yeah hey @ Persephone can you pls stop messing with your boy toy and come back I need spring
i love the tags on this because there’s only two responses:
1. “leave her alone, she waited all year to get dicked down”
2. “draG HER SIS. WE NEED TO ESCAPE THIS SNOWY HELL”
Okay but it’s not Persephone doing this. Let’s all start putting the blame where it belongs. Demeter, your daughter is a grown woman. Get your shit together.
there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance.
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom.
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”
Okay random college story of my dads. He was taking a history class and they were writing a timed paper during the class and when the time ended, the professor told everyone to turn in their papers or they would not be graded.
One boy in the class wasn’t finished with his paper when the time was up so he continued to write the paper until the class finished. When it did he went to the turn in the paper. The professor told him that he could not hand in his paper outside of the time restraint because it wasn’t fair to the rest of the people in the class.
So the boy went up to the professor desk and asked “do you know who I am? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM??” The professor calmly told him “no I don’t know who you are.” The boy said “good!” And stuffed his paper into the stack on the professor’s desk of all the papers that had been turned on time and then walked out of the class.
The professor has no choice but to grade his paper.
My favorite thing about this post is that people keep adding college stories to it and they’re so much fun to read
like, heimdall saw that shit right? odin comes back through the bifrost and heimdall is just “…………….”
heimdall: that’s a baby
odin: yes! he’s my son! ………..loki. i’m going to dress him in green and black, because that worked great last time
or odin comes back and is trying to figure out, how to play it, and heimdall and frigga are just waiting for him and completely deadpan
frigga: ah, husband! you have returned from war in time to meet your newborn son. who i had. after being pregnant. secretly.
odin: what
frigga:
heimdall:
loki: *baby noises*
odin: right
honestly, i just need heimdall going up to frigga like “you won’t believe what your husband just did”
odin: he’s a replacement for the child I had to lock away in the shadow realm.
heimdall:
odin: I’ll do better by this one. I know I will.
heimdall:
heimdall: You mean Frigga will.
Odin: Please can we keep it? It’s cute and changes colours and smiles at my empty eye socket. I promise I’ll take care of it I’ll feed it every week and I’ll dress it in green and black and I’ll teach it to throw knives and it will be great!
Heimdall: Frigga, he stole a baby. Say something.
THIS IS THE BEST THING
I like to imagine Frigga visiting Heimdall and they have tea and gossip about how much a mess Odin is.
Hiemdall: *plopping into Friggas parlour and already reaching for the cup Frigga is passing him* Lemme tell you what wild shit your sons are doing in Alfhiem
Hiemdall rollerblading into the throne room this week with sunglasses and a piña coloda: Your Majesty, you’re not going to fucking believe this stuff your son brought back from Midgard.
Frigga, iceskating down the bifrost with three bottles of tequila wearing a mini cape from a midgardian children’s dracula costume: Heimdall, my good bitch, I have news.
Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they’re tragic famine victims who haven’t eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now, because you’re 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me
the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it
not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion
This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs
wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?!
My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn’t seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time I went to double check that he did indeed have food, he’d book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as I walked away he’d follow me screaming again.
Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we’re a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I’m ever out for more than 12 hours I’ll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he’s been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it.
My kitty yells at me every night at 10 because ITS BEDTIME, DAMN IT, GO TO BED WHY ARE YOU NOT IN BED she doesn’t want to sleep with me, she’s just upset that I’m still up
This concern for my sleeping habits ends as soon as midnight passes and MOM MOM WAKE UP AND FEED ME IM HUNGRY WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING HEY HEY HEY WAKE UP
A friend of mine has a cat that we call her ‘supervisor’ because she gets yelled at if she isn’t in bed by 10P Central. It will progress to gentle nips at her hands and interjecting himself between her and her computer.
He basically treats her like a large, bad child. It’s very sweet.
I have a supervisor cat too, who we call ‘Mom’. From about 9 pm on, she makes sure she stays close to me, and any time I show any sign of getting up, she tries to herd me upstairs. She’s very insistent on herding me through my entire evening routine (brushing teeth, pajamas, etc.) and will sit on the foot of the bed and make sure I actually get in it and cry at me if I dawdle. XD
wupacing 