one of the v. important things the movies missed about ron is just like, how down to fight he was at all times. like not even duel just he was always ready to physically beat the shit out of people who insulted his family or friends and WOULD if no one stopped him.
there are so many points in the books where its just casually dropped in ‘and so Harry and/or Hermione had to physically restrain Ron’ usually from Malfoy but if Harry or Hermione weren’t paying attention it became ‘and so Ron punched Malfoy in the face’.
Like, Ron cursing Malfoy for calling Hermione Mudblood wasnt just a one off thing like every time he did that in the future when Ron was there it was like ‘ron had to be stopped from ending Malfoy’s life’ just thrown in there. Same for any other severe insults.
My absolute favorite instance of this is in the first book when they’re just watching a Quidditch game and Malfoy just starts bothering Ron and Hermione during it and is finally like ‘man its pretty funny how the Gryffindor quidditch team is recruited based on pity like y’know Potter has no parents, Weasley’s brothers have no money they should include Longbottom for having no brains” and Ron just flings himself at Malfoy and starts punching him and rolling around under the bleachers and Neville is like “uh shit i guess i better fight CRABBE AND GOYLE BOTH AT ONCE so they don’t go after him” (very underrated moment of courage from Neville he knew he had no chance but he just went for it honestly almost more impressive than confronting Voldemort in book 7)
and they’re just fighting for like twenty minutes and Hermione doesn’t even notice because she was so focused on tuning Malfoy out and watching the game and when its over she looks around like “where’d ron go” and then later its mentioned “Harry sees Ron and his face is covered in blood and he’s like “GOOD JOB WINNING THE GAME HARRY I GAVE MALFOY A BLACK EYE SO WE BOTH DID GREAT THINGS TONIGHT oh btw i have detention for a week and neville’s unconcious but they say he’ll be fine”.
• Because Minerva McGonagall isn’t gonna let an eleven year old kid beat her at sudden death chess and get away with it.
• Ron is a really good president just ‘cos all he expects from members is that they try. You can be horrible at chess (Harry) or extremely good at it (Dean Thomas and his deft hands), and it doesn’t matter in the end because Ron’ll clap you on the back anyway and say, “Good game, mate.”
• Meetings are held in the library because Madam Pince has always had a softness for wizard chess and trusts Minerva when she promises that no one will [probably] get blown up. (Seamus Finnigan whistles innocently somewhere in the background.)
• The library is actually the perfect place for it. The atmosphere is charming. Books are floating around their heads all the time—some leaning down curiously to watch, others being plucked lovingly from the air by Hermione. The usual quiet is exchanged for whispered exclamations and barely stifled sniggers, and just this once, Madam Pince doesn’t mind. Oh, and the light coming in through the colored windows shines on the pieces in a really beautiful way, I tell ya—reds, blues, and golds flickering off kings and queens like badges of honor. (Everyone kinda loves it.)
• THE GOOD: (i.) Dean Thomas: Vice President. His games are works of art. Dean Thomas is a work of art. (ii.) Justin Finch-Fletchley: He used to play chess all of the time with his muggle grandpa. It took him a little bit to get used to all the moving pieces, though. (iii.) Susan Bones: She learned precision from her aunt and applies it nicely to the chessboard. (iv.) Astoria Greengrass: Boredom and a desire to do something interesting has bred a mean chess player out of little Miss Greengrass. (v.) Cho Chang: Cho doesn’t get to attend all of the meetings because of Quidditch, but she’ll pop in occasionally and make fools out of anyone who dares to cross her. #RavenclawPride
• THE OKAY?: (i.) Hermione Granger: Hermione’s not bad per say. She’d be better if she would stop overthinking every, single move. (ii.) Michael Corner: He’s a bit of a sore loser. (iii.) Neville Longbottom: He’s actually a pretty decent player—just needs a bit of polishing around the edges. Neville likes the patience of chess, how he can sit and think a little while before he has to make a move. (iv.) George Weasley: In many of his and Fred’s wonderful schemes, he’s been responsible for the finer details of the prank, the complexities and the nuances. His attention to detail makes him a player to contend with.
The UGLY:
(i.) Harry Potter: Harry J is constantly distracted by everything and everyone in his tragic life to be any good at chess, but he wouldn’t miss a meeting for the world. Ron gets this big, stupid grin on his face when he’s playing that’s worth every second of it. (ii.) Draco Malfoy: “Did you see the way Potter moved his chess piece? It wasn’t very graceful, was it? I’m much better than Potter. Besides, chess is for inferior people. LIKE POTTER. Have I mentioned that I’m better than Potter?” “Oi, Draco, you lost.” “Oh.” (iii.) Daphne Greengrass: She only joined because her sister made her. Most of the time, she just sits in the corner and reads a wizard comic. Nerd. (iv.) Ernie Macmillan: Brags ceaselessly when he wins. Threatens to quit when he loses. Finally acts on his words when Astoria creams him with many pawns to spare.
