I found a pun that works in both English and Spanish

learningtoacceptchange:

thedinosaurprince:

badmooonrising:

warning–known–fangirl:

envahissantecapucine:

waiting-unknown:

theload:

ravenstagsmooches:

Where do cats go when they die? Purrgatory.

¿De dónde van los gatos cuando mueren? Purgatorio.

image

Dude it works also in Italian! ‘Dove vanno i gatti quando muoiono? Nel purGATTOrio’

could also work in french: “où vont les chats quand ils meurent? Au purCHATtoire”

The ultimate pun

IT ALSO WORKS IN PORTUGUESE

“Para onde os gatos vão quando morrem? Para o purGATOrio”

WE HAVE ACHIEVED PEAK PUN

The pun heard ‘round the world. 

biggest-gaudiest-patronuses:

natalunasans:

doolallymagpie:

doolallymagpie:

straight up, i think we need to start unironically using the term megacorporation

amazon, disney, pepsi, pretty much any company that owns enough subsidiaries that you’re probably touching five of their products at any one time without realizing unless you know very well where everything you buy comes from

that’s a megacorporation

and it’s bad, todd

WE LIVE IN AN OLIGOPOLIC KLEPTOPLUTOCRACY AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE

we care, it’s just hard to spell

what an incredible important yet entertaining post

upennmanuscripts:

cedrwydden:

dragontatoes:

cedrwydden:

So you know how groups of animals sometimes have weird names, like a flamboyance of flamingos or a shrewdness of apes? What if we did that with academic disciplines too?

  • nebula of astronomers
  • fricative of linguists
  • swarm of entomologists
  • monad of philosophers
  • bestiary of medievalists
  • particle accelerator of physicists
  • fistfight of historians
  • dirt hole of archaeologists

The possibilities are endless…

clod of geologists

I said an eruption but this is so much better.

A quire of manuscript scholars.

elidyce:

prismatic-bell:

im-just-a-penguin:

prismatic-bell:

im-just-a-penguin:

prismatic-bell:

gahdamnpunk:

THIS

Can confirm. My favorite book on linguistics has an entire section on AAVE that talks about this.

So some people are better at bad English than others? Also, in what kind of classes is this knowledge useful?

It’s useful for the kind of classes where people aren’t busy being assholes about how other people speak, @im-just-a-penguin.

But don’t take my word for it!

Here’s a website dedicated to explaining dialects that goes over the rules.

Here’s a professional linguist who specializes in AAVE, and just one of his many papers explaining that AAVE is a proper dialect.

Hot shit! Here’s an article from STANFORD UNIVERSITY that’s literally titled “AAVE is not Standard English with mistakes”!!!

Here’s a blurb from PBS, introducing the topic of whether AAVE is a creole or a dialect. You’ll notice neither one of those options means ‘just poor English’.

Here’s English Language and Linguistics Online, which is a nice technical linguistics website, further deconstructing how AAVE works.

Here’s a paper on the habitual “be” from New York University.

Here’s a link to some information from Portland University. I wish to draw your attention specifically to the phrase: “linguists now agree that AAVE is not ‘broken’ English, or slang”.

Here’s a super-technical paper on phonology in AAVE, which gets down into things like why AAVE speakers may say “axed” instead of “asked.”

Hm. Looks like there are a lot of people who study this stuff for a living who disagree with your assessment that it’s “bad English.” I guess you better get reading … . asshole.

What’s so useful about the study of different ways people refuse to speak proper English? You did not answer that question.

Hm! Well, first, let’s define “proper English.”

Do you mean Queen’s English? American English? Canadian English? What about Indian English, or Kenyan English? Maybe Zimbabwean English? Maybe you meant Jamaican English, or Sierra Leonean English. Are those “proper English”?

Well, let’s assume you mean American English, since this kind of asshole question usually only comes from Americans, in my experience. Do you mean Southern American English, with “y’all” and “all y’all” and people who are “fixing to” do things? What about New Englander American English, where the thing I call a “side yard” is a dooryard? How about American English as spoken along the Arizona/Texas/Mexico border, which tends to have features not present in more northern states? Oh! Or what about New York City American English? Only place I’ve ever been where a grinder is a kind of food rather than a kind of food-maker and a train is underground.

Ah! Or perhaps you mean Texan American English, where “might-could” is a valid construction that means neither “might” nor “could.” Or Californian American English! Yes, that must be what you mean!

