might try to run someone over, then sped away into the night. We called the cops to file a report of assault. The cops didn’t want to talk to me, said I wasn’t involved in the altercation. They took a statement from my fiancee and two other guys who had been in the parking lot, then took down my number and a note that I claimed he’d been “close” to me. I told them he’d been harassing me but they just said that it wasn’t harassment if he just showed up at my job and didn’t actually DO anything.

Well, it turns out that while we were making our report this guy had driven to our friend’s house and rammed the house repeatedly with his Honda. He completely caved in the garage and tried to charge the living room but was stopped by a reinforced concrete wall. When the cops showed up there he was on the lawn raging about how we were all against him and trying to control him.

I missed all my classes the next day because I went to my college campus police department and said I needed a restraining order. I explained what had happened and their first question was how long I had dated the guy. Why did he think we were dating if I hadn’t been flirting with him? Had I led him on or tried to make it seem like I was interested in him? They escorted me to the women’s violence prevention center on campus and I spent approximately six hours filling out paperwork before the director of the center drove me to the county courthouse and made sure I was granted a temporary restraining order that day. It was made more difficult because I only knew this guy’s first name. At every step I had to reach out to my infosec friends or my fiancee to ask for his address, to check the spelling of his name, to confirm the make and model of his vehicle. This guy had chased my coworker out of a job, been showing up on every one of my shifts for months, and I didn’t know anything about him because to me he was just a customer who was an annoyance that had become a threat. But in his head I was the nice girl he’d had a meet-cute with at a fucking hacker hangout who blossomed into a romance in the goddamned coffee-shop AU he was scripting in his imagination, who spurned this rich, considerate, shy boy in favor of her lunk of a boyfriend who wasn’t good enough for her. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to explain a fifteen-year-old gray-hat hacker meetup to a judge in a way that doesn’t make it sound like you’re selling heroin? Calling it a professional infosec networking group didn’t work well enough to include it on the list of places on my restraining order. He couldn’t come to my coffee shop, my home, or my school but was free to return to the meeting where he’d attacked us that was full of my friends who DIDN’T have restraining orders so long as he left when I showed up.

I hate coffee-shop AUs, in case that isn’t clear. It perpetuates this idea that the person behind the counter is your ONE if only you’re persistent and sweet and generous and bashful enough to keep forcing them to endure your presence in their place of employment.

Look, it sounds fucking shitty to say it but most customer service jobs can be accomplished by machines. Automated phone trees can take the place of receptionists, you can get a latte as good as anything you’d get from a Starbucks out of a machine, cashiers can be replaced by self-checkout. Even bartenders can be replaced by some tubes and buttons if you have enough money to burn. The reason customer service still exists is because it is emotional labor that the customer is paying for. An automated phone tree can’t reassure you that it’ll pass your message along just as soon as possible and that we’ll make sure the tech gets back to you. An automated espresso machine won’t smile at you and ask if you’re having a good day. A self-checkout doesn’t make small talk about how great that ice-cream is or how nice the day is outside. A drink machine may be able to listen to your problems but it won’t say “I feel you,” and tell a funny story to make you feel better. We live in the fucking future, almost everything you could want can be accomplished with an machine an a cellphone. If you’re interacting with a human it’s because you want to interact with a human and you want that human to be nice to you. You are paying for their kindness, for their smiles when their feet hurt and their questions about your day when they haven’t had lunch yet.

Flirting with customer service workers at work, asking them out when they’re on the clock and paid to make you happy, telling them you think they’re attractive and expecting a gushing response – that’s breaking the rules. That’s a lose-lose situation that you’ve set them up for. If they continue to do their job and be nice to you they’re “leading you on” and if they react negatively and ask you to leave or to not speak to them that way it’s “bad customer service.”

A good rule of thumb if you’re thinking about asking someone out or flirting with them is to ask yourself this question: “if do this thing and it makes them uncomfortable can they leave this place without it impacting their livelihood?”

If the answer is “no” and you do it anyway you’re a jackass. That person is trapped. You have cornered them. You have put your desire to flirt with them over their ability to earn a living.

“Oh good, I’ll do it now, when they can’t get away” is not an effective dating strategy. It’s abusive, it’s creepy, and nobody is well-paid enough to put up with unwanted sexual or romantic advances while they’re trying to do their job.

