“22 year old puts on bat costume to punch criminals, has no powers” is hard enough to wrap your head around but throw in “24 year old adopts 12 year old who also punches criminals, has no powers” and that is not something that would ever occur to anyone
like OBVIOUSLY batman must be an older man who knows what he’s doing, and not just some traumatized 20-something accidentally collecting traumatized children
haha wow referring to bruce wayne as a 20-something really puts things in perspective. batman: probably actually younger than joey from friends.
i am enjoying how completely horrified everyone is by this thought
to elaborate on my preferred timeline it goes:
orphaned at 12 (consistent with how his ptsd manifests)
tested out of high school and accepted into yale at 16 (because he is an overachieving type a motherfucker who channels his survivor’s guilt into being The Best)
spends six years at yale getting a jd/mba and using all his free time to travel the world and learn punches
ready to take over the family biz at 22
“hello alfred i am back from yale here are all of my fancy degrees ps i’m going to dress like a bat now good luck talking me out of it i’m technically a lawyer now lol”
TWENTY-TWO YEAR OLD BATMAN. TWENTY-THREE YEAR OLD BATMAN. GOING IT ALONE. IT’S JUST HIM.
this is probably when he is most nolan-esque because have you ever met a man in his early twenties who thinks it’s his job to save the world
they’re the fucking worst
TWENTY-FOUR YEAR OLD BATMAN MEETS A TWELVE YEAR OLD WHO JUST WATCHED HIS PARENTS DIE
twelve year old mistakenly assumes someone who is 24 is a grownup, no one corrects him
the fact that either of them survive is a miracle even before you take the night job into account, thank god for alfred or they would probably get scurvy
i told you that just so you would understand how i have justified it when i tell you that this makes Batman during his first year with Robin younger than:
Joey in season one of Friends
Everyone in season one of Friends
Jake Peralta in Brooklyn 99
Uncle Jesse from Full House
This guy:
Everything makes sense now.
I always knew Bruce was in his mid 20′s when he took in Dick, but it only now occurred to me while reading this just what that would mean.
Eventually they just started calling each other the names the others hated the most anyway, and then it stuck, and well, the names were so childish and they’re sixteen years old! No one’s going to think they’re these people ten years from now. Nope. Not happening.
It’s even more sad when you realize that this was cut so EARLY in the filming process that it didn’t even make the finalized screenplay, which is what the novelization is written from.
Steve Rogers uses voice to text to send texts and formats them like a telegram
HEY BUCK STOP SAM AND I ARE OUT SHOPPING STOP WANT US TO PICK UP SOME TAKEOUT STOP
Steve rogers fully understands that this is not the correct way to text. He just likes the absolute outrage it causes every time someone receives a text from him and wants to see how many times he can make the same people explain texting to him until they realize. Sam is currently at 14 times, beating out tony who’s at nine. Twice now shuri has facetimed him after reading bucky’s texts. He’s also managed to convince thor that this is the Earth Way to text and it’s great
Idk Clarice, maybe we’re just tired, and life is uncertain, and we like the idea of a stable husband with a steady job and a big dog and his own place away from all the loud, shapeshifting-kink party gods.
McGonagall: Yes, that’s what we’re doing. In our very limited free time, we took a class on a very outdated, very unnecessary form of communication just so we could talk about you in front of you.
[later]
McGonagall, to Flitwick: That’s… exactly what we did.
WHY DOES EVERYONE ASSUME THOR DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE’S DOING??! He literally smiles every time someone falls for his “I’m just a dumb jock” routine. Guys, he grew up with Loki, he went to university, he’s been alive for over a millennia. His flaw in the first Thor movie was that he had too much hubris, not that he was stupid.
He knows that he can play dumb and get out of any situation. Do you all not see that sheepish smirk he always does?
Thor: Ragnarok only confirms what the first two movies were hinting at – Thor is very intelligent and can even pull one over on Loki when he wants to. After the events in The Avengers, he knows Loki’s true feelings about him and that’s why he’s so emotional in The Dark World and why he’s always teasing him in Ragnarok.
@unstatedmartini: #i’m 200% sure that they had another game called Terribly Sorry#hey. let’s do Terribly Sorry.#no. it’s humiliating.#not for me it’s not.#*cue thor being fake-stupid and fake-clumsy and fake-drunk and real loud*#*loki following along waving his hands nervously* terribly sorry! oh dear! my brother can be such a brute! terribly sorry!#and they’re long gone before anyone realizes that the Important Magic Thingy or Super Secret Map is gone
wupacing 