HONORABLE MENTIONS: (i.) Seamus Finnigan: Did not blow a single person up. (ii.) Fred Weasley: Isn’t really interested in the chess part, but enjoys alternating between cheering his brothers on and pranking them. (iii.) Hannah Abbott: Her weary apologies for Ernie’s pompous behavior should be duly noted. (iv.) Luna Lovegood/Dobby: Their collaborative banners for the club are lovely.
• In light of Dumbledore’s Army, the Hogwarts Chess Club is later renamed Dumbledore’s Pawns. Too on the nose?
• Over the course of the club, there are certain match ups that everyone gets really hyped over: Dean vs. Ron, Draco vs. Harry (even though both of them are horrible at it), Astoria vs. Ron, etc. But no game is more anticipated than the occasional one that Minnie McGee and Ron play. It’s epic. The pieces are all but broken by the time they finish up. At the end of Ron’s sixth year, the record is in his favor, but only just.
• (Quite a few Weasleys have come and gone in Minerva’s time at Hogwarts—many of them extremely gifted and well liked by her—but for this, for his prowess at a game that she loves, she will always have a particular fondness for Ron.)
• Other teachers stop in to play, too. Flitwick and Pince have a delightful rivalry. Snape has never beaten Minerva McGonagall for all his sneering. Lupin is okay, but his main contribution to the club is giving chocolate to unsuspecting members. (Where does he get his supply??? Does it just randomly appear up his sleeve?????) Dumbledore himself once popped in, won against Ron and Minerva alike with a twinkle in his eye, and then Apparated out of the library just because he knew Miss Granger’s mouth would fall open.
• You have to admit, that man has style.
• Just Hogwarts chess club, y’all.
• I think Ron would love it just as much as his Chocolate Frog card. (Okay, maybe a little less.)
Okay but I kind of feel like Luna would be in the top five players, at least. Here’s why.
A lot of what makes a player good at chess is knowing your openings and knowing your lines. I think Luna would know hundreds of obscure variants, generally considered inferior and therefore neglected to the point that, at the school-age level, most players wouldn’t know how to play against them. It’s a long time before you get past “Queen’s gambit is bad” to “Here is why nobody plays Queen’s gambit, this specific response to it leaves you hopelessly devastated by move 20″ to “well actually it turns out if you both play the best lines, Queen’s gambit is a bit of a toss-up” and Luna would play things like Nimzo-Indian that the chess world has largely moved past but that only McG and Dumbledore (and maybe Snape) really know how to play against. Ron doesn’t actually know the lines, but can usually play her to a hard fought draw or a very narrow victory or loss just by his good instincts for the game.
In short, Luna’s the player that the older students watch her and think “what is she doing, she’s so awful, ow do you people keep losing to her” and the teachers are thinking “here is a dangerous person who is going to get a lot of mileage out of making people underrate her” and Luna’s thinking “no, that move isn’t pretty enough, because the Knight doesn’t get to dance with the Queen.”
how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”
#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)
Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.
Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON
I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.
Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day.
Yes. Good.
Actually, all three of them should have become professors. Hermione would have become Headmistress, of course–youngest Headmistress of Hogwarts ever, and the only one willing to turn the portraits of her predecessors to the wall if they gave her too much lip about her efforts to modernize the curriculum. (She probably started as Transfiguration professor after McGonagall became Headmistress, but it wouldn’t surprise me if McGonagall was grooming her for the Headmistress job all along.)
And Ron took over as flying instructor for Professor Hooch; everyone thinks he’s an easy A because he’s so mellow and silly and hands out candy for good performances and his brother and sister sometimes visit the class to show off some of their old Quidditch moves and give away Wizard Wheezes to the best fliers, and it’s not until they talk to someone else from a different school or era that they realize that flying is actually really difficult to learn and Ron just found ways to slip all the teaching in under the fun so that they didn’t even notice. Things that seemed like silly tricks or goofy jokes turned out to be mnemonics for complex maneuvers, and of course nobody ever wanted to skip a class under his tutelage.
thisTHIS
Okay all other canon epilogues can go home, this is the best.
I love how casually knowledgeable Ronald Weasley is, talking facts, including the year and the venue
like that.
Charlie studied dragons. Ron isn’t just casually knowledgeable, he takes an interest in his brothers’ hobbies
I’ll bet it wasn’t just an interest. In fact, I’ll bet those exact words were repeated in the Weasley household on a weekly, if not daily, basis.