Don’t pull this shit.

This is way more common than guys want to admit. Ask any girl who’s worked in customer service and they’ll have stories of it happening to them or their friends.

One girl at my work had a guy come in a couple times and hang around her, telling her she’s pretty and does she have a boyfriend, and asking when she’d be in when she wasn’t there. He was in his 30s or 40s; she was 16. She can’t just walk away or leave, because she’s at work. It’s terrifying, because you never know if a creep is waiting for you to get off your shift and follow you to your car.

I had an older guy see me through the window and come in to make small talk with me, asking me my name and my birthday and weird stuff I don’t want to tell strangers. I kept trying to smile and ask if he needed help finding anything and otherwise hint that the conversation was over, but he didn’t get it. I was on the register so I couldn’t even go walk to another part of the store. I was shaking.

Guys who do this don’t even realize they’re being creepy and that’s exactly the problem. In their heads, they’re the good guys, and the girl is a bitch, or her boyfriend’s a loser, and they’re the real victims. So let’s make it clear here. It is always creepy. You are a creep. You are overstepping. She can’t tell you to fuck off.

we-are-not-amoosed:

garrettauthor:

concerningwolves:

letsboldlygomotherfuckers:

rockpaperscissorsgun:

emilyelizabethfowl:

thebritishteapot:

spacecores:

youlovelucie:

artwlw:

diyozas:

adventurotica:

three-course-dessert:

runicbinary:

la-mancha-screwjob:

sugar4ndroses:

narwhalsarefalling:

starlightandcrimescenes:

gin-and-eschatonic:

agrestenoir:

commanderfraya:

icouldwritebooks:

mirab3lle:

thomrainierskies:

mugsandpugs1:

hermionegranger:

autisticcole:

debrides:

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy – ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”

we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

i live for stories like these

i work with kids, one time i came back from a long shift and ended up (successfully) telling my dad to “Stop it.” in the most commanding tone i have ever heard when he was being loud at dinner. i have never felt so mortified yet so powerful.

I’m a cinematographer and I was sharing a room with a friend while we were shooting my last film and I woke him up yelling “I just don’t understand what you want from this shot”

A few weeks ago while I was writing a very intense scene, my dad asked me if I wanted a cup of tea, startling me so badly that I yelled the line I was about to type at him instead of my usual “Yeah, ta.”

That line was “Tell me what the fuck I just broke my nose for or we’re not going anywhere!”

HOT POINTS in an empty garage.

I worked in retail in Britain before I worked a similar job in Germany. The first few days were a language confusion mess.

heathyr:

What kind of customer service voice are you?

The Sweet Southerner

  • heavy southern accent (genuine or put-upon), super candy sweet tone that will give the customer cavities
  • “honey” “y’all” “ain’t” “oh my goodness” “you’re very welcome hun”

1920s Pep & Charm

  • talking like you’re the owner of the local sodafountain (or john mulaney)
  • “by golly” “attaboy” “why/yes of course!” “yep/yeppers!”

The Helpful Dude

  • very casual yet earnest language, cali surfer aesthetic
  • “yeah man” “i got you dude” “cool cool cool” “no prob” “uhhhh”

Dealing With a Baby Boomer

  • very confident professional language in case they think you’re not qualified, no contractions, avoiding “uhhh” or “ummm,” faking that you checked with your supervisor and give them the exact same info you gave them before
  • “yes ma’am/sir” or just “yes/no” “you’re welcome” “one moment please”

I Am The Manager

  • all kinds of authority in tone, almost euphoric in nature while also being polite even though they’re yelling on the other end of the line/counter
  • 🙂 I AM THE MANAGER 🙂

Present But Mentally Done

  • lots of paralanguage, for example “mhm” “mmm” “uhhhh” *sigh*
  • flat speech, tired, is present but not really wanting to help or be here at all, may sound a little drunk but not actually drunk. just tired

Sympathetic Sally

  • tone of voice so caring that it could put a therapist to shame, wanting to help, on the customer’s side
  • “oh i am SO sorry about that” “let’s see what we can do!” “this is how i can help you” “i apologize profusely”

Military Background

  • very short responses, no-nonsense tone with minimal emotion, uses military alphabet to spell things, keeps conversation as fast and efficient as possible
  • “yes/no” “affirmative” “i can do that” 

