@ElaheIzadi:’Beauty and the Beast’ to have Disney’s first-ever ‘exclusively gay moment’ @HeatherMatarazz: I thought it was when I popped out the closet in “Princess Diaries 2”
also this
She definitely legalized same-sex marriage in Genovia
Whenever Hagrid finally decides to retire as Care of Magical Creatures professor you can bet your last knut that Charlie Weasley flies back to England the following week excitedly waving his resume and recommendation letters from no less than two Scamanders and the Minister of Magic, Hermione Granger.
I’m pretty sure he would also have recommendation letters from Rubeus Hagrid, the retiring professor, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived and a very confusing one from Puddlemere United player, Oliver Wood, saying that he was one of the best Seekers he had ever seen.
Not to mention the fact that he flies back to England not on a broomstick or any other normal form of transportation, but landing on the Hogwarts grounds on the back of the largest dragon anyone has ever seen.
Reblogging again for that last addition.
Charlie: *glides in on a dragon* HELLO HIRE ME
Everyone: What the fuck
Ron: (in the background, mortified) this is normal
Not just any large dragon, either. A huge Norwegian Ridgeback that immediately curls itself around Hagrid’s Hut once Charlie dismounts. And it purrs when Hagrid dodders out of his hut to see what’s going on.
But have you considered: Thorin might be nearsighted?
Case in point:
Exhibit 2
“It cannot be.”aka Doesn’t actually recognize Azog until he starts talking…
This needs no explanation:
*BOOM*
Exhibit 3:
Not subtitled, but Thorin shouts for Kili when actually Fili is the one who was almost crushed >.<
Exhibit 4
Not pictured because I couldn’t find a gif, but Thorin prompting Balin to lead them out of Rivendell because he “can see knows these paths”
Exhibit 5
Cut off Azog’s arm, was probably aiming for something slightly more fatal, couldn’t tell he was alive when dragged back inside Moria…
Exhibit 6
WHERE’S BILBO?
(”I have no idea because I can’t see for shit.”)
Conclusion:
Since wearing glass in front of your eyes is slightly more of a liability for a fighter than people’s faces being slightly blurry, I’m just gonna throw this out there as a possible explanation for fandom to run with 😉
Ok but I think this is my favorite post of mine that’s done well because
1) it give a humorous explanation for Thorin’s random moments of fail that’s cracky and funny
2) it actually kinda makes sense and it gives Thorin a minor (or not so minor for his life and world) disability that he works around and actually kinda explains said moments of fail realistically and honestly guys the more I think about it and replay the movies in my head the fewer contradictions I can find for this headcanon???
There is a fanfic in here somewhere
Convincing arguments!
Thorin has suddenly become more human and more pleasant (short-sighted person speaking here)
You are not wrong OP, Thorin IS nearsighted. In the book, it was even canon:
“How far away do you think it is?” asked Thorin, for by now they knew Bilbo had the sharpest eyes among them. “Not far at all. I shouldn’t think above twelve yards.” “Twelve yards! I should have thought it was thirty at least, but my eyes don’t see as well as they used a hundred years ago-” (From the chapter, ‘Flies and Spiders’
of The Hobbit, by JRR Tolkien
)
Thorin isn’t just slightly nearsighted either, he thought a large object at across-the-street distance was three-quarters of the length of a football field away. By modern standards he would be legally, coke-bottle-glasses-or-we-don’t-let-you-drive, blind.
In the movie Thorin’s nearsightedness is never actually stated, but I love the clever ways in which they worked it into the acting (as avelera highlighted very well), and also into the costume and set design (implying that Dwarves tend to be nearsighted in general): Dwarven ornamentation is always three-dimensional, be it stamped leather, cut runes, thickly-embroidered brocade, or cast-metal beads. There are no purely painted or smooth-inlaid designs anywhere that would require sight, let alone 20/20 vision.
Dwarven cities too, are violently three-dimensional and ornamented with a lot of straight-lined geometry and gigantic statues. Perhaps most telling of all, the terrifyingly high stone bridges found in both Erebor AND Moria are treated as perfectly ordinary sidewalks… which would make sense for a race that couldn’t even SEE the ground below.
As for Thorin’s precision-jump in the forges…
Brass ones. Solid fucking brass ones.
When I talk my glasses off, the last two images look identical to me… just saying, I relate
What I love about this too is that you CAN’T tell me that the dwarrow didn’t invent the use of glass for lenses. Like, you CAN’T.
