Shout out to all my straight sisters I’m so sorry 😞
Jesus, leave his ass.
We learn fast to be very kind and attentive, tho.
My mom, who got her degree in Marriage and Family Counseling when she was 60, says studies show that women will sometimes sometimes leave a long term relationship to live on their own for a while before seeking a new relationship, but men will almost never leave a long term relationship without having a new relationship either in progress or just beginning. They don’t want to give up the caretaker they have without another one on deck or in the wings.
This is so sad
This isnt cute or quirky. This means hes a fucking hopeless user
Please date a man who actually acts like an adult.
Ok I lived with my ex for 2 years and he literally wouldn’t be able to get his own food if I wasn’t at home, I’d get home from work and he’d be angry at me for “making him starve”
My current partner has lived on his own for 8 years and the absolute most I have to help him with is maybe sending him $20 so he can make a bill payment on time
It made me realise for 2-4 years I wasn’t a girlfriend I was a fucking mother
Men who have been independent are capable of reverting if given the slightest excuse. When we married, my ex husband was 10 years older than me and had lived on his own for 8ish years. Yet (and I allowed this until I finally got fed up and took us to counseling) I did 80% of the cooking, because I was better at it. Same with the cleaning, shopping, social planning, etc.
After I left, in the first six months I got texts or calls asking me to please tell him:
The online banking password (dude, I left you, you should really change that)
Where I ordered his special-wecial organic underwear
Where the good cutting board was (my dad gave it to us at our wedding, genius, I took it with me along with the rest of the stuff from my family)
What brand butter we bought
What brand of local kielbasa we bought
Who his doctor was
What RMV office had the shortest lines
Where the old tax returns were (in the fucking box labeled tax returns)
The phone number for his best friend
I shit you not.
Then he had a heart attack (mild) and none of his family or friends were around to take him to the hospital. But instead of calling 911, he called me, who by then lived 45 minutes away. He lived 5 minutes from an EMS dispatch location. He called me, despite the fact that he didn’t believe me 8 months prior when I was feeling suicidal and I had to call a cab to go alone to check myself into the hospital for a 72-hour hold. I told him to call 911, hung up on him when he whined about “making a fuss”, called 911, called his siblings and then texted them “your brother is having a heart attack, I called 911 for him, come home,” and washed my hands of it.
Emotionally vacant men who won’t do household labor or emotional labor are not Nazis, but they aren’t good people, either, and you don’t have to put up with their shit.
Millennial women of Tumblr, please read this post.
And then please: make the decision for yourself to never stay with a man who expects you to be his mother and servant.
Oh my god, food extract is not the same as an essential oil.
Food extract is the flavoring of something cooked down into a carrier oil or alcohol that is safe for human ingestion.
Essential oil is the pure extract of the plant refined down and distilled for concentrated medicinal purposes to a significantly higher strength than simply adding ground up mint leaves to your water. The two are not comparable in any way.
Cinnamon extract and cinnamon essential oil are not the same thing.
One is about 100 times the strength of the other and can also cause acute organ failure. I’ll give you a hint, it’s not the food extract.
Sweet gods I’m not trying to be mean, I want you to be aware and safe and stop putting yourselves and others at risk. Please.
Like maybe my tone is hard to read, maybe it just comes off as really angry but it’s not, it’s fear and worry. I read posts and clutch my head in alarm going “no! No! That’s how people die!” And then I get exasperated because a bunch of people not formally qualified chime in with “um actually this is a lie” and it’s not, it’s really, really not.
I’m not some big pharma advocate. I’m a crunchy witch hippy just like you with salt rock lamps and rose quartz all over my house. I just happen to have spent the last 15 years of my life studying the actual science of holistic medicines and I’m trying to help you not get hurt (or worse) becuase you trusted a sales person with no idea what the ever loving hell they were talking about beyond a sales pitch designed to maximize profit. Gah.
I see this so often in the Mommy world. There was a lady not long ago in one of the mom groups who was really worried about her toddler. He’d had a persistent cough for weeks and the doctor couldn’t figure out why. Someone asked, well what have to tried to treat it with, so far? She said she was using a humidifier, honey, and eucalyptus EO in the shower every night.
Yeah.
In case you were wondering, eucalyptus can cause respiratory distress in young children.
Sadly I don’t wonder. I have a friend whose daughter died from a home made menthol oil chest rub. She wasn’t even ten yet, but her mom– a qualified aromatherapist– thought she’d be old enough to handle it. She went into respitory distress and died seizing in her mother’s arms on route to the hospital. It was one of the most harrowing stories I had to listen to during my holistic training. She stood up there, on this podium next to a bunch of ponzy scheme essential oil sellers who looked like they wanted the floor to swallow them, and said “I killed my child with good intentions”.
