When someone says these days sexism and misogyny don’t exist anymore show them this.
Tag: misogyny
Emotional Labor: What It Is and How To Do It
via Celine Loup
^^all of this
(x)
Yikes. Yikes yikes yikes yikes yikes. I wasn’t planning on watching anyway because I’m so over it but yikes this is awful. Not one person stood up for her besides the only other woman. Both of them were spoken over, mostly by Jason Bateman. Just awful.
Jessica Walter, who has been in the industry since the 60’s, not only gets gaslit about the abuse Tambor put her through, she gets mansplained by people half her age and a quarter of her experience and acclaim, about what the industry is.
You know acting like this is representative of the general hurdles that everyday women have facing sexual harassment is really fucking stupid.
Except, you know, women keep getting violently assaulted or murdered for saying “no” to men:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4874492/Woman-27-seven-guests-shot-ex-husband.html
http://people.com/crime/florida-woman-and-sister-killed-by-her-ex-husband-murder-suicide/
https://nypost.com/2016/09/06/student-killed-at-jouvert-wanted-man-to-stop-grinding-on-her-cops/
So yeah. Women have this in the back of their minds when sexually harassed or approached by a creep. That any man who they reject could turn violent and kill them. So maybe its time to have a conversation about misogyny and the entitlement men have toward women.
How anyone can look at an incident of sexual harassment in school culminating in violent retribution and not see an everyday danger in something that literally happens every day is just mind-blowing.
Because we can’t admit women have legitimate reasons to be wary of men because that’s mean and hurts men’s feelings.
there’s a thread or two on twitter of women being killed for rejecting men… when the woman first said she would start it, men called her all kinds of a liar. and then as she added to it every day, they started the name-calling, threats, etc.
i say all this to say i do not believe for one second that men don’t know this is a real problem. they just don’t want us discussing it and compiling the information.
it’s just like how the NRA keeps pushing the “lone wolf” and “isolated incident” narrative. it’s just like how the cops keep pushing “isolated incident”. They know it’s a lie.
Leslie Jamison, “I Used to Insist I Didn’t Get Angry. Not Anymore.”
[image text: “The phenomenon of female anger has often been turned against itself, the figure of the angry woman reframed as threat — not the one who has been harmed, but the one bent on harming. She conjures a lineage of threatening archetypes: the harpy and her talons, the witch and her spells, the medusa and her writhing locks. The notion that female anger is unnatural or destructive is learned young; children report perceiving displays of anger as more acceptable from boys than from girls. According to a review of studies of gender and anger written in 2000 by Ann M. Kring, a psychology professor at the University of California, Berkeley, men and women self-report “anger episodes” with comparable degrees of frequency, but women report experiencing more shame and embarrassment in their aftermath. People are more likely to use words like “bitchy” and “hostile” to describe female anger, while male anger is more likely to be described as “strong.” Kring reported that men are more likely to express their anger by physically assaulting objects or verbally attacking other people, while women are more likely to cry when they get angry, as if their bodies are forcibly returning them to the appearance of the emotion — sadness — with which they are most commonly associated.”]
Parineeti Chopra responds to a male reporter who claims to know nothing about periods (menstrual cycle). [X]
SO IMPORTANT.
I started my period when I was 10 years old. But we didn’t tell my grandma for three years because she subscribed to the “old traditions”, where a woman on her period could not enter the house, not even to bathe. Where she had to sit outside in front of the house (where the whole village could be witness to her shame and isolation) for the entire duration.
My friend started her period unexpectedly while we were at our local temple (in America) for dance class. Asking around if any of the parents had pads (all of them apologized and acted like adults about it), I thought surely the front office has a first aid kit. Don’t they have pads? When we asked, not only did they not have any, when one of the women gave one from her purse, the head secretary told us “There are men who need to use the first-aid kit, ya? So we don’t keep period things there.” Not even ibuprofen (which has so many more uses than period pain).
There are girls in India and Nepal (and other places, but I just read an in-depth piece about the situations in Nepal) who have to go to the “period hut” when their period comes and not leave until its over. They can’t wash and dry their cloth pads in the daylight, so they do it at night when the pads won’t dry properly before their next use, making them vulnerable to infection.
It is incredibly important, especially in India, to break the taboo surrounding periods. Break the secrecy around an event that happens to almost every woman, every month for literally half of her lifetime. Break the hiding, break the cover-up, break the SHAME.
Just break EVERYTHING. So little girls can go to school every day of every month without feeling ashamed. So women can work every day of every month to provide for their families without being glared at. So single fathers can confidently take care of their daughters’ health. So that women can talk about how terrible their period is or isn’t and give each other advice on how to deal with it without looking around to make sure men aren’t listening.
