sif and valkyrie meet on a lesbian dating app on earth and for the whole date theyre both in disguise as midguardians not realizing that both of them are from asgard
What I love about this is they’d both be terrible at it but for completely opposite reasons.
Sif would try very hard but she is an earnest Old Worlde Asgardian to her bones and would be every alien/timetraveller-fails-to-fit-in cliche at once. “More of your Earth food, please, fellow human” and so forth.
Valkyrie has spent a few thousand years in a cutthroat multicultural urban environment and could probably adapt and pass as human if she actually tried, but instead she’d do the most token effort imaginable. It’s not like any of these Midguardians would recognise alien tech, and changing clothes is effort, etc.
And both of them would be very pleased at how much easier this all was than they were expecting. “I’m doing great!” they would both think, comparing notes on their favourite kind of spaceship (midguardians have spaceships, right?) and having an arm wrestling context where they use 1/10th of their strength, eg enough to break the arm of any actual human.
And then eventually Sif would be overcome with guilt and tearfully explain her Terrible Lie and Valkyrie would go YOU MEAN I PUT ALL THIS EFFORT IN FOR NOTHING and then Sif would die of fangirling because Valkyrie.
And then they’d make out, the end.
um um um SOMEONE WRITE THIS STORY OH MY GOD amazing
wade would die for aunt may, ever since the day they first met and she brushed aside his handshake for a hug and left him speechless, he added may’s house to his regular patrols
wade still doesn’t talk to may as much as peter would like, he still tries to get out of visiting her, but it’s because every time he’s around her it takes everything he’s got just to keep from turning into a sobbing wreck
she’s like the mother he never had, she drops by their place all the time to drop off tupperwares full of food because she’s worried they aren’t eating right, she’s right of course
wade breaks into may’s place to do chores for her when she’s not home, like he used to do for peter before they moved in together, after she found out what wade was doing, she started leaving out plates of snacks and thank you cards that made wade cry, wade’s kept everything single one of those cards in a shoebox in the closet
may once tricked wade into going shopping with her, she said she wanted to get peter something for his birthday and she wanted wade’s help, so of course he couldn’t refuse, but instead of looking for a gift, she took wade to the mall and spent the whole time window shopping with him, she remembered how excited wade was in the lush store and when his birthday came around, he got a basket full of skin creams and lotions and bath bombs, she even beat out peter’s gift that year
the first time may told him he was family, peter was in the avenger’s icu, may had been brought in, and when wade started feeling out of place with everybody hovering over peter, he tried to leave, just to have may grab his hand and tell him to stay because he’s family
when wade decided to ask peter to marry him, he went to may for help, they went to the jewelry store together and picked out a ring, something simple and heartfelt, she helped him pick out a day and a place too
but he and peter got on their knees at the same time and started laughing when they both pulled out the same engagement ring, aunt may had played them both like a f
when they got home there was a gift from may already waiting for them, a note with her congratulations and a carefully wrapped glass, because “it was about time”
wupacing 