There’s Nothing I Don’t Know

  • super confident, everything you say sounds like The Law, customers are almost intimidated by your knowledge
  • “according to our policy” “there is a fee for…” “your coupon is expired, no exceptions”

I Know Nothing

  • taking messages is your forte, unsure sounding tone, deflecting responsibility
  • “i can take a message and contact my supervisor” “let me confirm and get back to you” “i’ll get my manager”

And lastly,

The Millenial:

No Problem 🙂

cawcawoedipus:

mamamichine:

socialistexan:

lake–verity:

theryanproject:

buttcheekpalmkang:

ski-mvsk-mxbbin:

thelovelybones124:

This shit used to hurt me so much. Now when I go shopping I don’t even touch shit unless I know I want it lol cus I know that pain

i’m that person you see folding something and putting it back after i’ve looked at it lol

^^^ And if I can’t fold it back perfectly they’re gonna at least see that I tried.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

All.of.this

Worked in retail almost half a decade, and let me tell y’all this is daily, not just Black Friday or summer sales.

I’ve had people look me straight in the eyes while they knock over a perfectly folded stack of shirts off a table so they could put down their Starbucks cup. People leave food, drinks, diapers, used pads and bandages, even one time an actual syringe on tables.

I’ve had people destroy entire displays and complain about how dirty and “why don’t employees respect their own store” while I was directly next to them frantically trying to fix what they, themselves, just messed up.

This shit is so ingrained in me now that I fixed displays while on vacation in Disney World for a full half hour.

And before anyone says anything, no, actually picking up after grown adults that should know better, it actually isn’t my job to clean up after you all day. We have customer service, check for product, work the registers, keep the bathrooms clean, deal with angry customers, try to prevent shop lifting, and keep the store running. Recovery (fixing displays) is supposed to be low on our list because people aren’t supposed to be selfish shitheads. If you wouldn’t destroy your friend’s house, don’t destroy retail shops.

I’ve literally had people ask me if I work at several stores before because I’m cleaning up after myself??? like they are asking me for help and I’m like “idk I don’t work here” then they are like “then why are you cleaning?”

It’s,,, basic manners,,, to clean after yourself,,, what is wrong with people,,,

smallest-feeblest-boggart:

gallusrostromegalus:

youeitherskateoryoudie:

28-larry:

youeitherskateoryoudie:

i hate when ur in public somewhere and something goes mildly wrong/something inconvenient happens and the nearest baby boomer tries to get you to complain with them

what does this even mean

EXAMPLE:

you are in line at mcdonalds. its really busy and the employees are overwhelmed. it’s taking a long time. you are minding your own business. the old man in line next to you says to you, “boy, this is absolutely ridiculous, isn’t it? these kids working just dont know what they’re doing. Or they just dont care…” you awkwardly nod and take a step to the side

This has probably been said a million times before but:  Defend the employees.

Really, you’re never going to see Karen from Stubenville again in your life, so side-eye her real good and say:

“It’s not thier fault they’re understaffed. Having worked retail before, they’d love to have another three or five people back there helping out.  But since the whole ‘downsizing’ craze of the ninties, companies try to get as much out of thier employees as possible without regard for thier welfare, or the effect on service.  You should really get on McD’s website and complain about the chronic understaffing and tell them you’re willing to pay more elsewhere for better service.  They LISTEN to people like you.”

People love to complain, especially entitled people.  The good news is that they’re easily redirected with mild praise and a shiny new target.  Butter the elders and aim them at the bourgoise.

aim them at the bourgeoisie

unfortunate-waitress:

hello-its-a-jo:

unfortunate-waitress:

If i’m telling you, “this is a hot plate.” But I make no effort to put it down, i’m internally yelling at you to move your shit. Your phone. Your keys. Your bread. Whatever is directly in front of you is from that point on is now classified as your shit. The shit you are suddenly responsibly for and I am burning my hands for. Move your shit. I’m not going to move it for you.

Shoutout to the people who see me approaching with their food and immediately start clearing the way for me. You are the real MVPs. You know what’s up. You understand.

As for everybody else. Move. Your. Shit.