So that Whisper doesn’t have to be called Whisper, it can be called SHOUT. It can be called PROUD. So that we don’t NEED to fucking WHISPER about our bodies and our health.fuck yeah. shame men right back. “You don’t know about periods? That’s ridiculous. Terrible.”
*raises hand*
Our attending walked into the room wearing her white coat, name badge on, and introduced herself as the doctor. The patient continued to refer to her as nurse the entire time we were there, and when we left, asked when the “real doctor” was coming. This same attending had to stop wearing her (very conservative, knee-length) dresses/skirts because male patients would comment on her legs or try to touch them. An ophthalmologist friend was telling me that she won’t do slit-lamp exams with the door shut anymore because male patients have (more than once) groped her.
Racism is still a big problem, too. I have another friend who, just yesterday, was told by a patient something along the lines of “it’s a good thing you aren’t a doctor (he is) because your people are coming here and taking up all the doctor jobs.” And that was definitely one of the milder things I’ve heard patients say about race. They’re usually screaming slurs.
I’ve introduced myself as a doctor, discussed treatment options, and when I left, I heard the patient complain that she hadn’t seen a doctor at all.
I’ve seen this from two perspectives now both on the floor and behind the scenes and I fucking hate it.
I’ve had more people than I can count call in to central billing to dispute their ER bills because the doctor that saw them was either a woman or a minority and, quote, “I never saw a doctor!”
“Sir/Ma’am it says right here you saw Dr. (Insert Name).”
“I mean a REAL doctor!”
“They are a real doctor. And you still have to pay this bill.”
They then usually ask to speak with a supervisor and get mad because all the supervisors are women.
Do you know what I hate??
When I was growing up any time my brother upset/hurt/was rude to or downright nasty to me I was told “he’s just doing it to get a rise out of you” “he’s just doing it to annoy you”
Like??? I know?? I know he’s being mean to upset me. I know he’s saying horrible stuff to annoy me. And guess what?? I’m annoyed!!!!
I was literally told not to be upset, because his intentions were to upset me????
How is that not upsetting? Especially to a young girl??
THE GASLIGHTING STARTS EARLY.
“Sweetheart, its easier for you to just bear it than it is for us to teach him to stop. Mkay?”
my brother was never chastised in any way for bullying me and it led to him being emotionally abusive to me for years. we’re both adults now and have a shitty, distant relationship and he may not harass me anymore but he still takes every opportunity to make fun of me/my interests/etc. and never praises/says anything encouraging. we’re probably going to go our separate ways eventually and never contact each other again.
that’s what “boys will be boys” does.
Confession: I used to belong to trump culture.
Not entirely willingly, mind. I was young, religious, and I made
the naïve mistake in thinking that all Christians were like the ones I had
encountered at my home church: warm, tolerant, kind. I fell in love, and we did
what young, hormonal Christian teenagers did: rushed into a marriage.I realized my mistake almost immediately, but it took far
too long to get out.Personally, I endured abuse at the hands of my new husband—mental,
physical, sexual, economic, emotional. You name it, he did it. Brutal is an
understatement. He systematically broke me down until I was a shell of a human
being. I’m still dealing with the emotional fallout and physical side effects,
and I probably will be for another decade at least.That’s personally, but let’s talk his family. Because he was
an extreme case, yes, but he was raised with the idea that women existed to
keep their mouths shut and their legs open. I spit out two children faster than
I could whip my head, because birth control wasn’t part of god’s grand plan for
my life. I was fulfilling my purpose as a mother, and wasn’t that great? My
husband didn’t want the first baby. He wanted me for himself, see? Abortion was
unthinkable, but he fully expected to carry a baby—my baby—to term, then give
it away.Keeping him was my first rebellion. Keeping the next one was
my second.In the time I belonged to that family, I watched my
mother-in-law endure the same, though less extreme mistreatment. I watched every
young female family member be groped by the family patriarch. “That’s just how
it is.” I was shamed for making a fuss about it. I watched an older cousin try to sexually assault my teenage
sister-in-law and she was the one who
felt ashamed. We women made family dinners while the men sat on their asses. My
husband and I lived with his parents for a short time. She and I would go to
work each morning—an hour each way—with our husbands sitting in their robes in
the living room, playing video games. When we returned hours later, weary,
exhausted, they hadn’t moved. The standard greeting? “What’s for dinner.”That’s his family, and yes, some families are sexist, but let’s
talk about church. That’s where all of this is validated, encouraged, taught. Imagine
my shock, when I went to my new husbands’ family church and encountered muted
xenophobia and racism, a heavy dose of homophobia, and some damned overt sexism
(see above.)Equal roles, but different. Sound familiar? This is still
being taught to little girls today.In church, I listened with quiet disgust as pastors preached
about how awful my sister—one of the gays—was. I piped up and asked how that
sexual sin was any different than the two young church kids who’d just been
caught “in a bad way”, soon to expect their first baby. Sexual sin is sexual
sin, isn’t it? I sure did get an earful for that one. We did church boycotts:
Disney, Target. Every Sunday School class: Job, cookies, and lets pray God
saves the moos-lims before they all come over and blow us up. We revered
people with white savior complexes who went to be jesus’s hands and feet and
save the poor, helpless Africans.Hate and ignorance, wrapped up in the holy Scripture.