I’ll never forget the look on her face.
So to reiterate, children under the age of ten should not be directly exposed to things like eucalyptus oil, peppermint or wintergreen. If you are using such things in your house and your child starts to complain of headaches, lethargy and general “feel worse”, don’t just assume it’s the cold/flu. Those are all signs of menthol sensitivity and they only get worse with increased exposure. Ventilate the room, take them outside if you can until the air clears. Do not apply again.
Rapid onset wheezing may be a sign of allergic reaction or possible asthma attack triggered by the menthol too. If they tell you their chest is warm or fuzzy when you use it, that’s another sign it’s not going down well with them. Again, ventilate the area or remove anything you applied to them. Administer inhalers if necessary. Watch for any more labored breathing or if they suddenly go limp or you can’t wake them up. If they do call 911.
This can also apply to people with allergies and asthma who are otherwise healthy.
One of the safest, natural ways to alleviate congestion is with just pure good old fashioned warm steam. Keep the air moist, drink plenty of warm fluids. Menthol can help relieve the feeling of congestion, but there’s limited evidence to suggest it actually clears the airways. And for the love of god don’t inhale mustard or horseradish (I’ve seen that suggestion on posts too, though how you’d get those oils I don’t know). That’s literally what tear gas is made of.
I apologize sincerely for bringing this long post back into your lives, fam, but I’m getting inundated with questions about what can the possible harm be if you dab a little neat peppermint oil on your child’s skin to help them with a little head cold, and this is the most succinct way I can put it.
The harm you may do, is in fact death. I am not telling you these things to be a kill joy, I’m telling you so you won’t accidentally kill yours.
I did this last year and inexplicably turned out to be eligible for Medicaid in WV, which I STILL have. Absolute and total lifechanger that’s letting me go to school instead of having to work full time.
Copying @xfreischutz‘s tags because it was a really good point. The dates for now are the same as last year. Get out there and get you your health insurance!
(Personal note: I qualified for Medicaid in Pennsylvania last year and I wasn’t expecting it. It really does help if you do it.)
“A federal judge has ordered Georgia Republicans to protect all provisional ballots and allow voters to check and see if their vote was counted.
“A federal court in Atlanta on Monday issued an order requiring the state to take a number of steps to protect voters who had to cast provisional ballots because of registration problems. Among those steps: Georgia officials must establish a hotline and website for voters to check if their ballots were counted; conduct a thorough review of provisional ballots; and provide detailed information about every provisional ballot cast in Tuesday’s election.
“This is a big win for the voters, Democrats, and Stacey Abrams
“Brian Kemp and the Republican Party have been trying to begin the transition and take power in Georgia by attempting to shut down the election. The Abrams campaign has taken legal action to make sure that every vote is counted and with the Democratic candidate roughly 20,000 votes short of triggering an automatic runoff, any ruling that helps to gets all the votes counted is a big win for Democrats.
…"Republicans went as far as to not provide power cords for voting machines in Democratic areas.The GOP tried everything imaginable to deny the right to vote in Georgia and they still might lose.”
➣ Definitely BIG news for today (11/13) in the Georgia governor’s race!
Count all the votes. End GOP voter suppression. Call out Brian Kemp for his coordinating crimes and election tampering.
weird how I became a much more compassionate and accepting person when I realised that drug addiction is the symptom of a problem and not the problem in itself
you also start to realise just how much the War On Drugs was actually a war against the poor, against survivors, against trans people, against sex workers, against the mentally ill and the disabled, against PoC, against queers, against the homeless. how much of it was a government manufactured ploy to sell violence against the marginalized as violence against addiction, as if addiction was not a symptom of systemic abuse.
Summarized : Ana is a competitive dancer and a dance teacher. She was brutally assaulted on her way home. She was raped, stabbed and beaten. Ana suffered physical trauma as well as deep psychological trauma. She will be spending another month in a hospital, which leaves her with no income. Her friends and family are hoping Ana will be able to fullfil one of her biggest dream – to compete in a Latin dance competition abroad in Vienna in 6 months. She also needs to cover her medical bills, therapies and basic necessities.
This is Ana, my best friend of 12 years. She is an amazing competitive Latin and Ballroom dancer who won numerous competitions and awards. She is also one of the kindest, most caring people I know. When we first met, 12 years ago, I didn’t speak a word of English as I am a daughter of Czech immigrants who moved to New York a month before Ana and I met. She was the first person in this strange new place who made me feel like I belonged. Every day she would help me with homework and practise English with me. After 3 months of her constant help, I became nearly fluent.
