Tony hates public appearances, they’re all fake pr crap but SESAME STREET?!
Sesame Street didn’t think they’d get him but it wouldn’t hurt to ask, right?
Tony showed up beaming, he was so fucking happy. He dropped them enough money to run for a year.
He loves Sesame Street. He loves Bill Nye. He plays a recurring role as himself on Cyber Chase.
He appears for free on any kids’ science show that will have him because he knows that will boost their ratings and get kids to watch.
Tony donates to underfunded schools.
Tony unironically judges science fairs.
TONY LOVES SCIENCE AND WANTS EVERYONE ELSE TO LOVE IT TOO
so when Wakanda opens it’s borders? When he meets Shuri?
He pulls her aside and says ‘I know this tv show that you should be on. They’ll love you there.’
Tony on Sesame Street needs to be canon
So many of the Avengers and associates ended up on the show that Tony just paid the production costs for their own spinoff. The Assisters™ solve all the problems they encounter with knowledge. Super-Grover becomes an honorary member of the Assisters immediately. Clint cries when he first meets his Muppet counterpart. Peter almost exclusively wears every but of BugBoy merch he can find.
IMPORTANT: Is Clint’s counterpart deaf?
Obviously Eagle-eye is deaf. He and his dog Lucky have a regular ASL segment.
Director Snarky only has one eye, which is why his trench coat gets stuck in things so often (depth perception issues, you know) but luckily his friend Agent Molehill is always willing to lend a hand.
Mary Molehill’s segments are mostly about taking big jobs and breaking them down so they’re manageable. She shows different ways to do the same jobs, too because not all methods work for all people.
Agent Coldson has some scars from an accident that happened a while ago. Most if the time he’s the one helping everybody else but sometimes his ptsd makes things hard for him and his friends, both in the Assisters and at S.H.E.L.L. have to make sure they help in the right way.
S.H.E.L.L., of course, is the acronym for Someone Helping Everybody Lots & Lots. Agent Coldson explained it when he was also explaining about acronyms.
I need this to be real.
Ok I love this so much
Okay but we need a few side segments that don’t happen very often but people get excited for anyway.
Poki is the well known local trickster, playing mostly childish pranks on everyone, but will occasionally turn to full on scemes that get nearly the entire cast involved. Usually, though, he’ll hide something that belongs to one of the others and force them to look for it. Said person will then ask a child for help, who will of course suggest places it is clearly not when it’s hidden in plain sight, until they eventually find. Poki will say that the person somehow cheated and vow to return with a better hiding hiding place next time. Pokis only has two weaknesses: giving him a kiss and or hug or… calling his mother, Trigga.
Dr. Strain will more often than not be the one stitching up the heros when they get an ‘ouchy or tear’. Literally stitching them up as he shows the proper way to stitch and sew things together while also reminding children not to use sharp needles without adult supervision.
Track Dancer, a mysterious ally hailing from the land of Wadona where everyone is some form of cat, will show you how to dance fight like a pro. He also explains why violence is not always the answer and how we should use our words and not our fists, but to remeber that words can be just has harmful when not used properly.
Shari, a proud lioness also from Wadona, will show you wicked cool science experiments and what tools to use to execute them properly. Safety is her #1 priority, though, and will not hesitate to call you out if she sees you in sandals or walking around without safety glasses anywhere near her laboratory.
Tucky Tarnes is an expert at doing his chores. He folds his clothes neatly. He makes his bed every morning after breakfast, making sure to tuck in those silly corners and more often than not wrestling with them to stay in place. Washing the dishes after he dirties them. And cleaning up his messes. Only when all his chores are done will he go outside and play with his best friend, Beaver Bogers.
Meggy Marter is the kindly old veteran of the group. She’s quick to give out helpful advice and is always offering milk and cookies to her visitors, but don’t let this fool you. She’ll happily kick butt and take names (in a kid friendly way of course) if it means getting the job done. And don’t you dare try to tell her that this is a mans problem and should be handled as such. You’ll never be allowed to eat her milk and cookies again.
It got better….I heart you!!
Shari: And we NEVER EVER touch a beaker when it is hot. That would bad and make Mommy and Daddy very sad.
******
Dr. Strain: Be sure to keep the stitching as straight as possible to prevent the stuffing from falling out. And try to keep the thread from bunching and tangling together or you may be forced to start all over again.
