soaringsparrows:

rebelsofshield:

ninastestanin:

christmas-type-furret:

This is literally the most bomb-ass D&D story I’ve ever read in my life oh my god.

Holy shit ._.

Some RP sessions have better stories than actual fiction. I mean, goddamn.

For those having trouble reading the text:


We had a campaign in D&D where we assembled a steampunk-ish time machine. After many sessions travelling through time, uncovering mysteries and learning harsh lessons about changing history, we had to stop a time-travelling cult from destroying the gods, and therefore the world. We failed.

Our machine crashed, we were stranded earlier than we had ever been able to travel. We found the Gods, but only a few of them were present – it was as if some had never existed. Then we realised – we had to become those Gods. Our party was entirely divine (Cleric, Paladin, Avenger, Invoker), and each of us was a worshipper of a god who had been unmade – and we were the only people in existence with enough knowledge of the forgotten deities to assume their roles.

But two of the players were worshippers of Io (in his twin forms of Tiamat and Bahamut, who would of course form later after Io’s ‘death’), and only one could become Io. The other would have to be the un-created Asmodeus.

So the most just, honourable and dedicated Lawful Good paladin I’ve ever seen roleplayed became the god of tyranny and evil. If he hadn’t, the gods would never have defeated the primordials, and the world would never have been completed.

In our setting, Asmodeus is every bit the epitome of evil you would expect him to be. Nobody but the gods who abide his presence know him as otherwise. He adheres to his role because he knows he has to – and that in doing so, the world can exist. He can never tell anyone his duty, and no-one who knows can ever discuss it.

In the farthest recesses of the Nine Hells, in a chamber sealed tighter than any other in existence is a pocketwatch of finest gnome craft with a photo of his family in it – his wife, son, and little baby girl.

They were killed by an orc army marching under the orders and banner of Asmodeus. Their deaths are what drove him to become an adventurer.

gethporno:

dettiot:

vyrenrolar:

obstinatecondolement:

Are there any works in the post-apocalyptic genre with post-apocalyptic librarians? People who worked in the public library and after the Bad Thing decide to stay and keep the library clean, safe and available for anyone who needs it. People can’t remove books from the premises anymore, because they’re too precious, but you can stay as long as you want and read them or copy them out–the librarians encourage making copies, so that the information can circulate beyond the physical boundaries of the library. 

After a while it becomes an unspoken reality of the post apocalyptic society that you Just Don’t fuck with the library. You don’t fight there, you don’t steal from it, you don’t allow harm to come to librarians when they have to leave the building for supplies. 

People donate food and books and paper with no expectation of reciprocity, because the librarians don’t ask for anything when you need a place to hide or information or, fuck, to read a schlocky crime novel because you need to escape reality in some purple prose. 

i need this like water and also air

There aren’t any librarians, but there is a snippet in The Stand where characters make use of the Boulder Public Library. 

And it’s not quite the same thing, but after all, I’ve always thought one of the female supporting characters in The Day After Tomorrow worked at the New York Public Library, which is how she immediately knew what book to go to in order to figure out that Emmy Rossum’s character was dying of blood poisoning or whatever it was. 

(Side note: this librarian fully supports burning the tax code books if you need to survive.)

WHAT STATION ELEVEN SHOULD HAVE BEEN ABOUT

Writer things

woodelf68:

ripperblackstaff:

askfordoodles:

imaginesandothertrashahoy:

littleoptimistme:

– were street lamps invented in ww2????

– how much does an arm cost tho

– Everyone is nodded. All the heads are nodding in this conversation

– wait no it was raining wasn’t it *looks back ten pages* yeah okay why did i do that

– It’s still night right?

– It’s been night for like 30 years at this point

– what’s that guy’s name again? I should know this these are my babies

– I have no idea how you guys are going to get out of this alive so figure it out kids

– *googles* how to travel across Europe during the middle ages

– effects of the bubonic plague???