Hallelujah.Meanwhile, I endured this abuse. This abuse, and every door
slammed in my face as my husband hit me, tortured me. “Stay true to your vows,”
the pastor would say. “You have communication issues,” our sister-in-law
would tell us. My mother-in-law: “Linds, you just have to accept it. Love is a
choice.”“But what about the part where it says that husbands are to
love their wives like Christ loves the church?” I asked.My brother in law, joking: “This is why women aren’t
supposed to speak in church.”This America is alive and kicking, kids. It’s never gone away; it’s just been lurking,
behind closed doors. “Pass the casual racism and meat loaf, would you? And get
me a glass of water while you’re up. Ketchup, too.” What I’m scared about,
truly, is that I know this. And these ideas are now validated. Now mainstream. Almost
50% of our population believes this is
a good idea.“It’s our time to take America back.”
What in the hell, if they’ve been saying these things behind
closed doors, and if they believe them In The Name Of God—what in the hell are
they going to say in the open, now? What in the hell are they going to do?The 50s are revered as the aspirational yester-year, days
gone by. Progress, as we call it, is godlessness to them. We, the godless libs,
took Jesus out of schools. We’ve gone wrong ever since.This is the America people want back, and that’s my first
fear.The second is this:
I got out. And I’m terrified that this, my success story,
won’t happen anymore.I’m the rare statistic. I un-brainwashed and educated myself.
I got counseling (against every Christian advice) to treat severe post-partum
depression. In the process of becoming a healthier person, I realized
what a goddamn mess I was.It took three tries and a pastor-pseudo-therapist legitimately
telling me, “You know if he hits you again, Linds, I’m going to have to tell
you to leave.”All regretful, like it was bad news.
“Why should I stick around and wait for it to happen again?”
I asked.He didn’t have an answer. I left the next week.
It took a few boldfaced lies (it’s temporary, it’s just a separation), and a few miracles, and a
large support system of family and friends who all but plucked me out of that
hell.For leaving? My price was excommunication. From his family,
our friends, our church. I am the heathen who Divorced my Husband and broke our
home. In that entire city, only three people talk to me now.(No loss, but it took a long time to recognize that.)
I never, ever would have made it on my own. I had two small children,
a new job that barely paid a living wage, and I was, as I’ve said, a shell of a
human being. I left him and went straight to the human services office. Without
subsidized childcare, healthcare, and food supplements, we would have starved
or been homeless. It never would have been possible.These are the services that will probably be cut first.
How will anyone in my situation ever be able to leave? They
won’t. Not to mention federal funding for shelters, crisis counseling for
families, healthcare for abused women, and legal services for domestic violence
victims. Throw in a court system that doesn’t value women, and a cultural mentality
that believes what happens behind closed doors should stay behind closed doors… What hope do abused, trapped women have? None in hell.If this is what makes America great again, I want out. I’ve
been there, done that, and I’m never, ever doing it again.You’ll take it back over my cold, lifeless body.
This is the dark, dirty secret of Amerika: Women are not free.
Signal boost the hell out of this!
^ The services that Republicans most want to cut aid to are the ones that do the most to help women break free of the brainwashing, control and abuse of disgusting, hateful male fascists
This is not coincidence
daily truth from Trevor Noah
let’s be real, they called the cops to get them kicked out because they don’t like black people.
these mother fuckers need to be arrested and charged for a false call to the police. if you tell a cop the wrong name, you get arrested. it’s time for us to treat false calls the same way.
Also, they kept pace with the group in front of them. And didn’t slow down the group behind them. This makes no sense.
They also asked the person overseeing the golf course how their pace was… guess what? He said they were doing just fine and had no need to worry. The people in the group behind them told police when they arrived that the women didn’t slow them down at all. The biggest kicker? The women had to WAIT for the group in front of them because the group ahead of them were not keeping up pace.
It’s even more disheartening hearing that these racist men approached the women on THE SECOND HOLE about speed. Then the women actually skipped a hole, because of the complaint of going to slow and were still chastised.
Article Link: https: https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/25/us/black-women-golfers-pennsylvania-trnd/index.html
wupacing 