*Bhor come running by in a tangle of thread as he flails his arms before tripping and flying off screen followed by the sounds of banging trashcans and other various metals* *Momir comes flying by a second later*
Dr. Strain: *deep sigh of exasperation as be looks at the floor and shacks his head*
******
Eagle-Eye: Now pay close attention to this one, kids. It can be a bit tricky, but you all seem smart, so I’m sure you’ll all get the hang of it in no time! Right, Lucky?
Lucky: Bark bark! *pants excitedly and bounces up and down while the interpretor shows the audience how to sign the words*
******
Sony: Hey, has anyone seen my wrench?
*everyone thinks to themselves before shaking their heads and saying, ‘No. Nope. Not me. Nuh-uh.’ and so on*
Sony: That’s weird. I can’t find it anywhere.
Mary: Well, where do you remember having it last?
Sony: Just a few minutes ago, but now it’s gone!
Tucky: Don’t worry! We’ll help you find it!
Everyone: Yeah! Com’on! Let’s go! I think I saw it in a birthday cake!
*Only Bhor and Sony remain*
Bhor: I find it most odd that your weapon for fixing broken machinations has gone missing, Sony.
Sony: Me too, Bhor. It’s almost as if it disappeared by mag-. *a mischievous giggle is heard off screen* What was that?
Bhor: *Sony and Bhor look all around in confusion to find the source* I do not know. It seems to have stopped. *giggle is heard again and continues as the two look around more* Wait! I would know that laughter anywhere! There is only one person it can be!
Sony: GASP! Voldemort!
Bhor: Yes, it i-. *turns to Sony with an exasperated face before facing the camera again* There is only one other person it can be!
Sony: Wait… You don’t mean….
Bhor: I fear so. It is-!
*Thunder claps as a bright puff of smoke billows up from the floor. Out of the flash steps none other than Poki* *Sony and Bhor jump at each other and shake in each others arms as this all happens*
Poki: Behold! It is *cough* none other than *cough cough* I, Po- *cough cough* ki, Prince of Glassgaurd and God of-! *starts coughing uncontrollably* *Bhor and Sony look at each other in question* Pardon me, one moment. *conjures up a glass of water and drinks it quickly* *sighs in relief once done* Sorry for that. I have asked them to tone down the smoke but they never listen. Now where was I? Oh, yes! Prince of Glassgaurd and God of Mischief and Lies!
imagine if odin wasn’t a trick ass bitch and thor loki And hela were like actual siblings without all the issues,,,they really would’ve killed thanos Dumbass for fun on like a weekend mission
thor kills thanos for giving his dumbass genocide speech in the middle of the starbucks and holding up the line, while loki and hela post selfies on instagram, the backgrounds of which are All thor mopping the floor with thanos head
tell me again about how peggy carter never taught steve rogers how to fight?
you
clearly
aren’t
paying
enough
attention
dear
What I love about this in an odd way is that all of these fighting techniques tend to be used by smaller and weaker people. In the first two: you get them off balance, take them by surprise. In three and four: incapacitating someone so they can’t continue to harm you. Five and six: again, surprise and using nearby objects because if they can’t get to you, they can’t hit you. Finally, the last two: overturn their center of gravity, get them off balance, get them to fall. These are all things Steve should have been taught before he went standing up to bullies and they are all things that Peggy Carter made sure he knew when he was big enough to keep bullies from hurting other people.
She taught Steve before he was big. She didn’t know (and if she had an idea, she definitely didn’t know for certain) that he was ever going to get big. She taught little Steve Rogers how to fight, because everyone else at basic training treated his presence like a joke, and because she was hands down the most qualified.
Or course Steve already knew how to fight, but he knew how to fight like a big muscular person, which he wasn’t. Most of his knowledge of fighting came from being hit by other people, by bigger people, by men. You can bet Bucky tried to teach him, but Bucky was big and strong and not qualified to know what would work best for STEVE.
Peggy Carter taught Steve to fight within his abilities, within his limitations, USING his size to his advantage. Be fast, be resourceful, bend your knees and get low and use their momentum against them, and when it gets serious fight dirty.
Peggy Carter taught Steve Rogers to fight like a woman, and that is why he always fucking wins.
wupacing 