Tag: misogyny

flarechaser:

thecringeandwincefactory:

violetohara:

xmagnet-o:

dandridgegirl:

daughter-of-scheherazade:

So I recently got surgery two weeks ago and on the day of the surgery, they had me waiting in a cold room in just a gown because they had to do a pregnancy test. I had just gotten off my period literally two days ago and unless I was miraculously the next Virgin Mary, I’m 100% not pregnant. The nurse barely looks up from her charts to acknowledges this before insisting that I had to take another test. If I didn’t take another one, they would immediately cancel my surgery. It was hospital policy.

I’ve had this condition all my life but its gotten completely unbearable the past few years and I’ve been actively going to the doctors the last two years trying different methods to allievate my pain and this surgery was my last chance at any type of pain free life. It took 6 months to schedule and if I had to wait another second, I was going kill somebody. Safe to say I was a little pissed. I sat in that freezing room, irritated with an IV needle sticking in my hand, waiting on the nurse to find records of my pee test that I did less than a two week ago at their request. She couldn’t find the test results. She handed me an empty container with a cheery smile and an obnoxious prep talk that I did not ask for and told me to fill it.

One of the preparatory requirements they gave me was that the night before the surgery I couldn’t consume any foods or liquid (water especially). So I couldn’t pee. I asked for some water and she reluctantly gave me a cup with two sip fulls.

My surgery was scheduled for 9 A.M, they told me to come in at 7:30 A.M. It was already 11:41 A.M. when I had to retake the test and I didn’t go in until almost 1 P.M. The fact that I had to go through that extra hoop and have the threat of my surgery being cancelled hung over me like a noose just because of a pregnancy test is beyond aggravating. People love perpetually valuing the potential of a possible fetus over the lives of already living women. We always seem to come second no matter what.

That’s sounds extremely stressful. I’m sorry you had to go through that on top of everything else. We aren’t effing incubators!

This is so common amongst girls and women dealing with medical care

[Medical/Miscarriage TW] Earlier this year I went to the ER on a Monday night with terrible abdominal pain, cramps, throwing up, the whole shebang. They did an ultrasound but couldn’t see anything so they attributed it to a bad stomach bug, gave me IV fluids & anti-nausea meds, and sent me home Tuesday morning.

They didn’t want to do a CT scan, you see, because ‘We don’t want to irradiate your uterus unnecessarily.’ Here’s the thing. There was NO way I was pregnant AT ALL because I was literally still suffering & passing the remnants of a fucking spontaneous miscarriage. Not only that, I told them: the miscarriage was a surprise and an accident. I do not want children, had not been trying to have a baby, and had not known I was pregnant until it stopped (it was a weird year).

I was severely dehydrated and on morphine but I do remember telling them ‘I don’t care about my uterus, I’m not using it.’ But because of their concern for any future potential other fetuses, they didn’t do a CT scan. And 20 hours later I got to experience the worst pain of my life, my first CT scan, and my first surgery when my appendix stopped just being infected and decided to go ahead and burst.

I don’t usually add my own $0.02 to posts but misogyny in medicine needs to stop.

Yeah, this happened to me, too, about 17 years ago at University of Chicago Hospital after getting hit by a car. 

I got kidney stones my first semester of undergrad and they wouldn’t give me the scan until I did the pregnancy test, but I couldn’t pee because dehydration and kidney stones. I was in pretty awful abdominal pain to the point where I couldn’t stand, sit, or lay down without pain. I told the doctors id never even had sex, that it felt like kidney stones, and they still insisted. My friend overheard them mocking me- obviously I was lying because I was a college freshman and all freshman girls had sex lmao. So hours and hours later and I finally get the ct scan and surprise! Its kidney stones. I was in an unnecessary amount of pain for hours because an imaginary fetus was more important than my actual immediate health.

colorsoftheswim:

pastelmorgue:

ubuntuliberation:

“The average prison sentence for men who kill their intimate partners is 2 to 6 years. Women who kill their partners are sentenced, on average, 15 to 17 years. A pair of Maryland cases vividly illustrates this inequality in sentencing. In one case, a judge in Baltimore County, Maryland sentenced Kenneth Peacock to 18 months for killing his unfaithful wife. The very next day, another judge in the same county sentenced Patricia Ann Hawkins to three years in prison for killing her abusive husband. Significantly, the prosecutor in the Peacock case requested a sentence twice as long as the one imposed, while the prosecutor in the Hawkins case requested one-third of the sentence imposed.”

