Everyone in Infinity Wars gonna be complaining about how hard these last few years have been for them until Thor rolls up with no hair, no hammer, and one eye.
Don’t forget “my planet had to be destroyed to keep my sister from killing like the whole universe so now me and all my people are refugees. But hey, Loki’s back, that’s good news!”
Peter(raises his hand in the back): “…My homecoming date‘s dad turned out to be my arch nemesis and a building fell on me!“
Thor (smiles and gives a thumbs-up): “Good for you! (aside, to Tony)…Who is that person? Do we know him or did he just show up?”
T’Challa: My dad died, too.
Thor: I apologize for your loss, I know how it feels
Thor: (To Steve) Who is that handsome man dressed like a kitten?
*my dad died too…and in front of me, cousin almost killed me and took the throne, mentor was killed in front of me for trying to save my life, found out my father killed my uncle, best friend helped wage war against me…and this all happened like last week.*
bruce banner has 7 phds? thats so excessive.. if i met someone with 7 phds i would honestly just be like wtf is wrong with you? its not even the fact that it would take so much time and effort to get them its that there is literally no situation where 7 phds is necessary. thats never gonna happen. hes honestly gotta be so stupid to think for some reason he needs 7 phds.
this reads like a bitter scientist who is very jealous of dr bruce banner
this was ghostwritten by hank pym
Bruce Banner was broke as shit but really good at getting graduate assistantships/scholarships (less good at getting Real World Jobs) so he just went from PhD to PhD for like a decade, just churning out dissertations while weeping and muttering under his breath “i have no real-world skills i have no real-world skills i hAVE NO REAL WORLD SKILLS AAAAAAAHHH”
Imagine the Avengers getting hit with some sort of spell that makes them revert to their first language
and everyone expects to be unable to understand Natasha’s Russian or Thor’s Norse (Allspeak is great but it isn’t his first language according to the spell)
but then Steve starts spouting Gaelic, because he grew up speaking English in public but his immigrant mother taught him her own language first
Tony speaks either Spanish or Italian, because that’s what his first nannies spoke
and the spell considers ASL a language just as much as any spoken language, so Clint is just signing and making faces at people
and Bruce is just very confused (“Why do you expect me to be speaking a different language? I’m from Ohio.”)
The Vision flying around screaming “ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ONE ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO ONE”
A+ for the effort you put in
Sorry to be a bore but Clint was not deaf at birth so he would simply revert to English.
Also saying “Zero” or “One” is speaking English. If anything, Vision would sound like a modem connecting.
imagine one day spidey is held up by the new york city police department, and he’s expecting the same old bullshit of “this stupid spider menace vigilante blah blah blah” like the cops in queens always say to him, but instead he’s met with a 30 year old brooklyn cop who is less concerned with peter being a vigilante, and is more concerned with peter’s powers. he won’t stop asking peter about his spider powers, how they work, how he got them, how he would rate them on a scale of “cool” to “toit”
and finally peter gets a word in edgewise and is like “not that this isn’t refreshing compared to the way the police usually treat me, but what kinda cop are you again??” and the cop is like “i’m actually a detective, jake peralta from the 99th precinct. anyways can you summon an army of spiders or is that just a rumor?? oh my god can you talk to them, can you ask the spiders if they like die hard??”
this is a fic i wasnt aware i needed
As soon as I read “toit”, I said “Jake Peralta” froze, and felt my soul leave my body. Thank you for this.
Another idea: I just imagine Amy tracking Spidey down with evil villain level accuracy because she wants to get his autograph for Jake for his birthday.
wupacing 