joasakura:

enbyofdionysos:

dontkillbirds:

miau-is-me:

luvr4photography:

radiogrimshaw:

annathemoony:

soupnbananaz:

littleartemis:

radiogrimshaw:

radiogrimshaw:

ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm

i know there are some writers who follow me

please

take note

I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.

So writers, take note.

jesus h. christ

I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.

Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.

Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.

A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.

So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.

This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.

Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.

ive learned a lot today omg

i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this

#huge dicks are like communism

I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^

Just a heads up that 6 inches isn’t the average, 6 inches is considered a big dick

The average penis size is between 3 to 5 inches when flaccid and 4 to 6 inches when hard

Reblogging for “Sarlacc Pit”

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

penny-anna:

Consider: Hobbits unused to carrying swords, initially VERY unclear on when it’s appropriate to whip em out

Merry and Pippin have a disagreement over, idk, whether cake or pie is better and both draw their swords like ‘HAVE AT THEE’ 

meanwhile Aragorn in the background like, boys please, please boys those are sharp

Frodo: *napping*

Boromir: hey Frodo wake up we need to talk-

Sam: he’s having his nap sir

Boromir: Sam please this is important

Sam: *draws his fucking sword* HE’S HAVIN HIS NAP GO AWAY

Frodo is slightly more sensible & very polite

Frodo: *sees Aragorn with his sword drawn* oh is there trouble. should i get out my sword

Aragorn: …no that’s alright

Frodo: are you sure it’s no trouble

Aragorn: Frodo if i want you to draw your sword I’ll. I’ll say so alright

Frodo: ah, alright 🙂 just say the word

Boromir: *grabs Sam’s sword* ok I’m confiscating this till you learn how to use it appropriately

Sam: *does not let go*

Boromir: *pulls harder*

Sam: *still does not let go*

Boromir: *slowly dragging Sam across the ground* HOW ARE YOU SO STRONG

Frodo: *waking up* WHAT… is going on

Boromir: *holding sword like 6 feet up in the air w Sam dangling off it* um

Sam: I’m handling it Mr Frodo go back to sleep

ideokinesis:

hvlth-gxth:

team-bear-arms:

kingjaffejoffer:

shesajewel79:

kingjaffejoffer:

Just called my new boss by the wrong name in a meeting in front of everyone

What happened next??

Awkward silence from everyone

Nobody corrected me. I eventually found out a few mins later when someone called him by the right name

Call him by the wrong name again, but a different one than you just used.

Call him by the same wrong name again but forcefully and with eye contact. You’re the boss now.

Introduce yourself by his name and call him by your own name. You’re the boss now.

daismonius:

iguanamouth:

bertb0t:

antique-symbolism:

bertb0t:

antique-symbolism:

Imagine a dragon at Antiques Roadshow, appraising its hoard

Imagine the dragon hoards monetarily worthless things like newspapers or old bones and the person appraising it getting more and more nervous about telling the dragon their stuff isnt worth anything

Imagine that the dragon knows this and just likes watching the person squirm.

The dragon actually hoards uncomfortable situations

I just love it when people come up with random weird animal or dragon things and iguanamouth illustrates them just because.

mia7437:

thats-so-roentgen:

thepillgrums:

tredlocity:

teathattast:

Throckmorton

Your cousin Throckmorton, the skateboarder.

Apparently this is a running gag in math textbooks

Oh, no, my friend, @aceyuurikatsuki . It’s not just that. It is so much more. Settle down and let your friendly neighborhood x-ray tech explain you a thing.

Throckmorton’s Sign, otherwise known as Throckmorton’s Principle, does in fact have to do with dicks. Because it is fairly normal for a dick to show up on a hip or pelvis x-ray. But the thing about Throckmorton’s Sign is, it’s not just that the dick is visible. It is a legitimate diagnostic tool.

Let me explain: let’s say a person equipped with a penis is in a car accident and has right leg and right side hip/pelvic pain. Their doctor will order x-rays. Unfortunately, sometimes fractures are so small that they can be missed, or, because the patient is in such bad shape and the images obtained aren’t the best quality, the radiologist can’t be sure for one reason or another if what they’re seeing is actually a fracture.

So what do they do? They look for the dick.

You heard me correctly. The dick.

Throckmorton’s Sign is when “the penis points to the area of pain.” So if the above-mentioned AMAB patient’s xray aren’t displaying a clear, obvious fracture, but their dick is pointing to the right side, 9 times out of 10, the injury or fracture is on the right hip or leg area, so then the radiologist will focus on that side while reading.

Now I know what my non-radiology followers are thinking. “Ace, this sounds like bullshit. This can’t be true. You’re lying through your teeth.” But I swear to you, it is 100% accurate. I have seen a positive Throckmorton’s Sign multiple times with my own eyes over the course of the past 7 years. Ask any x-ray tech, and they will probably agree with me.

Your dick is good for at least one thing, and that thing is helping a radiologist diagnose your upper femur, hip, or pelvic fracture.

This had been a PSA.

holy fucking shit

dingdongyouarewrong:

dingdongyouarewrong:

dankmemeasstronaut:

dingdongyouarewrong:

dankmemeasstronaut:

dingdongyouarewrong:

dingdongyouarewrong:

i feel like ikea turns me into a different person. i walk into the swedish furniture jail and suddenly i’m a 29 year old pinterest mom who owns 6546 minimalist storage bins and names her daughter parsley

i take one look at a showroom with like a perfectly styled FJÅLBJØRKBÖLLSTORP or whatever and suddenly i am this woman

A conservative dress with children of your own race. SO progressive!

…. do you need something, or?

Yes, I need to tell you that you have been manipulated by this site I used to spend my entire youth on. I used to be just like you but life made me mature and I realize now how brainwashed I was. This site is poison, and I sincerely and absolutely mean that. You were here since 2012? I was since 2009. Please, wake up, I beg you. Please stop being misled by all these labels and infighting and utopian ideals, it’s not worth it. Stop living life for cheap pleasure. Seeing innocent people be led to chaos like this makes me cry. It really does. i wish you the best.

what in the god damn hell are you talking about……. this was a post about ikea

im short circuiting