i think an aspect of rape culture that we don’t talk about often enough is the whole myth that ur first time is supposed to be painful and a bloody mess. like i know the myth itself has been addressed and debunked many times but we don’t talk about how intrinsically that is linked with rape culture. the normalisation of sex that causes physical harm and pain from the minute u become sexually active is so tragic and awful? like generations of girls have been lied to and told that it’s ok for you to physically suffer during ur first time having sex and so many boys have been convinced it’s not their responsibility to make sure that like….doesn’t happen? the number of conversations i’ve had with girl friends and we’ve exchanged stories of our first times and so many of them were in so much pain they told their partner to stop and he was like “dw it’s supposed to hurt” and carried on…..? or friends who casually mention bleeding for literally days afterwards ??? like that’s something that’s totally normal and not a sign of serious physical trauma? rape culture is honestly so disgusting and so pervasive and women have to put up with so much and im like so tired of it
The vast majority of women who bled during their first time with PIV, or their first few times, were actually bleeding from their interior vaginal walls because they weren’t aroused enough for penetration. The hymen exists to protect the interior of the vagina during fetal development and it begins to wear away starting at birth. Most women who are ready and going slow will not experience any pain let alone bleeding. It’s not a “safety seal” for a woman’s sexuality.
This is all so heartbreakingly true. The first time I had sex he got MAD that i didnt bleed because he thought I lied about being a virgin. I tried to tell him I was just really turned on and it felt good for my first time but he broke up with me shortly after because “ All girls are suppose to bleed their first time, its how we know theyre pure” LEGIT THAT WAS THE REASON.
Absolutely true. When I had my first time I didn’t tell him I was a virgin, and it didn’t hurt or bleed at all. It was all very ok. [Dude turned out to be a jackass after, as the guy above, tho, but not about this] And I spent a long time to understand what could be wrong with me that my body didn’t work like it was supposed to, even though it pretty much did!
This idea brings women more and more far away from trying to be aroused in sex, by the notion that you don’t really need to enjoy it, you need to get used to sex. I know girls who bled in their first 10 to 20 times having sex and thought it was normal, because they were not used to it.
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