Me

We see that and we respect the fuck out of you. Thank you.

jay345sal28:

letsboldlygomotherfuckers:

rockpaperscissorsgun:

emilyelizabethfowl:

thebritishteapot:

spacecores:

youlovelucie:

artwlw:

diyozas:

adventurotica:

three-course-dessert:

runicbinary:

la-mancha-screwjob:

sugar4ndroses:

narwhalsarefalling:

starlightandcrimescenes:

gin-and-eschatonic:

agrestenoir:

commanderfraya:

icouldwritebooks:

mirab3lle:

thomrainierskies:

mugsandpugs1:

hermionegranger:

autisticcole:

debrides:

I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (“say bye bus!”) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.

I’m glad there’s a teacher version of “accidentally called teacher ‘mom’”

when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people “my lord”

One time during family prayer, dad began: “our father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?”

One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say ‘Welcome to White Castle, what’s your crave?’) asked, “Welcome to White Castle, what’s your problem?”

She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.

Yesterday I went to Wendy’s and the girl said “Welcome to McDonalds” and then just sighed

Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered “please open your books to page eight”, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.

i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy – ill ask the same question twice, or say “$2.60 is your total” while handing back their change, or say “how are you doing today?” instead of “have a good day!” like name it ive bungled it

but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: “few books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be both”

as i handed her the bag i was trying to say “thanks, youre all set” and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said “thanks, youre important”

there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said “oh thank you! youre important too!”

the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was “at least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined ‘youre welcome’ and ‘no problem’ into ‘youre a problem’”

one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, “This is why we use our walking feet.”

we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, “yeah, okay, i should’ve done that.”

I’ve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like “behind” and “coming around” as I maneuver through spaces and around people.

Which, actually, not such a bad thing; I’m a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.

Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a “coming with a knife” while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.

I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her “Hello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alex”

i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.

I have woken up in a cold sweat saying “is that for here or to go?”

Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with “gladly” or “my pleasure”, I die completely 1000% inside

I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying “Robert” I hollered “Name and donor number!?” into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.

In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, “okay, that’ll be $5.46!” I cheerfully responded, “Do you have a Borders rewards card?”

I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog “Sir” when I was mad at him.

My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, “Not a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!” before realizing my mistake.

my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout “i can get the next person in line!” but instead of saying that she yelled “HI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITH” to everyone in the general area

I have told my dog “no thank you” so many times after working at a preschool

a couple of times i’ve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyer’s cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, “no… I have the bags”

Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.

i live for stories like these

i work with kids, one time i came back from a long shift and ended up (successfully) telling my dad to “Stop it.” in the most commanding tone i have ever heard when he was being loud at dinner. i have never felt so mortified yet so powerful.

I’m a cinematographer and I was sharing a room with a friend while we were shooting my last film and I woke him up yelling “I just don’t understand what you want from this shot”

I used to work as customer service at my old job, and got used to greating customers with, “HI! How can I help you?”. So one day when it was my turn to pay for my clothes, I unthinkingly told the girl at the cash register, “HI! How can I help you?”. We just ended up bursting into giggles over my blunder, with her asking in between her laughing if I worked as customer service. I sheepishly said yes

greelin:

greelin:

like if you make a cashier cry you’re evil! sorry! you don’t get a free pass! you don’t get to stand there and see someone visibly stressed and already doing everything they can to help people and move things along as swiftly as possible and act like a toddler and insult them bc you aren’t getting your way in the snap of your fingers! they’re trying their damnedest! they don’t want to be there but they’ve gotta and that involves dealing w/ ppl and when it comes to that kind of behavior! you’re ugly!

no buts! you’re just evil! sorry if that hurts your feelings but you don’t seem to care about doing that to others so! sucks huh

christel-thoughts:

peterslist:

sachertortes:

I really wish there was an option on those Customer Service Surveys that says specifically, “The representative I spoke to was lovely and helpful and deserves all of the raises but I think that you, as a corporation, should die in a fire.”

hey as somebody who works in one of those companies that sends out those surveys, never, NEVER mention how much you hate the company in them. just talk about the representative. then, go to the company’s social media page and blast your bad reviews there

those surveys decide our pay, they decide whether we get bonuses or not, they decide if we get to keep our jobs or not. i’ve read transcripts on surveys where it’s has been praising the representative but mentioned one bad thing about the company. that fell to the representative because they should have been enough to sway the customers opinion.

corporations are fun.