this is important – Page 62

oxytocindolorosa:

thephotogfeminist:

burningbells:

If you need Plan B, here’s a printable $10 off coupon.

It doesn’t expire either! It’s a continual offer

Always reblog the plan-b coupon. If you don’t want a baby, stop it before it happens.

thesnadger:

Since once in a blue moon I actually discover a decent rule for adulting, and since I know I have followers a few years younger than me who are just entering the workforce, I want to tell you about a very important phrase.

“I won’t be available.”

Imagine you’re at work and your boss asks you to come in on Saturday. Saturday is usually your day off–coming in Saturdays is not an obligation to keep your job. Maybe you were going to watch a movie with a friend, or maybe you were just going to lie in bed and eat ice cream for eight hours, but either way you really, really don’t want to give up your day off.

If you consider yourself a millennial you’ve probably been raised to believe you need to justify not being constantly at work. And if you’re a gen-Z kid you’re likely getting the same toxic messages that we did. So in a situation like that, you might be inclined to do one of three things:

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Cave when they pressure you to come in anyway, since you’re not doing anything important.

Tell your boss you’d rather not give up your day off. Over-apologize and worry that you looked bad/unprofessional.

Lie and say you’ve got a doctor’s appointment or some other activity that feels like an adequate justification for not working.

The fact is, it doesn’t matter to your boss whether you’re having open heart surgery or watching anime in your underwear on Saturday. The only thing that affects them is the fact that you won’t be at work. So telling them why you won’t be at work only gives them reason to try and pressure you to come in anyway.

If you say “I won’t be available,” giving no further information, you’d be surprised how often that’s enough. Be polite and sympathetic in your tone, maybe even say “sorry, but I won’t be available.” But don’t make an excuse. If your boss is a professional individual, they’ll accept that as a ‘no’ and try to find someone else.

But bosses aren’t always professional. Sometimes they’re whiny little tyrants. So, what if they pressure you further? The answer is–politely and sympathetically give them no further information.

“Are you sure you’re not available?” “Sorry, but yes.”

“Why won’t you be available?” “I have a prior commitment.” (Which you do, even if it’s only to yourself.)

“What’s your prior commitment?” “Sorry, but that’s kind of personal.”

“Can you reschedule it?” “I’m afraid not. Maybe someone else can come in?”

If you don’t give them anything to work with, they can’t pressure you into going beyond your obligations as an employee. And when they realize that, they’ll also realize they have to find someone else to come in and move on.

phoenixonwheels:

peonyb0y:

phoenixonwheels:

phoenixonwheels:

Just for once I’d like to tell the gate agents and flight attendants that my folding wheelchair is going into the onboard closet and not have them tell me there’s “no room”. Bitch that’s a wheelchair closet, not a “your bags” closet. Move your damn bags where they belong.

Ok, so according to my friendly aviation expert, this is a Big Fucking Deal. In fact, if an airline argues with you about putting your wheelchair in the wheelchair closet or even suggests there may not be room, unless there is already another passenger’s wheelchair in that closet, they have violated federal law.

CFR Title 14, Chapter II, Subchapter D, Part 382, Subpart E, Section 382.67, Subsection (e)

“As a carrier, you must never request or suggest that a passenger not stow his or her wheelchair in the cabin to accommodate other passengers (e.g., informing a passenger that stowing his or her wheelchair in the cabin will require other passengers to be removed from the flight), or for any other non-safety related reason (e.g., that it is easier for the carrier if the wheelchair is stowed in the cargo compartment).”

Source

This is hugely important because it means that if this happens to you, you should report their asses to the DOT. Why? Because these statistics are published every year for every airline, and the airline gets a huge ass fine for every violation. If we want to see change, we need to make airlines literally pay every time they treat us this way.

Since I believe this is post mainly applies to Americans, here’s an addition for Canadian air travellers.

Code of Practice: Aircraft Accessibility for Persons with Disabilities (Air Code)

Scope: Aircraft with 30 or more passenger seats operated by Canadian carriers.

“The Air Code sets out that if the configuration of an aircraft with 100 or more passenger seats permits it, the aircraft should have on board storage space to accommodate a manually operated folding or collapsible wheelchair. If not, the passenger should have prompt access to their wheelchair upon arrival at destination and the carrier should make every reasonable effort to provide it at connecting stops where all passengers are permitted to deplane.”

Source

Canada is, unfortunately, far more lax RE disability laws. Perhaps because Canada has no federal accessibility act like the USA… However, if any Canadian airline damages or loses your mobility device, they are required to repair, replace, or refund your mobility device.

Like OP says, if airline staff harangue you over your mobility device, or violate codes they should be following, report them.

Here’s the Canadian law for all my Canadian peeps! The original law is indeed US law and applies to all flights wholly within the US plus all flights originating or terminating within the US (so a flight from Toronto to Detroit would have to comply with the US laws). I believe it also applies to all flights on any US airline even if that flight is totally outside the US (e.g., a Delta Airlines flight from Tokyo to Singapore), but you’ll want to check that before you fly.

