aight fuckers I’m doing it I’m spending a full $4 to watch the first lotr movie, for the first time
so like I get, you know, power and malice and cruelty were ‘poured’ into the rings, but like. what did they actually put in those things. what fuckin gold gives a ring malice. why did the elves only get three.
holy shit it’s Agent Smith with pointy ears
this ring was made of weet-bix and nutri grain
it was in this moment, when all hope was lost, that issieldor-whoever took up his father’s sword –
I’M SORRY BUT I’M LAUGHING THE RING GIVES THE BIG BAD GUY LIKE DARK MAGIC AND A DEMON ARMY TO CONTROL BUT EESEELDOOR PUTS IT ON AND HE JUST TURNS INVISIBLE
holy shit I just experienced seven and a half minutes of introductory exposition by a mysterious lady who apparently thinks VERY little of hobbits
omg is this WHOLE movie exposition
it has been remarked by some that a hobbit’s only real passion
is for food
FOOD
a wizard is never late
says Ian McKellan, wishing he was Julie Andrews, Queen of Genovia
I know absolutely nothing about either of these two but I already fucking love their relationship it’s beautiful
OH SO BILBO’S THE FUCK THAT CAUSED ALL THOSE JUMP SCARES
oh shit son he’s got the ring and the golem voice
okay so that’s pretty fucking cute
apparently every hobbit has an instinctual urge to hug Ian McKellen and honestly? same
holy shit guys I’m not even 20 minutes in I’m gonna have to make multiple posts
Conclusion: Voldemort was the most useless, magic dependant wizard that ever existed. He could have lived till like 200 if he just ate well and exercised, but no he had to go and split up his soul and ruin perfectly good jewellery, fucking dumbass.
this sounds like it was written by hermione granger at 1 am
He tried to use an advanced death magic spell to kill a baby. He literally doesn’t know how to do anything without magic. Just drop it out a window my dude, babies are so delicate
Aaand that was Ron
To be fair, magical babies might not die from being dropped out of a window, as they have wild magic which can be triggered when they feel strong emotions (like fear) or possibly as a defense mechanism when put in danger (I don’t remember if this was explicitly said in the books or if it’s something I thought was implied). In fact, didn’t Neville survive being thrown out of a window as a child? His great uncle or some obscure relative did that to him to test if he was magical, I think? And that’s how his family found out he wasn’t a squib.
fun fact M’baku mentions that the Jabari tribe worship Hanuman, the Hindu god. The monkey link is obviously there, but it’s also a nice shout-out to the strong Indo-East African cultural transference that has taken place for centuries, and shows that despite the insular nature of Wakanda specifically, Indian customs and traditions and religion have still found their way in. The Jabari’s vegetarianism is also likely influenced by Indian/Hindu tradition. My Indian dad, who was born and raised in Kenya and has Swahili woven into the Punjabi he passed down to us, loved the film. Wakanda forever!!
wupacing 