“But Mum, my mate’s cousin’s sister’s uncle has the egg just ready to go and honestly, who better to take care of things than us, because after all—?”
“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”
“Dad, seriously, the guy in the alleyway was practically begging me to take the egg and I mean—”
“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”
“Good morning, family, let’s say I managed to convert my bedroom into a habitat suitable for a Chinese Fireball, wouldn’t that show that I’m respons—”
“Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, Charlie!”
It’s just on a gigantic af poster in the middle of the Burrow’s kitchen. Hanging right there above the tea kettle: 𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕕𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕨𝕒𝕤 𝕠𝕦𝕥𝕝𝕒𝕨𝕖𝕕 𝕓𝕪 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕎𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕠𝕔𝕜𝕤’ ℂ𝕠𝕟𝕧𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕠𝕗 𝟙𝟟𝟘𝟡, ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕣𝕝𝕚𝕖!
It just wasn’t mentioned because it wasn’t relevant to Harry’s journey.
Headcanon that an outraged 6-year-old Charlie Weasley writes to an elderly Newt Scamander wanting to know why Gringotts keeps a dragon locked up underground and begging him to fix it. Newt writes back saying that sadly he’s been fighting that fight for years and no one ever wants to listen to him because the powerful families whose money is being kept safe by the dragon always shut him down, and that Charlie is the first person he’s heard of who’s as angry as he is about it. Charlie decides that day to dedicate his life to finding out everything he can about dragons so that one day he can free the poor Gringotts dragon. After the war, when they hear that Harry, Ron and Hermione freed the dragon, they celebrate and immediately begin petitioning to have it made illegal to imprison dragons so that nothing like that ever happens again. It’s only when Hermione becomes Minister that it’s finally signed into law.
This is the best Harry Potter headcanon I’ve ever seen
yes yes yes
Just imagine how that conversation would go though, like Charlie’s been learning about dragons his whole life, studying them, learning about the laws surrounding them, practising the jailbreak of dragons by smuggling one out of Hogwarts, preparing for the moment when, one day, he can free the Ukrainian Ironbelly from Gringotts.
And Ron’s like “Oh, yeah, don’t worry about it—we broke into Gringotts and used him as our get-away vehicle. He’s just chilling in the wilds somewhere now so, yeah. Job done.”
I want an AU where Ron, completely convinced that he’s overshadowed by all his brothers and will never be as remarkable or as well-recognised as any of them, just accidentally achieves all of their major life goals without noticing. They’re all super jealous and think of him as The Golden Brother and he’s completely clueless.
I’m not sure this is an AU to be honest. I mean:
Bill Weasley: Curse-breaker, works for Gringotts breaking into cursed tombs and distributing valuables to heirs. Ron Weasley both broke into Gringotts itself and destroyed the ultimate cursed object, a Horcrux. Check.
Charlie Weasley: Aforementioned dragon stuff. Check.
Percy Weasley: Social climber, status seeker, desperate for attention and approval from his superiors. Ron: Literally married to the actual Minister of Magic. Check.
Someone else add on to this with Weasley-twin eclipsing stunts and hijinks, I’m sure there are some but my brain isn’t thinking of them right now.
Charlie:
The twins had it worse than anyone.
They wanted to be the worst troublemakers Hogwarts has ever seen?
Ron stole a flying car, flew it from London to Scotland (breaking the international statute of secrecy so many times in the process), and then crashed it into the Whomping Willow. In his second year.
They wanted to use the Marauders Map to learn all the secrets of Hogwarts castle?
Ron helped discover the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets, managed to sneak into the Slytherin common room and had weekly meetings in the Room of Requirement. Oh, and he also managed to top it all of by discovering the secret of the Marauders Map itself.
They wanted to at least make sure that they ended their last year at Hogwarts as the main talking point in the school— y’know, since they put so much effort into all those cool pranks and things?
Ron only goes and takes part in a battle at the Ministry of Magic, during which actual Lord fucking Voldemort shows up and posesses his best friend, safely ensuring that nobody’s going to be talking about that cool swamp the Weasley twins made anymore.
One of the main reasons they started Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes was that they knew that Ron wasn’t interested in starting a business and so was unlikely to one-up them in that regard (and then he ended up becoming a partner in the business…)
For years, whenever Ginny confided in her older brothers about her crush on Harry, it was a running joke with all of them except Ron (who never knew about it) to tell her that she’d better get a move on, whatever happened, lest Ron steal her dream too and propose to Harry.
I’m rereading prisoner of azkaban and fully appreciating how wild it is that of all the people ron could have made friends with, it’s the guy whose parents were murdered by his pet rat.
wupacing 