Please note that under US law, if an airline damages your wheelchair they have to repair it or else pay you the original purchase price. You’ll need to report the damage before you leave the airport. Don’t sign anything without reading it carefully – airlines have been known to try to get passengers to sign away their rights to this money.

crownsoflaurels1020:

cowlicklesschick:

One time one of my coworkers was talking about his daughter (who was only 5-6 at the time) and how he was already worried about boys, etc. once she got older. He wasn’t one of those dads, who would quite literally hunt down a teenage boy with a shotgun over some backseat shenanigans. He was just a concerned dad.

He asked me what my dad used to do to scare all of the boys away from me, or to at least make sure they were good to me.

My answer?

Example.

My dad never once said, “Katie, if a boy hits you, make sure to bring him back here so I can make him pay.”

Instead, my kind, gentle-soul dad expressed anger and utter contempt for men who beat their wives (and vice versa), and has never in his life raised his hand against me or my mother.

My dad never once said, “Katie, don’t go out with a boy who’s rude to the waitress.”

Instead, my father has treated every single server we’ve had throughout my entire life (except the rare ones who were rude first) with respect and courtesy.

My dad never once told my brothers to get up and offer the pregnant lady their seat on the subway.

Instead he was the first one to stand up, and smiled proudly when his young sons copied him when 2 other women boarded.

My dad didn’t raise me to only make good decisions when he’s there looking over my shoulder. He showed me what to look for in a man, not by preaching at me or declaring that he was the perfect mold. But his treatment of others (esp women) is the foundation for my standards when it comes to men.

So, parents, you want to make sure all of those Bad Apples stay away? Step one is to demonstrate what a Good Apple looks like, up close and personal.

Because if you’ve taught your daughters to respect themselves enough to have high standards, there won’t be any need for you chase any Bad Apples away. Your daughter will take care of that for you.

This is important. It’s also important to teach little girls that self help is always an option.

When I was eight I went to my parents crying because a little boy was routinely jumping me from behind when he passed me in the hallways and pulling my hair and it hurt.

My parents didn’t tell me that the boy must have a crush on me, or that I should cut my hair, or even to go tell a teacher (though that last one wouldn’t have been bad advice).

Instead, my dad knelt down and soberly said the following:

“That’s not ok. It’s never ok for someone to touch you in a manner you don’t like. If someone does that too you once, you ask them politely to stop and tell them you don’t like it when they do that. If they do it a second time, you look them in the eye and tell them loudly, “I’m feeling threatened and if you do that again I will defend myself.’ If they do it a third time, you break their nose.”

He proceeded to teach me how to break someone’s nose.

I’m sure people will debate the appropriateness of this advice, but I’ve only ever had to move past yelling “I’m feeling threatened” once. My dad wanted me to know, from an early age, that I wasn’t weak or entirely dependent on others to defend myself, he wanted to teach me that I had power too, and I should use it when necessary.

doctorsebastianthescientist:

kamorth:

doctorsebastianthescientist:

Hey, unpopular opinion, apparently. But people don’t just “have pain for no reason” doctors say this all the time (especially to women and chronically ill people) and the truth is, Thats literally not possible. Even if your pains are psychosomatic (a word I hesitate to even use because of the way its used so often) there is a reason you are having those pains whether its mental illness, abuse, etc. If your doctor consistently tells you that “well some people just have pain for no reason” get a new doctor. That’s a doctor who is not going to give a shit what your actual symptoms or experiences are.

I just wanna add to clarify the psychosomatic thing.

That word DOES NOT MEAN you’re making it up. It doesn’t mean you’re imagining the symptom. What it means is that the symptom ISN’T DIRECTLY CAUSED BY ANY OF THE THINGS THAT WOULD NORMALLY CAUSE IT.

I fought to get a PCOS diagnosis for 2 and a half years. For the ENTIRE time I was fighting, I was dealing with 3 cysts that were not going away by themselves and eventually required surgery to remove. At one point close to the end of the battle, I suddenly went blind. I was visiting my parents and was standing on the veranda looking out over the tree we had planted in memory of my dog and suddenly I got one of the shooting pains that I was quite frankly used to at that point and my vision started to go dark. It was like the sun was setting while being completely hidden behind storm clouds but it was 2pm in the middle of Summer on a clear day. Within about 30 seconds I couldn’t see ANYTHING. I was 27 years old and I was screaming for my mother.

My mum raced me to her doctor (he was a 15 minute drive away as opposed to 45 minutes to the nearest hospital) and he quickly worked out that there was nothing wrong with my eyes and what had happened was totally unrelated to them. Then he said it was psychosomatic and I freaked out, yelling that I was NOT making this up and I definitely wasn’t imagining it. Very quickly he calmed me down and said he believed me and I had misunderstood. He explained that whatever was going on with my abdominal pains (he suggested PCOS which I hadn’t even heard of at that point) had been ignored for so long that my body was starting to do things other than the normal pain response to try to draw my attention to the problem. My sight going was my body basically jumping around in front of me going “HEY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME HELLLOOOOOOO??????”

He gave me some prescription strength painkillers and my sight started to come back as soon as they started to kick in. About 45 minutes after it started I could see well enough to walk around without help and within a day and a half I was back to normal. On top of that I finally had a scan booked to figure out what the hell was causing all the pain.

Psychosomatic symptoms are NOT imagined or fabricated or happening for “no reason”. Experiencing them DOES NOT make you a liar. It makes you someone who has been battling with something serious for so long that your own body has started to get impatient with you.

I completely agree. Thank you for sharing this.