i think an aspect of rape culture that we don’t talk about often enough is the whole myth that ur first time is supposed to be painful and a bloody mess. like i know the myth itself has been addressed and debunked many times but we don’t talk about how intrinsically that is linked with rape culture. the normalisation of sex that causes physical harm and pain from the minute u become sexually active is so tragic and awful? like generations of girls have been lied to and told that it’s ok for you to physically suffer during ur first time having sex and so many boys have been convinced it’s not their responsibility to make sure that like….doesn’t happen? the number of conversations i’ve had with girl friends and we’ve exchanged stories of our first times and so many of them were in so much pain they told their partner to stop and he was like “dw it’s supposed to hurt” and carried on…..? or friends who casually mention bleeding for literally days afterwards ??? like that’s something that’s totally normal and not a sign of serious physical trauma? rape culture is honestly so disgusting and so pervasive and women have to put up with so much and im like so tired of it
The vast majority of women who bled during their first time with PIV, or their first few times, were actually bleeding from their interior vaginal walls because they weren’t aroused enough for penetration. The hymen exists to protect the interior of the vagina during fetal development and it begins to wear away starting at birth. Most women who are ready and going slow will not experience any pain let alone bleeding. It’s not a “safety seal” for a woman’s sexuality.
This is all so heartbreakingly true. The first time I had sex he got MAD that i didnt bleed because he thought I lied about being a virgin. I tried to tell him I was just really turned on and it felt good for my first time but he broke up with me shortly after because “ All girls are suppose to bleed their first time, its how we know theyre pure” LEGIT THAT WAS THE REASON.
Absolutely true. When I had my first time I didn’t tell him I was a virgin, and it didn’t hurt or bleed at all. It was all very ok. [Dude turned out to be a jackass after, as the guy above, tho, but not about this] And I spent a long time to understand what could be wrong with me that my body didn’t work like it was supposed to, even though it pretty much did!
This idea brings women more and more far away from trying to be aroused in sex, by the notion that you don’t really need to enjoy it, you need to get used to sex. I know girls who bled in their first 10 to 20 times having sex and thought it was normal, because they were not used to it.
We live in a society which not only facilitates the abuse and assault of women but which also demands that they “prove it” by giving the intimate details of their trauma to courtrooms full of strangers (in some cases televised for the entire world)? That’s no kind of due process, it’s barbarity
And knowing what we do about trauma and the brain/body, and retraumatization, the fact that the process is still set up this way tells us that at best the justice system is indifferent to women’s emotional and physical health, and at worst it’s designed to punish them for telling the truth about men
The very concept of a training bra is so gross like,
“hey dear, you may be prepubescent, but we gotta acclimate you to having a piece of elastic wrapped around your lungs for the rest of your life. Let’s get an early start on those little indentations you’ll have on your shoulders forever. The boys snapping your straps will prepare you for all the misogynistic harrassment in your future too.”
Me: The what now?
“In 2006, Target stores began stocking a range of bras for three- to four-year-olds, Bratz bras for three- to four-year-olds, Saddle Club bras for four- to six-year-olds, and a lightly padded Target brand bra for eight- to 10-year-olds. Australian retailer Big W’s added a Just Girls padded bra for eight- to 10-year-olds and a My Little Pony bandeau bra for two- to three-year-olds, and Bonds in February 2006 marketed the “My First T-Shirt Bra” for ages eight and up.
“
What??? WHAT??? TWO YEARS???
W T F
THIS IS PEDOPHILE CULTURE
WTF?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
My mom told me it was so people couldn’t see “my buds” through my shirts
Sometimes I purposely have headphones in with no actual music to stop people from trying to talk to me. Enraging.
I had to stop reading. this made my brain hurt. if she has head phones leave her alone. if she is me leave me alone always and forever
This is rape culture
Lol unless you’re telling her the bus is here, it’s the last stop on a train, or some pertinent information, leave the damn woman and her headphones the fuck alone.
Fixed it.
Thank you I was about to throw my phone at a wall
Okay but… can someone tell me why this is so bad? I mean, all the article told you (as a guy) to do is walk up to a girl with headphones on, motion for her to take them off, and pay her a nice and non-creepy compliment. It then tells you to tell her you have somewhere to go soon, so that the girl in question doesn’t feel crowded or like she’s in a conversation she can’t get out of.
This seems perfectly fine to me… is there some subtext I’m missing or something??
Women get approached in public a lot.Usually this is unwanted. One of the things women now do to combat this is to make themselves unapproachable, and one of the best ways to do that is to have on headphones. Lots of women wear headphones even if they aren’t listening to music, just to avoid unwanted advances from men they don’t feel like talking to.
This article is basically saying, “how to get around the physical barrier women have put up so they don’t have to talk to you.” It’s the equivalent of “Oh, she built a moat? well here’s how to build a bridge!”
It’s assumptive, it’s entitled, and it furthers the idea that men deserve to talk to women no matter what the woman herself actually wants. It’s giving men tools to try to knock down barriers women have put up deliberately to avoid having to interact with them. It’s creepy as fuck, it’s rude, and it’s furthering rape culture–ie the idea that men have a right to a woman’s time, body, etc.
There are times and places women may wish to be approached. But if they have in headphones, it’s a damn good bet this isn’t one of them, so concocting strategies to approach them anyway is ignoring their wishes in favor of the man’s, and that’s not okay.
Fuck anyone who says rape culture doesn’t exist. Stories like this make me hate America more and more for treating women and girls with such dehumanization.
They literally gave a rape victim’s address out to the rapist himself. Words cannot describe how disgusted I am with this country’s justice system. There’s something very sinister about American’s desire to protect rapists.
Why are they calling a 12 year old a woman?!
This story is even worse than it looks… Apparently the State started this because she made an application for food stamps??
Please don’t forget this election season that circuit and district judges are also elected officials.
wupacing 