Tag: rl

araniaart:

vanerdsa:

bpdmum:

you ever just sit and realise u can’t remember 80% of your childhood? like … what happened? who am i ..?

Many people in the comments are saying “trauma”, but this is actually a very normal occurrence. It’s called Childhood Amnesia, and it’s a process which, as the brain reorganizes itself for cognitive thought that is developed in late childhood, it changes the Accessibility of those memories during recall. Many childhood memories are available to the person, but they will not be remembered during regular recall activity, you have to “trick” your brain into remembering with different tactics.

This is because there are two parts to memories – their encoding and their recall. The encoding determines their availability, their recall determines their accessibility. The reason why trauma memory and childhood amnesia are different is in this distinction. Trauma memory is often encoded differently, bypassing to the limbic system where it is stored as intrinsic memory. It can’t be recalled because it was never encoded. Childhood amnesia, however, seems to indicate that the memories are encoded, but we lose access to them as we age. This is most likely due to the development of brain structures that fundamentally change our encoding and recall of memory as we get older.

This is an important distinction, because trauma memory is “stored in the body”, i.e. you get triggers that send your body into a cascade of uncontrollable feelings, sensations and reactions. Whereas childhood memories won’t generally do that, they are just recalled at odd times with odd associations.

the old files aren’t compatible with the current OS

Reasons why Millennials prefer e-mail to phone in a work environment:

anais-ninja-bitch:

rafi-dangelo:

1) We don’t want to talk to you.

2) We don’t want to pause our music to talk to you.

3) We don’t even talk to each other on the phone — why would we want to talk to you?

But the biggest reason is A TRAIL. If I e-mail you back, you can see what was said in the future. You can’t tell me I forgot to tell you something because it’s right there. You can’t tell me I “never reached out” because we can both SEE it. I don’t have to trust your recollection.

And, in a group inbox, you can see who has been responded to. I got forwarded a voicemail from my supervisor (through e-mail! imagine that!) asking me to call some lady back for clarification. So I did, against my will of course…and she said somebody had called her yesterday.

Who? When? What did y’all talk about? Is follow-up necessary?

Phone calls back and forth only work in a workflow where the standard procedure is to *log* phone calls in a shared system with a brief summary of what was discussed. Otherwise, y’all need to let us e-mail. It’s not just about a generation gap. It’s also about efficiency.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk. Any feedback can be proffered via e-mail.

EDIT

Also: let’s keep it real – we multi-task better than you do. If I’m on the phone with you, I’m FORCED to do that ONE thing and put whatever you want above all the other things I could’ve been doing. If you e-mail me, I can research what you want (while doing other things), find the solution (while doing other things), and offer it to you in a nice concise package (while doing other things) without sitting on the phone with you in awkward silence looking for the answer to whatever you think is urgent. (It’s not urgent. You’re not dying. I know it’s not urgent.)

OP is being kind in saying “i don’t have to trust your recollection.” people straight up lie, especially customers.

mmcoconut:

It’s out!

I illustrated for Disney’s MULAN book “Mulan’s Lunar New Year”, (you can see the book here!) a children’s book about little Mulan spending Lunar New Year with her family.

It’s my first book and I want to share some illustrations  😀 [*will also have this book at my table at CTNx 2018 this year on display!]

Looking back, there are lots that I want to improve on the crafting of my drawings for this book, but overall… I’m really glad I get to illustrate and to remember the joy and excitement I had celebrating Lunar New Years and lighting fireworks with my parents as a kid.

It was pretty magical.

budgetrealgood:

“Self-care is often a very unbeautiful thing.

It is making a spreadsheet of your debt and enforcing a morning routine and cooking yourself healthy meals and no longer just running from your problems and calling the distraction a solution.

It is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore or get a second job so you can have a savings account or figure out a way to accept yourself so that you’re not constantly exhausted from trying to be everything, all the time and then needing to take deliberate, mandated breaks from living to do basic things like drop some oil into a bath and read Marie Claire and turn your phone off for the day.

A world in which self-care has to be such a trendy topic is a world that is sick. Self-care should not be something we resort to because we are so absolutely exhausted that we need some reprieve from our own relentless internal pressure.

True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.

And that often takes doing the thing you least want to do.

It often means looking your failures and disappointments square in the eye and re-strategizing. It is not satiating your immediate desires. It is letting go. It is choosing new. It is disappointing some people. It is making sacrifices for others. It is living a way that other people won’t, so maybe you can live in a way that other people can’t.

It is letting yourself be normal. Regular. Unexceptional. It is sometimes having a dirty kitchen and deciding your ultimate goal in life isn’t going to be having abs and keeping up with your fake friends. It is deciding how much of your anxiety comes from not actualizing your latent potential, and how much comes from the way you were being trained to think before you even knew what was happening.

If you find yourself having to regularly indulge in consumer self-care, it’s because you are disconnected from actual self-care, which has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a whole lot do with parenting yourself and making choices for your long-term wellness.

It is no longer using your hectic and unreasonable life as justification for self-sabotage in the form of liquor and procrastination. It is learning how to stop trying to “fix yourself” and start trying to take care of yourself… and maybe finding that taking care lovingly attends to a lot of the problems you were trying to fix in the first place.

It means being the hero of your life, not the victim. It means rewiring what you have until your everyday life isn’t something you need therapy to recover from. It is no longer choosing a life that looks good over a life that feels good. It is giving the hell up on some goals so you can care about others. It is being honest even if that means you aren’t universally liked. It is meeting your own needs so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people.

It is becoming the person you know you want and are meant to be. Someone who knows that salt baths and chocolate cake are ways to enjoy life – not escape from it.”

–Brianna Wiest, in Thought Catalog

catchmewhispering:

The hilarious thing about growing up, that all the ageist people here are gonna very harshly realise, is getting older doesn’t actually feel like anything. You don’t “turn into” an adult, it’s just another year that passes and, sure, it might become easier to make decisions or figure out how to fix a sticky situation but overall, you don’t suddenly Enter Adult World and never have a goofy thought or a messy moment ever again. You don’t just suddenly start reading the newspaper or hating music you loved the year before, or wanting to drink less alcohol, in fact you want to drink more because you’re old enough to know your limits and sometimes you’re old enough to say fuck it and go past your limit. There’s no set point where you magically start to feel Like An Adult, you just are one. That’s it. Nothing anyone can do about it. The only situation I could imagine someone feeling a very quick shift from teen to adult is losing a key family member and having to step up as a legal guardian for a younger sibling or relative. Or perhaps having a baby at a young age. Otherwise, you’re just slowly gaining more and more knowledge and understanding of yourself and the world and learning things in a different context to when you were 15, but there’s no monumental shift into Boring No Fun Adult once you pass 21, people will say “You’ve grown up” and you’ll be like “Yes ok in some ways, definitely, and in other ways I’m still very much a bratty 16 year old who wants to eat ice cream for breakfast″. 

The secret to adulthood is everyone is just doing the best they can with what they know.

slumberinggirl:

averagefairy:

ok can we agree that the WORST feeling is when you’re just sitting around consciously procrastinating and you’re just overly aware that each second that passes is more time wasted and you like watch hours pass and you’re STILL procrastinating and you CANT STOP and your panicked brain is trapped inside a body that refuses to be productive and inside you’re screaming but outwardly you’re just eating chips 

Mood