Before she learns about his secret identity, Lois Lane
thinks Clark Kent is a goddamn mess
She goes to his place to work on a joint article and it
takes her like half an hour to find out that Clark lives in an absolutely
nonfunctional house
She has to change a lightbulb but there are no stools, no
sufficiently high chairs, no way of reaching the ceiling unless you find a way
to climb the walls. “How the hell do you change your bulbs?” she asks. Clark
mutters something about misplacing the footstool and helps her drag the table
from the kitchen to the living room.
Lois watches Clark make lasagna and has to physically
restrain him from pulling the tray out of the oven with his bare hands. “Are
you out of your goddamn MIND?” she yells, scrambling to pull him away on time. “What
are you DOING? WHERE ARE THE OVEN MITTS?” and Clark is just like “Right…..oven
mitts…….. I think I lost them with the uh. footstool” both he and Lois pause
for a moment to engage in a riveting game of Mentally Punch Clark
Lois runs into the bathroom to put on a disguise and yells
out, “Where do you keep your razor?” There’s a gust of wind and Clark comes
back with slightly windswept hair. “I got it!” he says with unwarranted
triumph. “It’s right here. The razor I use.” Lois looks at it and it is CLEARLY
recently purchased and never used and she’s just like. I don’t even care
anymore
For weeks she just assumes Clark is missing some crucial
element in his home and starts stacking her own things all over the place. Lois thinking Clark has no clue how to take care of himself while Clark is Eternally Tormented and has to find ways to keep his identity a secret while living in close quarters, and the slow burn mutual pining roommates AU of my dreams begins
You are Superman, aren’t you? Lois, look, we’ve been through these hallucinations of yours before. Can’t you see what you almost did? Throwing yourself off a building 30 stories high? Can’t you see what a tragic mistake you almost made? I made a mistake? I made a mistake because I risked my life instead of yours. Lois! Don’t be insane! And don’t fall down ‘cause you’re just going to have to get up again! Superman II: The Richard Donner Cut (2006)
This scene features one of the best things about Chris Reeve’s portrayal, which is that he physicalized his different choices between playing Clark and Superman. Like, look at the difference:
He could go from Rick Moranis to Chris Evans with just his posture. It’s like his glasses are weighing his entire body down. Here it is, in motion:
Acting.
Lois says, “with a blank?” and Clark’s FUCKIGN FACE OMG. That is the face of a man whose only thought is “motherfucker.”
He should have known that Lois would be thorough and wouldn’t do that if she was only a little sure and he should have known that Lois wouldn’t point a gun at Clark. BLANKS. HE KNOWS SHE’S THIS SMART. FFS, CLARK. Both of them are thinking “damn son you been played” and it’s beautiful
Yes, because Bruce definitely does not have his own anti-gun agenda. CLEARLY.
For anyone who watched “Batman: The Brave and the Bold,” the Batmite finale had a whole thing on this – Batman NEVER EVER uses a gun. Nobody tell his right-wing fans about that…
The whole thing about him and guns stems from his parents’ murder. like jesus fuckin christ people.
BATMAN HATES GUNS
BATMAN HATES GUNS
BATMAN HATES GUNS BECAUSE GUNS ARE WHAT CAUSED HIM TO BECOME THE BATMAN IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE
My co worker had the best opinion on the let down around Bat Dick Gate. My brother and I are old school comic nerds and he asked if I’d seen ‘it’. I said yes; that it had been vague and disappointing and all shadows.
My co worker turns around, completely stoic and dead pan, and says,
I just realized that Clark Kent probably works at the Daily Planet because it means he and his super-senses are planted right in the middle of a bunch of investigative journalists all day long. He probably knows more about Metropolis’ corruption and abuses of power than anyone else in the world, just by virtue of existing in the Daily Planet’s vicinity.
I imagine also that he works there for the reverse reason. Think about all the things he knows about the people in positions of power in the city that Really Should be made known to the public, but he can’t figure out a way to legitimately excuse having that knowledge? Well, all he has to do is drop a hint of a thread in the lap of someone like Lois Lane and his coworkers and friends will be on it like bloodhounds, with a firm air of legitimacy that he himself would never, ever have. Because honestly? Clark Kent probably knows that “I heard about it with my magic alien hearing” isn’t and SHOULDN’T be admissible in a court of law or public opinion. But aiming some good old fashioned investigative journalists in the most competitive news organisation in the city at it? Perfectly legitimate.
Villain: “Hah! What are you going to do, punch me for tax evasion? Lock me up for conspiracy? With what court-admissible evidence? Admit it Superman, there’s nothing you can do here.”
Superman: “Guess not.”
Later, Clark Kent at the Daily Planet watching his colleagues work: “My god, they’re like bureaucratic piranhas. They went through his entire IRS filings for the last eight quarters in thirty minutes flat.”
You know this got me thinking, what is Clark’s news articles like? Did he ever win a Pulitzer Prize like Lois? Is he a good writer?
Clark is an editor, he’s Lois’s editor. He’s the best editor because no one can proof read and spell check as fast as him. The few times he’s gone out on a story is because the Daily Planet was spread thin or short staffed.
Clark Kent is not a coward, he just hates Superman. The reason he runs off every time disaster occurs is cause he knows Superman will be there soon and he can’t stand the guy.
Oh lord, the idea of a running gag of Clark having to come up with more and more elaborate reasons to hate the most beloved guy on Earth would be comedy gold.
“I loaned him thirty four bucks three weeks ago and he STILL hasn’t paid me back”
wupacing 