Tag: steve rogers

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

spideyandstark:

couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name:

personally I like to think steve’s birthday isn’t actually July 4th but someone asked him when his birthday was when he was doing his little show tour thingy and he just said it as an accident and/or a panic response in a bid to seem even more patriotic and everyone believed him and now it’s like 100 years later and he’s too deep in the lie to back out now bc he knows all the avenger’s would fucking publicly roast him if he admitted july 4th wasn’t actually his birthday- like he would literally never live that down- so he lives his life in fear that some bitch ass historian is gonna find his birth certificate and expose him 

avengers: happy birthday, steve!

bucky, eyes narrowing: what the fuck your birthday isn’t until-

steve, holding back tears: shut up

Bucky tries to hand him a birthday card one cold December day, and Steve tackles him out a window before anyone else can see what he’s holding

theirtinywings:

samjohnssonvt:

gryphonrhi:

thezhenger:

chris control your goddamn face you have just gone through an extremely painful super-serum transformation you did not just have the diddly doo orgasm

…actually, at this point, Steve’s just now experiencing the sudden absence of both recent extreme pain and long-term low level pain.  He’s probably so high on endorphins that the expression is completely accurate.

Also, he was asthmatic. This is the first time in twenty years that his lungs work. Ever had an oxygen high?

Might not be an O-face folks, but homeboys high as a kite.

stonyslovestory:

unpretty:

okay so i had been spoilered all to hell already about captain america

but

i had assumed it was like other marvel stuff, where falcon is a shield agent, and that “on your left” came out of some kind of shield exercise thing

BUT NO

IT WAS LITERALLY JUST STEVE ROGERS FUCKING WITH A STRANGER

HE JUST THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUNNY TO FUCK WITH A DUDE HE DIDN’T EVEN KNOW

HOW OFTEN DOES HE DO THAT

is steve rogers just fucking with people constantly bill murray style

does he steal french fries from strangers and tell them no one will ever believe them

does he lift cars when only small children are looking

did steve realize that captain america had a bizarrely wholesome reputation and use it as a way to prank people blamelessly

Yes. Obviously.

orangeyjuicy:

jasmancer:

jasmancer:

Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram

HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP

Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great

sexy-sebas:

elijah-casteon:

mar-gega:

xvigilante-writerx:

wxrmxchinerox:

imabookworm31:

tonys-snark:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

captainamericasbiggestfan:

soldier-out-of-time:

to-see-floating-lanterns-gleam:

soldier-out-of-time:

ask-the-mockingbird:

AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

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AYE AYE CAPTAIN!

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CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

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CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

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CAP-TAIN ROG-ERS!

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[x]

Is this gonna be a thing every 4th of July ?

YES.

I think I’m in love with the op’s

I will always reblog this every July 4th.

I’ve been looking for this since forever

stigmartyr762:

crescenteluce:

rhymewithrachel:

thecastingcircle:

rhymewithrachel:

there’s a special place in my heart for tabloids that are straight up slander

It all makes sense now… Iron Man and Spiderman both have the same last name…….

the proof is out there

Rhodes tells all is my absolute fave part bci love the idea of rhodey eating a pizza on the couch in avengers tower, taking revenge on tony for screwing with his suit, TMZ on speaker, going: ‘ya, the kid’s his son [chewing] who’s the mother? [more chewing] uhhh black widow [chewing] they’re both spiders, you see. [taking a sip from his soda] why it didn’t work out? well, tony cheated on her with uhhh [steve walks in, waves at rhodey] with captain america. yeah it was very bad for team morale.’ 

As much as I dislike gossip rags, if I lived in the MCU I would be a regular subscriber of super hero tabloids.

smarterest:

jdmsrovia:

fucking flamed

I’m whEEZINF OH MY GOD TONYS FACE. “Rhodey.”

“What?”

“What time is it?”

“What? What do you mean—why?”

“Listen, Cap and I have our differences but I have enough respect for him to put that aside and mark down his exact time of death.”

“Oh my god.”

“All I’m saying is Hydra’s been trying since the forties but Captain America was murdered in cold blood right here right now by a high schooler.”

“Tony—“

“The ice couldn’t even do it but that’s because no amount of arctic ice in the world could measure up to the iconic freezer burn my kid just gave him.”