I didn’t answer the question, asshole, because it is not a valid question, and because you clearly asked it just to be (falsely) pedantic and superior. Rewording it as “refuse to speak proper English” instead of “better at bad English” doesn’t make it valid, it just shows that you know more than one way to be an asshole.

AAVE is an American English dialect. No different from any of the other dialects I just mentioned, except that it tends to be based along race lines rather than geographic ones. It is a correct American English dialect, it is a recognized American English dialect, and you don’t have to like it but you don’t get to shit on it just because you want to be racist … asshole.

Proper English is exactly like a proper cup of tea. Despite the fact that there are as many ways to make tea as there are people who drink tea, every single person believes that their way is the only right way and will go to the grave defending it. 

Some of them, however, just have to be arseholes about it and try to ruin tea for everyone. Don’t be the arsehole. Just drink your tea and let other people have theirs how they like even if they are PHILISTINES who put almond milk or something in there like HEATHENS. It’s their tea, not yours. 

Your Cat Is Trying to Talk to You

star-anise:

[T]here’s not exactly a universal cat language when it comes to meows. Rather, as Bradshaw writes in his book, “a secret code of meows … develops between each cat and its owner, unique to that cat alone and meaning little to outsiders.” This was demonstrated in a 2003 study by Cornell researchers, documented in Bradshaw’s book, in which they recorded meows from 12 cats in five everyday scenarios. They then played those recordings to pet owners, and found that only the owners could correctly decipher the scenario in which the meow was recorded. So cat owners can tell with some accuracy what message their cat is trying to get across via its meows, whether it’s feed me or I’m bored or whatever else, but “each meow is an arbitrary, learned, attention-seeking sound rather than some universal cat-human ‘language,’” Bradshaw writes.

YOUR CAT LITERALLY INVENTED A LANGUAGE FROM SCRATCH TO TALK TO YOU

Your Cat Is Trying to Talk to You

stitchitsteph:

maxgraybooks:

sleepyamericanteen:

take-a-dip-in-the-deadpool:

fromthemindofatwentyorotherlycan:

nuttersincorporated:

the-argumentative-viper:

probablyvampirerpgideas:

anachronistic-cat:

probablyvampirerpgideas:

Make a Vampire character who’s lived through several waves of the common language’s development and can’t let go if certain gramatical habbits from different time eras.

So like, thou ist a horrid creature, an absolute cur, but go off i guess

… can i use that phrase irl?

Absolutely you can and I encourage more uses of similar phrases that just completely fuck up the chronology of the english langauge. I wanna hear 15th century english mixed with surfer speak mixed with current age internet lingo like all the time.

Like this? Well my dude, seems like a weasel hath not such a deal of splean as you’re toss’d with. Chill already, you’re not valid.

You are an unrighteous, bastardly gullion. Heaven truly
knows that thou art false as hell. When you die, I will face God and walk
backwards into hell just so that I can beat your ass in the afterlife too.

I love the idea of a vampire who’s language travels back in time as they get pissed.

I grieve for thee in these trying times. Alexa play Despacito

Reading these is like literary whiplash

@therealjimkaragkounis help I’m sOBBBBINNNNGGG

As an English teacher and a specialist in the English language this tickles my amusement

the-winter-road:

andersonsallpurpose:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

bold-sartorial-statement:

theshitpostcalligrapher:

themintykid:

systlin:

hiking-viking:

chromalogue:

kirkspocks:

odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”

Oðinn spake:

Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth,
And bathed his count’nance fair.
Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar,
I found on the cold pavement
While returning in glory | from a grand hunt
For a 3 AM quesadilla.

@damn-fuck-i-burnt-myself-again

I need this framed on my wall it’s so beautiful. 

@theshitpostcalligrapher

ay @systlin hmu

@systlin

My husband complained that this was more Shakespeare than Eddas, and I challenged him to do better.

Solen sken, skönt gyllene

Dagen Tor föddes

På trottoaren, vid Taco Bell

Där låg Loke

—KJN

My translation:

The sun shone, sweet golden

The day of Tor’s birth

On the tarmac, by Taco Bell

There lay Loki

(For poetry reasons, Thor needs the Swedish spelling.)

@bold-sartorial-statement

ay yo show ur husband 

@bold-sartorial-statement no but hang on this should be in runes: 

(oops spot the typos)

i wanna translate this into icelandic so imma do it 

Sólin skein, björt og gullin
við fæðingu Þórs
á stígnum við Taco Bell
Þar lá Loki