– shoot, comas don’t work like I want them to. I need a convenient coma

– Everyone has the ability to quirk one eyebrow why is this

– how smart are rats

– I think they’ve sighed like 30 times now

– how do i describe what its like to run a mile I’ve never done that in my life

– Im sure its just like super hard

– No one cares about the weather stop

– i just wrote twenty pages in two hours why cant i do this in school

– everyone smirks too much but what else do i say its not a smile its too sad for that

– and now everyone is just ‘smiling sadly’.

– chuckled sounds like santa clause but laugh is too much but snickered is evil but giggled is too bubbly…

– what is the purpose of a rubber duck

– no, don’t make references this is a serious piece of literature

– “now if I reverse the polarity of the neutron flow”

– okay i need tea and music and oh wow look at that someone liked my tumblr post…

yes.

“I need a convenient coma.”

-How many times have they cocked their eyebrows by now ?

There is no verb that encapsulates one quick, quiet little huff of laughter; trust me. I have tried all of your suggestions many times and none of them ever sound right.

jelloapocalypse:

jelloapocalypse:

rabbits-of-negative-euphoria:

the-mighty-birdy:

pain-and-missouri:

pain-and-missouri:

A hitman who advertises his services the way a commission artist does

“Um hey guys. I’ve been hit pretty hard with financial difficulty lately. I’d really appreciate it if you’d consider commissioning me.”

Stabbings: $45

Gunshots: $100

Poisonings: $200

Thanks you guys please share if you can! 
❤️❤️❤️

Commissions I will NOT take:

👎 Kids (Teens are fine tho)

👎 Bystanders

👎 Other Hitmen

If you want to know why, message me, but otherwise no hate pls ✨

hey guys, normally i try to keep drama off of my blog but this is really important. I just wanted to let you know that someone named WetWorkKing05 has been taking credit for MY kills over on redbloodle.com and is making money off of my hard work. When I messaged him directly he blocked me and threatened to kill ME >_> I’ve tried talking with the mods about getting his account taken down, but redbloodle has NO policy for this and they are no help at all. i don’t know what to do??

PLS signal boost if you can! And in the meantime, if you need somebody killed, do NOT hire WetWorkKing05! he is a THIEF!

repeat after me:

MURDER

👏

THEFT

👏

IS

👏

A

👏

WORSE

👏

CRIME

👏

THAN

👏 REGULAR  👏

MURDER 

👏

31-rabbits:

aliensnipe:

What if there were women’s cleanliness products that were marketed the way Old Spice stuff is? Like they had names like “Lioness” and “Sycamore” and “Wildfire” and “Hunter’s Moon” and they were touted as making you smell like a warrior queen who does not suffer fools and conquers all she beholds

HELLO LADIES

have you felt the primal call of the unmerciful sea calling you to strike down those who would defy you? no? well if you stopped using overpriced flower-scented body wash and switched to SEA HAG, you might. 

look down.

back up. where are you? you’re a siren, bare-breasted and shrieking as you lure the unwary to their doom on the rocks below. and you smell amazing. 

what’s in your hand? back at me. it’s a vial of skin-nourishing ingredients, derived from the seaweed you used to strangle a hated foe. it does wonders for your skin tone and resilience, and we all can agree that we will need that resilience in the coming war.

look again: the seaweed is now a formal apology from the last man who unnecessarily tried to explain something to you.

anything is possible when you smell like a vengeful sea witch and embrace your own rage. i’m on a narwhal. 

Synonyms For Very

stuckupbitchandthebutthurtbunch:

living-that-library-lifestyle:

writing-masterlists:

This masterlist is a masterlist of words that you may use alongside the word very, very being one of the most common words that are used when writing. I hope this helps you as much as it helps me in our writing seem more sophisticated and unique. 