A week ago, something unthinkable happened to Ana.
…dare I say veterans being the public image of PTSD in america is deliberate propaganda to make us sympathize with soldiers who kill people overseas ? way more women have PTSD than men, and a lot have it from sexual and domestic violence, not combat.
1. I had C-PTSD for almost my entire life but never even considered it as a possible diagnosis, so I didn’t seek out help for it, because I’ve never been in combat. It took over 40 years, fanfic, some assholes in fandom gatekeeping me out, and my ex saying, “Uh, I really think you have PTSD,” before I finally got the diagnosis.
2. When I started looking into a service dog, not one organization would help me because I’m not a veteran. When I finally found an assistance dog school that would help, they charged $500 to enroll and $200/month.
Most of us didn’t expect this to be anything but stopping the slide into the abyss.
Don’t kid yourself.
I don’t think any of us are naive, or so idealistic that they can’t see what’s happening around them. Today was simply about giving us time to have a Plan B.
And we’ve achieved that. Control of the House by the Dems is a big deal, or COULD be a big deal. Some of the people who have been elected today – Halland, Davids, Omar and Ocasio-Cortez, for example, though there are many examples – are canaries in the coal mine for some of the fossils in Congress, or they should be, if Pelosi wants to fucking listen to what people are telling her and the other Dems.
So now we have time. What next?
You don’t have to know right this second, but tomorrow, when you wake up and shit still stinks, what’s our Plan B? What do we do tomorrow?
Congratulations. We’ve hit a mile marker on the marathon.
Tomorrow, we wake up, and we keep going.
We said the exact same thing in 2016. What did we get in return?
– Muslim Immigration and Travel Ban
– War on Immigrants
– War on Sexual Abuse Survivors, Women’s Health, and Reproductive Health Rights
– War on LGBTQ+
– War on Healthcare
– A massive infidelity scandal
– The degradation of American values (just look at how conveniently lawmakers threw basic human decency out of the window in the Kavanaugh confirmation!)
– Mass shooting on a synagogue
– Mass shooting in Parkland
– Mass shooting in a yoga studio
– Vehicular murder in Charlottesville
– Fire bombing of mosques and synagogues
– Vandalism in many religious and societal institutions
– Bombs being sent in the mail
– A strengthened NRA
– Fox News still going strong
– A WORSENING racist cops crisis
– Permit Patty, Cornerstone Candice, BBQ Becky, and an increasing number of open racists
When will it stop? When we become desensitized? When all of this becomes normal? Because we’ve basically made that choice this time the same way we did last year…
Cool, so, what’s your plan? Is your plan to just say ‘look at everything we’ve lost’? Because a) that’s not a plan and b) you think any of us have forgotten any of the above and c) that’s not a plan?
If you want to make a post saying ‘all is lost,’ or whatever the point of this was, you’re always free to make your own post. Sometimes it’s really okay to let someone say ‘this is a marathon, get up tomorrow and get to work’.
Because here’s the thing: we did get to work, and it mattered. Voter turnout was historic. We saw the House shift control, which gives subpoena power to Democrats, and takes vital House leadership positions away from Trump’s yes-men. That matters. What else did we see? The first two NA women, the first two Muslim women, the first Palestinian-American, the first Somali-American, the first, the first, the first: we, as leftists, got to work, and it made a fucking difference. A rank-and-file Democrat was unseated during the primaries, and then the challenger was elected in the general election, and if the calcified creatures of perpetual compromise in charge of the vaguely left-leaning part of this two-party mess are paying any attention, they’re on notice. (I do not expect them to be paying attention.)
I mean if you just want to wring you hands and despair, there’s room for that, but for fuck’s sake, don’t come in here and suck the air out of a me saying ‘it’s okay, we made a difference, we can keep going, don’t give up, we got what we really expected out of this, and that’s okay.’
Anyway, for everyone else: the work you put in made a difference. Thanks for helping stave off the apocalypse for people like my family.
(Also, idk about y’all, but this was NOT my message after 2016. That was the most emotionally crushing election I ever lived through, and I voted in 2000.)
ALSO:
Imagine you are halfway up a cliff.
Below you is a spiky pit full of poisonous snakes.
You’re slipping.
Someone throws you a rope. (They do not swear on the grave of your father to not kill you until you’ve reached the top.)
This is great, except that the rope is strong enough to support your weight–not to climb.