Not only are they incredibly necessary for detail work on very, very fine gem work, glasses are really freaking necessary for interacting with the world outside the mountain if you’re as fucking blind as Thorin is
Which brings up the point- why doesn’t Thorin wear glasses?
There are two theories I can think of right off the bat. The first is that Thorin doesn’t wear them because they don’t look “kingly,” which, while absolutely hysterical, I don’t think is likely to be true.
No, what I’m willing to bet is that glasses are too expensive to create and maintain for a people in exile, and if his people are going without you can be damn sure that Thorin will be right there with them.
My theory @weresehlat is actually that glasses during any kind of sword fight would be a huge liability. Having GLASS in front of your eyes just waiting for your opponent to shatter and blind you would be super dangerous, much better to just take the blurriness (in a hand-to-hand fight you don’t need that much precision vision anyway).
(Holy shit I just realized that’s why Thorin misses Thranduil’s white deer by like a MILE when he shoots at it!)
The other alternative could simply be: Thorin doesn’t know.
See, across all the reblogs of this post I’ve seen SO MANY people mistake nearsighted and farsighted. I’m saying specifically that Thorin is nearsighted, he CAN see things that are near to him, he CAN’T see things that are far away.
I absolutely believe dwarves have figured out lenses for close-up work like jewel-cutting or even just for reading, after all Balin has reading glasses, we see them in the film. Farsightedness (not being able to read close-up) is a product of the eye muscles growing tired over time from constantly focusing in and out. It would be very likely that people who do fine detailed work would go farsighted very quickly.
However, going back to Thorin complimenting Bilbo on his “keen eyes”, Thorin may genuinely believe that Bilbo has unusually sharp, almost elvish eyes, and not realize that Bilbo is just a normal 20/20 and that Thorin nearly blind as a bat. As someone who was nearsighted, the first time you put on corrective lenses is a revelation (THE TREES HAVE LEAVES!) but until that point you don’t know that you have a problem. My theory is that Thorin may genuinely not know that his vision sucks, and reading glasses are actually just easier to make than distance-glasses, he may not ever find out. Or he knows and just takes the hit to vision because having Azog headbutt him in the face while he’s wearing them would end very poorly for him 😛
I may be late to the party, but this makes so much sense! I would also propose that at least some of Thorin’s grouchiness may be due to headaches from straining to make things out at a farther distance than his eyes really allow for. Also, you know, the painful past and stuff…
Don’t forget he worked in a forge too. A mate of mine suffers from something called Welder’s Flash which has damaged his eyesight and it’s from working in similar conditions to those we see in the flashback scenes of the forges of Erebor.
If you’re working in a very hot environment or a place where the contrast between bright and dark is very high then it can damage your eyesight. So Thorin says his eyesight used to be better when he was younger, but in the century since they fled Erebor he’s not been a prince sitting around doing princely stuff, he’s been working in a blacksmith’s forge.
I was talking to someone about Fury Road today and they said ‘I just hated how it had no plot. They just left and then turned around and went straight back, it was so stupid’ and I think my soul was in danger of leaving my body because really – that’s the whole point. That’s the great message of Mad Max Fury Road – they need to leave and go back because they need to understand that the Green Place doesn’t exist. Valhalla doesn’t exist. There’s no better place waiting, no Eden to escape to, nowhere for Furiosa and the wives to run to. This world, broken and damaged and war-torn as it is, is all they have, and if they want a Green Place then they have to make it themselves. They have to choose peace. They have to choose love for each other. They have to take the seeds from the older, violent generation and start again. They have to destroy the oppressive power structures holding them back, capitalism and the patriarchy that Immortan Joe represents.
The Green Place was around them all along, and it takes this long, cyclical journey to understand that, both for them and for the audience. The circular narrative structure is an absolute work of genius, and the fact that the entire plot can be boiled down to “they leave and come back” is an indication of how well this works as an action movie – that the plot is simple enough so everyone can understand what’s going on while explosions are going off and cars are racing past at 100mph – yet it’s still incredibly rich and wonderfully complex too.
And what a pertinent message to send out – the generations before us killed the world and now it’s up to us to fix what’s broken. There’s no Green Place but the one we make ourselves, which will be born out of fire and blood and rise from the ashes of the old world.
wupacing 