A:

Very accurate – exact
Very afraid – fearful
Very angry – furious
Very annoying – exasperating

B:

Very bad – atrocious
Very beautiful – exquisite
Very big – immense
Very boring – dull
Very bright – luminous
Very busy – swamped

C:

Very calm – serene
Very careful – cautious
Very cheap – stingy
Very clean – spotless
Very clear – obvious
Very clever – intelligent
Very cold – freezing
Very colourful – vibrant
Very competitive – cutthroat
Very complete – comprehensive
Very confused – perplexed
Very conventional – conservative
Very creative – innovative
Very crowded – bustling
Very cute – adorable

D:

Very dangerous – perilous
Very dear – cherished
Very deep – profound
Very depressed – despondent
Very detailed – meticulous
Very different – disparate
Very difficult – arduous
Very dirty – filthy
Very dry – arid
Very dull – tedious

E:

Very eager – keen
Very easy – effortless
Very empty – desolate
Very excited – thrilled
Very exciting – exhilarating
Very expensive – costly

F:

Very fancy – lavish
Very fast – swift
Very fat – obese
Very friendly – amiable
Very frightened – alarmed
Very frightening – terrifying
Very funny – hilarious

G:

Very glad – overjoyed
Very good – excellent
Very great – terrific

H:

Very happy – ecstatic
Very hard – difficult
Very hard-to-find – rare
Very heavy – leaden
Very high – soaring
Very hot – sweltering
Very huge – colossal
Very hungry – ravenous
Very hurt – battered

I:

Very important – crucial
Very intelligent – brilliant
Very interesting – captivating

J:

K:

L:

Very large – huge
Very lazy – indolent
Very little – tiny
Very lively – vivacious
Very long – extensive
Very long-term – enduring
Very loose – slack
Very loud – thunderous
Very loved – adored

M:

Very mean – cruel
Very messy – slovenly

N:

Very neat – immaculate
Very necessary – essential
Very nervous – apprehensive
Very nice – kind
Very noisy – deafening

O:

Very often – frequently
Very old – ancient
Very old-fashioned – archaic
Very open – transparent

P:

Very painful – excruciating
Very pale – ashen
Very perfect – flawless
Very poor – destitute
Very powerful – compelling
Very pretty – beautiful

Q:

Very quick – rapid
Very quiet – hushed

R:

Very rainy – pouring
Very rich – wealthy

S:

Very sad – sorrowful
Very scared – petrified
Very scary – chilling
Very serious – grave
Very sharp – keen
Very shiny – gleaming
Very short – brief
Very shy – timid
Very simple – basic
Very skinny – skeletal
Very slow – sluggish
Very small – petite
Very smart – intelligent
Very smelly – pungent
Very smooth – sleek
Very soft – downy
Very sorry – apologetic
Very special – exceptional
Very strong – forceful
Very stupid – idiotic
Very sure – certain
Very sweet – thoughtful

T:

Very talented – gifted
Very tall – towering
Very tasty – delicious
Very thirsty – parched
Very tight – constricting
Very tiny minuscule
Very tired – exhausted

U:

Very ugly – hideous
Very unhappy – miserable
Very upset – distraught

V:

W:

Very warm – hot
Very weak – frail
Very well-to-do – wealthy
Very wet – soaked
Very wide – expansive
Very willing – eager
Very windy – blustery
Very wise – sage
Very worried – distressed

X:

Y:

Z:

A/N: If you know of anymore words I can add please message me.

This is very important 😉

Reblog to save a writer’s life.

yumearashi:

whumprat:

good shit: when a character with a reputation for being selfish and uncaring gets injured while doing something to protect others

good shit: when they pretend they’re not injured and did nothing to protect anyone, because they want to keep up that selfish reputation

good shit: when the characters they were protecting only find out about any of this when the character collapses from the injuries they’re trying to hide

GOOD SHIT: when the characters they were protecting frantically perform first aid/transport them to receive medical care, insist on staying by the character’s side until they wake up, then nurse them back to health