“As many as 90% of the women in prison today [2008] for killing men had been battered by those men.”

~ The Michigan Women’s Justice & Clemency Project

try and tell me sexism isn’t real

Hold the fucking phone

babyspicegf:

babyspicegf:

babyspicegf:

can you believe female hysteria was considered like an actual medical thing… god

mary louise moneybags in 1880: im horny all the time and also sad and i feel dissatisfied with my shitty life i dont want kids i hate my dad and my husband

dr mis o’geny: i diagnose you with WOMAN

fun fact if you’re a man you’re not allowed to laugh at this joke bcus i don’t go a day without hearing about how girls are all overemotional unstable and crazy so you all still think like this you’ve just gotten better at phrasing it in a way that doesnt seem like bullshit at first glance

thememacat:

terfzilla:

“In my personal experience, women raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being listened to. Men raise their voices because they feel like they aren’t being obeyed”

I want this tattooed on my face

Hitting that reblog button hard and fast

unofficialkaiser:

honestly does it ever strike y’all how a lot of misogyny isn’t even “i hate women, they need to die” misogyny, but just a normalized belief in women’s innate inferiority? men don’t even have to explicitly state they think women are inferior, they let us know in their everyday words. like how “you cry/throw/act like a girl” has become an accepted way of saying “you are exhibiting weak behavior. do better.” and how casually men call women bitches and whores but there are literally no male equivalents of those slurs. if a man is called a “bitch” it means he’s imitating a woman, which is bad, and a man being called a “whore” is always referred to as a “man whore” because the word literally has been used in a way that makes women its main target.

for fuck’s sake, for a long time in american culture we used go call tank tops “wife beaters”. so much of misogyny is casual. like women are just living our lives with a deep understanding that men think we’re below them and always will be because our very existence is turned into insults to encourage men to “act like men”.

karenhealey:

“I asked myself what style we women could have adopted that would have been unmarked, like the men’s. The answer was none. There is no unmarked woman. There is no woman’s hair style that can be called standard, that says nothing about her. The range of women’s hair styles is staggering, but a woman whose hair has no particular style is perceived as not caring about how she looks, which can disqualify her for many positions, and will subtly diminish her as a person in the eyes of some. Women must choose between attractive shoes and comfortable shoes. When our group made an unexpected trek, the woman who wore flat, laced shoes arrived first. Last to arrive was the woman in spike heels, shoes in hand and a handful of men around her. If a woman’s clothing is tight or revealing (in other words, sexy), it sends a message – an intended one of wanting to be attractive, but also a possibly unintended one of availability. If her clothes are not sexy, that too sends a message, lent meaning by the knowledge that they could have been. There are thousands of cosmetic products from which women can choose and myriad ways of applying them. Yet no makeup at all is anything but unmarked. Some men see it as a hostile refusal to please them. Women can’t even fill out a form without telling stories about themselves. Most forms give four titles to choose from. “Mr.” carries no meaning other than that the respondent is male. But a woman who checks “Mrs.” or “Miss” communicates not only whether she has been married but also whether she has conservative tastes in forms of address – and probably other conservative values as well. Checking “Ms.” declines to let on about marriage (checking “Mr.” declines nothing since nothing was asked), but it also marks her as either liberated or rebellious, depending on the observer’s attitudes and assumptions. I sometimes try to duck these variously marked choices by giving my title as “Dr.” – and in so doing risk marking myself as either uppity (hence sarcastic responses like “Excuse me!”) or an overachiever (hence reactions of congratulatory surprise like “Good for you!”). All married women’s surnames are marked. If a woman takes her husband’s name, she announces to the world that she is married and has traditional values. To some it will indicate that she is less herself, more identified by her husband’s identity. If she does not take her husband’s name, this too is marked, seen as worthy of comment: she has done something; she has “kept her own name.” A man is never said to have “kept his own name” because it never occurs to anyone that he might have given it up. For him using his own name is unmarked. A married woman who wants to have her cake and eat it too may use her surname plus his, with or without a hyphen. But this too announces her marital status and often results in a tongue-tying string. In a list (Harvey O’Donovan, Jonathan Feldman, Stephanie Woodbury McGillicutty), the woman’s multiple name stands out. It is marked.”