Would you rather fall, or hang on the rope in one spot until you’ve gotten enough strength back to keep climbing???
I don’t know about you, but this should be a pretty obvious fucking metaphor, and I would rather take the fucking rope, thank you.
Staying where we are is still better than where we could have gone.
Fucking thank you.
… Also we HAVEN’T stayed where we were, Dems won control of the fucking House and ousted a bunch of rep governors. What kind of cracked walnut doesn’t understand how big of a victory that is?? How fucking DARE anyone compare this to 2016??? That rhetoric smells as bad as Russian troll shit.
And things like Governor’s races MATTER. Remember that time the Governor of Michigan overthrew the elected government of Flint specifically so he could POISON everyone at great expense, then blocked all attempts to help them for over a year and they still don’t have safe water because the Republicans refuse to pay to fix things they break?
That guy just got voted the hell out.
Are you seriously arguing that having a Governor who won’t literally poison children for fun is better than having a Governor who WON’T do that and might actually fix things? Because those two things look wildly different to me!
Is the battle over? NO. We are going to have to keep fighting tooth and nail over the next couple of years, but IT IS PROGRESS.
Mitch McConnel promised out right to steal everybody’s health care if they won the election. Winning the House STOPS that. I literally become HOMELESS and die if the promised cuts to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid (Medicaid cpvers part of my Medicare premium) go through. A whole lot of people die if they repeal the ACA and the protections for pre-existing conditions go through. That won’t happen because we took the House.
If y’all came out in 2016, we wouldn’t be where we are now. Those of us who had the most to lose if basic civil rights were repealed begged you all to vote Democrat to stop this from happening.
Now we have to all pull together to fight our way back up to where we were two years ago.
Mourn if you have to, but Do Not Give the Fuck Up! That’s what they want you to do. They want you to lie down so they can rollover you! Fuck that!
We fight! We have each other’s backs! We leave no one behind this time! we keep the fuck going because they alternative is neo-feudal facist dystopia and people likee me rounded up into camps to die and I’m not going without a damned fight!
This made me nearly bite a pencil in half in enraged memory.
@ THE REST OF MY ANCIENT HISTORY CLASS; Y’ALL ARE WELCOME FOR THAT FUCKIN A THE REST OF YOU DID NO GODDAMN WORK FOR
Oh man, so I know everyone hates group projects with ample good reason, but lemme just tell you something that happened to me in my final year of uni. My dad got real sick and was in and out of hospital numerous times, one time with a suspected heart attack. Which meant my mum ended up caring for my dad, and I wound up caring for my disabled brother, on top of working a part time job and going to university full time.
My grades slid dramatically. I was having to appeal nearly all my results with my professors, and was mercifully granted extensions by all but one of them. (Which, if you’re out there Ronald: stub your toe and step on lego for the rest of eternity.) And then our Revolutionary Cultures prof. assigned a group project, and paired us at random with our classmates. And I knew, I knew I was just going to be a dead weight so I went to my new buddy and told them we should go to the profs office and ask for her to be switched to someone else who wasn’t just going to drag them down. And my new best buddy for the rest of the semester looked at me, looked at our assigned project, and very gently started to cry as she told me “I was just about to say the same thing to you,” and then tearfully told me her mum was dying, and the only reason she hadn’t dropped out to take care of her was because her mum wanted to see her graduate. She’d been given six months and we graduated in five. Provided we finished this class. And we were both out of appeals and leniency time.
It’s probably one of my most vivid memories from the whole college experience, just sitting on the floor of the Renaissance Lit corridor hugging someone who until a moment ago had been a relative stranger known only in passing, and trying to tell them it would be okay, we’d get the paper done. And we did. We scraped a C- together between the two of us and we managed to coast over the passing mark for the class and were allowed to graduate with abysmal but passing marks.
And I still think about her all the time. Especially when I wind up in group projects for work, and it feels like no one else is shouldering any of the burden, I make a note to reach out and say “hey, you don’t seem to be engaging with this much, are you okay?”
And a lot of the time it shocks people. They’re not expecting earnest concern for their lack of interest, and you find out things like their kid is sick, their dog just died, they’ve got health issues going on, or sometimes they just don’t know where to begin with the project and didn’t want to tell you that because they were frightened of being judged or perceived as lazy when they’re just overwhelmed.
And I honestly wish things like this were taught in team building exercises, cause that’s what group projects in school are. They’re supposed to be teaching you how to work well with others and achieve a common goal, while at the same time totally skipping over the fundamentals of human interaction and how to engage socially with others, and it’s fucking bullshit.
wupacing 