— Deborah Tannen, “Marked Women, Unmarked Men” (via ohcorny)

heavyweightheart:

heavyweightheart:

We live in a society which not only facilitates the abuse and assault of women but which also demands that they “prove it” by giving the intimate details of their trauma to courtrooms full of strangers (in some cases televised for the entire world)? That’s no kind of due process, it’s barbarity

And knowing what we do about trauma and the brain/body, and retraumatization, the fact that the process is still set up this way tells us that at best the justice system is indifferent to women’s emotional and physical health, and at worst it’s designed to punish them for telling the truth about men

lettersfromeleanorrigby:

aria-jane-cherry:

jennikeatts:

w0rldweaver:

soloveitchik:

pbrim:

iammyfather:

nerdymouse:

lesbwian:

Shout out to all my straight sisters I’m so sorry 😞

Jesus, leave his ass.

We learn fast to be very kind and attentive, tho.

My mom, who got her degree in Marriage and Family Counseling when she was 60, says studies show that women will sometimes sometimes leave a long term relationship to live on their own for a while before seeking a new relationship, but men will almost never leave a long term relationship without having a new relationship either in progress or just beginning.  They don’t want to give up the caretaker they have without another one on deck or in the wings.

This is so sad

This isnt cute or quirky. This means hes a fucking hopeless user

Please date a man who actually acts like an adult.

Ok I lived with my ex for 2 years and he literally wouldn’t be able to get his own food if I wasn’t at home, I’d get home from work and he’d be angry at me for “making him starve”

My current partner has lived on his own for 8 years and the absolute most I have to help him with is maybe sending him $20 so he can make a bill payment on time

It made me realise for 2-4 years I wasn’t a girlfriend I was a fucking mother

Men who have been independent are capable of reverting if given the slightest excuse. When we married, my ex husband was 10 years older than me and had lived on his own for 8ish years. Yet (and I allowed this until I finally got fed up and took us to counseling) I did 80% of the cooking, because I was better at it. Same with the cleaning, shopping, social planning, etc.

After I left, in the first six months I got texts or calls asking me to please tell him:

  • The online banking password (dude, I left you, you should really change that)
  • Where I ordered his special-wecial organic underwear
  • Where the good cutting board was (my dad gave it to us at our wedding, genius, I took it with me along with the rest of the stuff from my family)
  • What brand butter we bought
  • What brand of local kielbasa we bought
  • Who his doctor was
  • What RMV office had the shortest lines
  • Where the old tax returns were (in the fucking box labeled tax returns)
  • The phone number for his best friend

I shit you not.

Then he had a heart attack (mild) and none of his family or friends were around to take him to the hospital. But instead of calling 911, he called me, who by then lived 45 minutes away. He lived 5 minutes from an EMS dispatch location. He called me, despite the fact that he didn’t believe me 8 months prior when I was feeling suicidal and I had to call a cab to go alone to check myself into the hospital for a 72-hour hold. I told him to call 911, hung up on him when he whined about “making a fuss”, called 911, called his siblings and then texted them “your brother is having a heart attack, I called 911 for him, come home,” and washed my hands of it.

Emotionally vacant men who won’t do household labor or emotional labor are not Nazis, but they aren’t good people, either, and you don’t have to put up with their shit.